BookerT Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 (edited) I was just reading Soulsearch's thread. Personally I think if I was a crap partner that made my woman feel worthless inside then I shouldn't point the finger if she cheats. It's bound to happen one day, almost as likely as cause and effect. Should the woman leave me instead of cheating on me? yes. Should I leave the woman first if I'm going to be a jerk to her and not love her? Also yes. She's not innocent, but it's still my fault as well. Edited November 3, 2009 by BookerT Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I was just reading Soulsearch's thread. Personally I think if I was a crap partner that made my woman feel worthless inside then I shouldn't point the finger if she cheats. It's bound to happen one day, almost as likely as cause and effect. Should the woman leave me instead of cheating on me? yes. Should I leave the woman first if I'm going to be a jerk to her and not love her? Also yes. She's not innocent, but it's still my fault as well. I agree that the best thing is to leave ..but it's not always in the best interest of the children.. so.. for the children. sometimes it's best to try to keep it 'civil'... Thing is.. also.. the partner is not always 'crap'... sometimes it's only boredom, over the years.. the partners remain best friends but the sexual 'sparks' are gone.. the rest is intact.. Also, I just can't wrap my head around the idea that people think that 2 people CAN live together for a whole lifetime.. it's insane IMO. When we date.. we date for a few years, then we split.. date another person.. etc... why is it that when 2 people get married that, undeniably, they have found their 'soulmates' (which I don't believe)... it's completely crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I think it is often forgotten that it takes two people to make an R work. If someone cheats, it's generally because they are missing something. Course, they shouldn't cheat, not at all. And justifying it with such reasons, is terribly selfish. I wouldn't justify my actions with 'well, you were crap to me', in fact, if he were so crap to me, I'd leave and then have a good time. I cheated because I was stupid, and downright low. Nothing to do with my partner, if it were, it wouldn't have been cheating. I wouldn't have been in the R. I hope you don't think so low of yourself to think that you could ever deserve someone cheating on you, it shouldn't be like that. It should be I'm unhappy in the R, I'm leaving, not I'm unhappy in the R, I'm cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I agree that the best thing is to leave ..but it's not always in the best interest of the children.. so.. for the children. sometimes it's best to try to keep it 'civil'... Thing is.. also.. the partner is not always 'crap'... sometimes it's only boredom, over the years.. the partners remain best friends but the sexual 'sparks' are gone.. the rest is intact.. Also, I just can't wrap my head around the idea that people think that 2 people CAN live together for a whole lifetime.. it's insane IMO. When we date.. we date for a few years, then we split.. date another person.. etc... why is it that when 2 people get married that, undeniably, they have found their 'soulmates' (which I don't believe)... it's completely crazy. I agree, I don't believe in soulmates or whatever. I think people are destined to sleep around, and be with several partners (not at the same time) but society will have it that we conform to marriage and the one-partner ideal. It's a crazy notion, people get too bored, too restless, we do need that spark which always fades (no matter what the movies say) sometimes. I think we don't find soulmates, we find companions. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I was just reading Soulsearch's thread. Personally I think if I was a crap partner that made my woman feel worthless inside then I shouldn't point the finger if she cheats.. If I'm with a crap partner and she makes me feel worthless inside, I'll tell her to leave and not come back. Link to post Share on other sites
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