Working through your rage after not being chosen

[Alpha Female]

Please tell me it doesn't last long.

 

I thought I was doing better, and even told MM to leave me alone.

 

Then I snapped and spent the bulk of the day raging on him through a barrage of texts. I said it all - how I wondered how long he knew he was going to dump me and how long was he able to lie to my face about it, how he probably has a new OW already, how I hated him for turning me into this person. It just unleashed.

 

Then last night I sent a final text saying the following:

 

Heres how it is. I am in Miami and going out with friends. Tomorrow when I wake up, you will still be happily married to your gorgeous wife(LS friends - thats a dig because she is undisputably a beast to look at. Like I said, I was raging), and you wont matter to me anymore. I will have moved on. Enjoy!

 

I also was working on some business stuff for me, that he paid me for, but it occured to me that why should all of my hard work go to benefit him and his beast of a wife? I told him for him to ask me for the final work shows he has no conscience, and while he was at it, why not ask me to tell her how to give a proper blow job?

 

Full Of Rage.

 

I feel better this morning. Still angry, still sad, but I just fear an attack of rage will come back.

 

To you OW - after youve been dismissed and you have your moment with your MM about it, do you continue the anger with him? Or does it go away? I hate to think this will happen again.

[bentnotbroken]

I am assuming it doesn't go away any easier for an OW than it does for a BS. It is a process that has set backs and pitfalls. It won't end over night or a few months.

[Chrome Barracuda]

So you lost, Take the L and keep it moving!

 

It sounds like you just didnt like loosing this MM to his wife, ego damaged or broken. WTF was you doing messing with a man who was married in the first place?

 

So his wife was ugly, why the personal dig? Why the hate?

[lovekillsslowly]

Wow nice to read that someone else is as crazy as I am! LOL!!

 

I have called and left nice, sweet, "thanks for trying" - "I'll never forget you voice mails to upset, miserable, "don't ever call me again" voice mails. Same goes for text messages.

 

Half the time I feel like I'm "sybil" and I never know what personality if going to be exposed through-out the day.

 

I've been dealing with this for several months now while trying to do the "just be friends" option that he wanted.

 

Worked great for him...he got to talk to me on a daily basis and still have all his emotional needs met and then go home to his wife.

 

For me, however, it didn't work well at all because I continued to hold out hope with each phone call that he would tell me what I longed to hear....that he was sorry and that he wanted another chance with "us".

 

I waited for 11 months to hear him say that but this time it never happened.

 

I'm trying really hard to do NC and just move on but the emotions that are "raging" through me at any given moment are all over the page.

 

The one that gets to me the most though is the one where I feel bad!! I feel like I should call him up and apologize for being emotional!!! WTF????? I'm the one who KNEW what I wanted for the whole 10 months we were together!!! I'm the one who

NEVER swayed from my feelings for him!!! I'm the one who waited for him for EIGHT YEARS to give "us" a chance!!!

 

Why in the sam hell do I EVER get to feeling like I SHOULD apologize to him?!?!?! Am I THAT pathetic and think THAT LITTLE of myself that I honestly believe I should call him and apologize????!!!! And WHY would I even think for ONE MILLISECOND that I should apologize???? So he will not think that I hate him???? So that he will know that I still care????

 

Gawd I need mental help!!!!

[learnfrommymistakes]

OMG lovekillslowly

DITTO DITTO DITTO

Feel exact same way, sybil. he thinks so too. Cant understand how I can be lovely, ego boosting and then accuse him of this or that. He wants the sex kitten, fun gal, not the deep stuff or adult stuff....

 

I do same thing, once I upset him by asking him a question I feel badly and apologize, like I did something wrong..which is insane....lol

 

ALL I can say is I feel exactly what you do, man does this ring true for me as well.

lfmm

[RedDevil66]

When the guy I was cheating with (MM means MY married man and he was NOT mine), in any case, when the guy I was cheating with "dropped" me for his amazing wife, I had dignity and walked away with class.

 

Leave him alone and regain your dignity

[ladydesigner]

When the guy I was cheating with (MM means MY married man and he's not YOURS), in any case, when the guy I was cheating with "dropped" me for his amazing wife, I had dignity and walked away with class.

 

Leave him alone and regain your dignity

 

What she said Walk away with dignity and remain NC no matter what. I read in another forum and I had to chuckle when I read it but it is so true: There isn't a clearer way of saying F**k You than NC.

[MaureyL]

This is exactly where I am at the moment! I had a series of angry texts when we were LC and just "friends" and to stop them/shut me up he 'fessed up and said "his feelings for me had changed and he was sorry because he knew that I still loved him."

 

Well.

 

Then things went on in EXACTLY the same vein as they had before until I had enough and called time on it. I told him that I had met someone else (true) and I never contacted him again. He called me at the end of July to see how I was doing and to find out if we could be in closer contact with one another again. I asked him why he was calling and if his girlfriend knew he was speaking to me and he said he "thought that he was going to tell her (yeah sure)". He hasn't called since and I don't expect to hear from him again.

 

I am mad too-- in a way it seems so unfair that I cried in my pillow every night, waiting up through the night for texts or a phone call while he went off to an amazing new life on a tropical island (I'm not joking here) with his loyal and devoted girlfriend and her father and step mom whom I know he adores. I wasn't a bit surprised to find out that after his training finished, he applied to stay on permanently-- so much for teaching the challenging inner city youth (the kind of school I work in and where we met). No doubt he has a lovely, stress free job on a stunning beach where he and his girlfriend will raise their children in peace and harmony.

 

The whole thing makes me want to puke. Then I would like to punch him. Hard.

 

My favorite fantasy is getting in touch with his girlfriend via Facebook (I'm not a friend obviously but I can leave a message) about asking her to tell him to leave me alone. But I will never do that. I have my pride, after all.

 

xxx

[Morelikeher]

There isn't a clearer way of saying F**k You than NC.

 

When my xMM told me he was going back to his W, I can still remember slamming my front door in his face. I sent some lovely texts after that (that day). I stayed NC until three weeks later, after receiving some unusual texts (from him supposedly), I did text him back. THEN his W called me back from his phone. That was it for me.

 

Since then, I have maintained NC. And, yes I really, really rage some days. I never had the opportunity to tell him off. I don't text, call, email - I write it down or I come here and lurk for a while.

 

Anytime I want to contact him, I just think about how humiliated I was the last time I tried it. I am proud of myself. I have maintained it somehow.

 

Sometimes I think NC makes it worse - I think I obsess about him waaaay too much. I think a lot of it is me trying to make sense of things. I never asked him why - although, I'm sure I'll never understand it.

 

I hope it does get better in time. I have good days and bad days.

[whatisgoingon]

Please tell me it doesn't last long.

 

I thought I was doing better, and even told MM to leave me alone.

 

Then I snapped and spent the bulk of the day raging on him through a barrage of texts. I said it all - how I wondered how long he knew he was going to dump me and how long was he able to lie to my face about it, how he probably has a new OW already, how I hated him for turning me into this person. It just unleashed.

 

Then last night I sent a final text saying the following:

 

Heres how it is. I am in Miami and going out with friends. Tomorrow when I wake up, you will still be happily married to your gorgeous wife(LS friends - thats a dig because she is undisputably a beast to look at. Like I said, I was raging), and you wont matter to me anymore. I will have moved on. Enjoy!

 

I also was working on some business stuff for me, that he paid me for, but it occured to me that why should all of my hard work go to benefit him and his beast of a wife? I told him for him to ask me for the final work shows he has no conscience, and while he was at it, why not ask me to tell her how to give a proper blow job?

 

Full Of Rage.

 

I feel better this morning. Still angry, still sad, but I just fear an attack of rage will come back.

 

To you OW - after youve been dismissed and you have your moment with your MM about it, do you continue the anger with him? Or does it go away? I hate to think this will happen again.

 

 

I also did the same sort of thing to my MM and he told his best friend who knew about us that he is married to a psycho doesnt want another one...LOL

[Alpha Female]

Wow nice to read that someone else is as crazy as I am! LOL!!

 

I have called and left nice, sweet, "thanks for trying" - "I'll never forget you voice mails to upset, miserable, "don't ever call me again" voice mails. Same goes for text messages.

 

Half the time I feel like I'm "sybil" and I never know what personality if going to be exposed through-out the day.

 

I've been dealing with this for several months now while trying to do the "just be friends" option that he wanted.

 

Worked great for him...he got to talk to me on a daily basis and still have all his emotional needs met and then go home to his wife.

 

For me, however, it didn't work well at all because I continued to hold out hope with each phone call that he would tell me what I longed to hear....that he was sorry and that he wanted another chance with "us".

 

I waited for 11 months to hear him say that but this time it never happened.

 

I'm trying really hard to do NC and just move on but the emotions that are "raging" through me at any given moment are all over the page.

 

The one that gets to me the most though is the one where I feel bad!! I feel like I should call him up and apologize for being emotional!!! WTF????? I'm the one who KNEW what I wanted for the whole 10 months we were together!!! I'm the one who

NEVER swayed from my feelings for him!!! I'm the one who waited for him for EIGHT YEARS to give "us" a chance!!!

 

Why in the sam hell do I EVER get to feeling like I SHOULD apologize to him?!?!?! Am I THAT pathetic and think THAT LITTLE of myself that I honestly believe I should call him and apologize????!!!! And WHY would I even think for ONE MILLISECOND that I should apologize???? So he will not think that I hate him???? So that he will know that I still care????

 

Gawd I need mental help!!!!

 

LOL. No, you don't need mental help. We are all just working through the anger and rage caused when WE were honest about our intentions, and our MM's lied their asses off to our faces. Who wouldnt be upset and emotional? I wont apologize for the things Ive said to him. If anything, it has helped get it out, and I think he needed to know what he did, and the fallout it caused. He is the one who went back on his word and lied. Not me.

 

What she said Walk away with dignity and remain NC no matter what. I read in another forum and I had to chuckle when I read it but it is so true: There isn't a clearer way of saying F**k You than NC.

 

This is so true. I think the opposite of love isnt hate, its indifference. I raged severely on him on Tuesday, and had NC yesterday and today, and plan on continuing on. I told him I would wake up on Wednesday and he wouldnt matter to me anymore. And I think getting it all out and saying all I wanted to really helped the healing. Now I feel like I can move on. And yes, the NC is the ultimate FU.

 

This is exactly where I am at the moment! I had a series of angry texts when we were LC and just "friends" and to stop them/shut me up he 'fessed up and said "his feelings for me had changed and he was sorry because he knew that I still loved him."

 

Well.

 

Then things went on in EXACTLY the same vein as they had before until I had enough and called time on it. I told him that I had met someone else (true) and I never contacted him again. He called me at the end of July to see how I was doing and to find out if we could be in closer contact with one another again. I asked him why he was calling and if his girlfriend knew he was speaking to me and he said he "thought that he was going to tell her (yeah sure)". He hasn't called since and I don't expect to hear from him again.

 

I am mad too-- in a way it seems so unfair that I cried in my pillow every night, waiting up through the night for texts or a phone call while he went off to an amazing new life on a tropical island (I'm not joking here) with his loyal and devoted girlfriend and her father and step mom whom I know he adores. I wasn't a bit surprised to find out that after his training finished, he applied to stay on permanently-- so much for teaching the challenging inner city youth (the kind of school I work in and where we met). No doubt he has a lovely, stress free job on a stunning beach where he and his girlfriend will raise their children in peace and harmony.

 

The whole thing makes me want to puke. Then I would like to punch him. Hard.

 

My favorite fantasy is getting in touch with his girlfriend via Facebook (I'm not a friend obviously but I can leave a message) about asking her to tell him to leave me alone. But I will never do that. I have my pride, after all.

 

xxx

 

Wow. He really twisted the knife.

 

I like your fantasy, though. Sometimes I think about telling his W, but Im sure she still wouldnt leave him, and it probably wouldnt cause any fallout for him, but Im sure shed bring me a boat load of drama, though. She has a history of confronting his OW (well the only other one he had and she was told about) yet she seems to be OK with his having affairs (he claims to talk his way out of them but as a woman, she has to know hes full of crap). So their M is one where he will continue to have affairs because he doesnt want to be with her but doesnt have the balls to leave, and she will continue to tolerate his cheating because she is a desperate doormat.

 

 

There isn't a clearer way of saying F**k You than NC.

 

When my xMM told me he was going back to his W, I can still remember slamming my front door in his face. I sent some lovely texts after that (that day). I stayed NC until three weeks later, after receiving some unusual texts (from him supposedly), I did text him back. THEN his W called me back from his phone. That was it for me.

 

Since then, I have maintained NC. And, yes I really, really rage some days. I never had the opportunity to tell him off. I don't text, call, email - I write it down or I come here and lurk for a while.

 

Anytime I want to contact him, I just think about how humiliated I was the last time I tried it. I am proud of myself. I have maintained it somehow.

 

Sometimes I think NC makes it worse - I think I obsess about him waaaay too much. I think a lot of it is me trying to make sense of things. I never asked him why - although, I'm sure I'll never understand it.

 

I hope it does get better in time. I have good days and bad days.

 

You sound like your staying strong. Despite not having the opportunity to tell him off properly. I really think you got cheated out of that, as I think when someone lies and breaks promises, they deserve to know what they left behind.

 

I also did the same sort of thing to my MM and he told his best friend who knew about us that he is married to a psycho doesnt want another one...LOL

 

What a dick. Really. He dumps you, breaks your heart, then complains your "psycho" because you shared your pain that he caused. These guys are unreal.

[In_Repair]

Do your venting and then just walk away. Don't let them have that power over you. Besides, you should have expected this when you got involved with a married person. I'm an OM myself, so I'm not trying to preach or anything, I just think that getting thrown under the bus should be somewhat expected by anyone in our situation.

[Mr. Lucky]

I also was working on some business stuff for me, that he paid me for, but it occured to me that why should all of my hard work go to benefit him and his beast of a wife? I told him for him to ask me for the final work shows he has no conscience, and while he was at it, why not ask me to tell her how to give a proper blow job?

What does the fact that he hired and paid you to do a job have to do with the affair?

 

Mr. Lucky

[Alpha Female]

What does the fact that he hired and paid you to do a job have to do with the affair?

 

Mr. Lucky

 

He didnt hire me and pay me for anything. He asked me to help him with some business stuff which meant I did all the work I did all the writing I hired the vendors I managed the projects, etc. He had completely no involvement in it, and he didnt pay me one dime for any of the work I did. Which took me months to complete. I laid out a lot of money to pay the vendors and he reimbursed me last weekend. But, since he has since dumped me, I have a hard time rationalizing how all of my months of hard work helping him free of charge should now go to benefit him and his friggin W. Even if he had to pay the vendors for the completed work, it was still all my efforts 150% that made it happen.

 

And yep Im going to be a petty b*tch on this one. Just like people tell me I should have expected to get dumped no matter what he told me because thats what the situation commands, then he should expect me to be small and petty enough to not turn over my hard work at this point because he brought this on himself.

[Alpha Female]

Do your venting and then just walk away. Don't let them have that power over you. Besides, you should have expected this when you got involved with a married person. I'm an OM myself, so I'm not trying to preach or anything, I just think that getting thrown under the bus should be somewhat expected by anyone in our situation.

 

Sorry, I dont agree with this at all.

 

Your saying that since I knowingly got involved with a MM, that I deserved to be lied to? That I deserved to have him make promises that he would break?

 

Not buying it.

 

I had an affair with a MM about 10 years ago that lasted almost a year. He never once told me he was leaving his W, he never once told me he loved me, and he never once made me promises he ended up breaking.

 

Just because we get involved with married people doesnt mean we should expect nor deserve to be lied to. Being a cheat is one thing, but being a liar is another.

[In_Repair]

Sorry, I dont agree with this at all.

 

Your saying that since I knowingly got involved with a MM, that I deserved to be lied to? That I deserved to have him make promises that he would break?

 

Not buying it.

 

I had an affair with a MM about 10 years ago that lasted almost a year. He never once told me he was leaving his W, he never once told me he loved me, and he never once made me promises he ended up breaking.

 

Just because we get involved with married people doesnt mean we should expect nor deserve to be lied to. Being a cheat is one thing, but being a liar is another.

 

No, I did not say that you deserved it. That is twisting my message somewhat. You should have expected it. I think a smoker should expect to have respiratory problems later in life. That does not mean I think they would deserve to get cancer and die an early death. You should expect your vices and secrets to come back and bite you in the ass. It keeps you on your toes and helps maintain a proper perspective.

 

Being a cheat requires you to be a liar, if your spouse is involved in your life at all. If they are willing to lie to the person that they stood with, in front of god and every person important to them, and pledged their everlasting love to... then you should NEVER assume they wouldn't do the same to you. Save the blind love crap for AFTER they get divorced. Until then, at the end of the day, we are just a piece of action on the side.

[Alpha Female]

No, I did not say that you deserved it. That is twisting my message somewhat. You should have expected it. I think a smoker should expect to have respiratory problems later in life. That does not mean I think they would deserve to get cancer and die an early death. You should expect your vices and secrets to come back and bite you in the ass. It keeps you on your toes and helps maintain a proper perspective.

 

Being a cheat requires you to be a liar, if your spouse is involved in your life at all. If they are willing to lie to the person that they stood with, in front of god and every person important to them, and pledged their everlasting love to... then you should NEVER assume they wouldn't do the same to you. Save the blind love crap for AFTER they get divorced. Until then, at the end of the day, we are just a piece of action on the side.

 

Oh I still dont agree. When you want to call it expected or deserved. I dont think this is implied with getting involved with someone married.

 

Many married people who have affairs are quite honest with their AP in saying they will never leave their spouse. In that case, the OP has the ability to make a choice if they still want to stay involved, even if they know they will all be a side dish.

 

But, when the MP lies and makes promises they never keep, that is not an expected by-product. Not for a second do I believe that.

 

As I said - being a cheat is one thing. I knew he was a cheat. But I didnt know he was lying to me for months on top of it. And he doesnt get a pass for the blame just because hes married and according to you, I should have expected this to happen.

 

He still had a choice in his affair with me. He could have sacked up and told me he had feelings for me, but would never leave his W. Instead, making plans with me for months on our future, planning on moving in, swearing over and over we would be together and he would leave is most definitely not an expected outcome. Those were all very willful and deceptive actions.

 

Unless you are making the point that all people who cheat are scumbags and should never be believed to begin with, and I might tend to support that today. ha ha

[In_Repair]

No, they aren't all scumbags. For whatever reason though, they are doing the wrong thing by dragging out the affair. If he loves you and wanted to be with just you... he would. That's just the plain truth, and there is no way to justify or side step it.

 

My MW is one of those that has never given me false hope, and I appreciate that. I tell her so. I'd stop seeing her if she started lying to me about it. She has told me that she wants to be with me, but she has made no promises and I have asked for none. Once she tells me she is leaving, she either leaves or we stop seeing each other. I love her and I want to be with her. I'd stop talking to all other women and be with her and only her... if and when she shows me that she is willing to do the same. The only way to do that is to leave her marriage and tell her husband about me. Until she does that, what am I? That's right, I'm just a piece of action on the side, no matter how glorified.

[Mr. Lucky]

He didnt hire me and pay me for anything. He asked me to help him with some business stuff which meant I did all the work I did all the writing I hired the vendors I managed the projects, etc. He had completely no involvement in it, and he didnt pay me one dime for any of the work I did. Which took me months to complete. I laid out a lot of money to pay the vendors and he reimbursed me last weekend. But, since he has since dumped me, I have a hard time rationalizing how all of my months of hard work helping him free of charge should now go to benefit him and his friggin W. Even if he had to pay the vendors for the completed work, it was still all my efforts 150% that made it happen.

 

And yep Im going to be a petty b*tch on this one. Just like people tell me I should have expected to get dumped no matter what he told me because thats what the situation commands, then he should expect me to be small and petty enough to not turn over my hard work at this point because he brought this on himself.

Ah, that's different than I thought. Doesn't seem like you owe him anything.

Just because we get involved with married people doesnt mean we should expect nor deserve to be lied to. Being a cheat is one thing, but being a liar is another.

AF, you seem like a pretty sharp cookie. Why would you assume that he would be truthful with you when you know he's lying to his wife ?

 

Mr. Lucky

[Alpha Female]

Ah, that's different than I thought. Doesn't seem like you owe him anything.

 

AF, you seem like a pretty sharp cookie. Why would you assume that he would be truthful with you when you know he's lying to his wife ?

 

Mr. Lucky

 

OK, you can stop making sense and asserting the obvious.

 

Thank you for supporting I don't owe him anything. Part of me feels crappy about pulling this from him, since he paid for it all, but since I was the one who did all the work, and all he did was reimburse me for what I paid the suppliers, I want to be petty and small about it. Yes I do. ha ha

 

I suppose I believed him because I wanted to believe him. Because I fell in love, and I wanted to believe he loved me as much as I did him, and that I had finally found someone I could really be with. Because I thought I/we were different. Because I took a risk for love.

 

Also, because I think people, regardless of marital status, are capable of being truthful or lying. I don't think being single guarantees honesty, and I don't think having an affair ensures lies. I like to think that we all have a choice to make every day on who we want to be and how we want to live.

[Mr. Lucky]

Also, because I think people, regardless of marital status, are capable of being truthful or lying. I don't think being single guarantees honesty, and I don't think having an affair ensures lies. I like to think that we all have a choice to make every day on who we want to be and how we want to live.

Hard to disagree. But we're not talking generalities, this is a specific person whose conduct you're able to place in the context of how he interacts with someone else important to him. Just seems like a pretty clear "tell", if you know what I mean . I'm just surprised that you were surprised...

 

Mr. Lucky

[RedDevil66]

Sorry, I dont agree with this at all.

 

Your saying that since I knowingly got involved with a MM, that I deserved to be lied to? That I deserved to have him make promises that he would break?

 

Not buying it.

 

I had an affair with a MM about 10 years ago that lasted almost a year. He never once told me he was leaving his W, he never once told me he loved me, and he never once made me promises he ended up breaking.

 

Just because we get involved with married people doesnt mean we should expect nor deserve to be lied to. Being a cheat is one thing, but being a liar is another.

 

Umm, no it's not!

 

And yes, you did deserve to be lied to, just like these MM you sleep with lie to their wives.

It's ok that they lie to the wife and not you?

[Spark1111]

I believe three people in a triangle, three people get hurt and the rage the OW and BS feel are very, very similiar.

 

In some regard, we were both lied to: You had expectation of a future together with someone you loved.

 

So did I.

 

You hoped once he left his relationship and committed to you, you would trust him to always be honest with you.

 

So did I.

 

When he lied to you, and threw your relationship under the bus, he did that to me the first time he kissed, held, and told you he loved you.

 

 

He minimized me to you, telling you all sorts of things so you would think less of me or our relationship. I think you needed to believe it to have an affair with a married man.

 

He now minimizes you, to me, but I don't believe it.

 

I understand your rage and have compassion for you in not being chosen by him.

 

Please have compassion for mine. He chose me, but my rage is just as great.

 

I love him, but trust me, he is no prize worth competing over.

 

A strong man wouldn't do this to the women he loved. Only a weak one would. And that;s who we both fell in love with.

[moaningmyrtle]

I believe three people in a triangle, three people get hurt and the rage the OW and BS feel are very, very similiar.

 

In some regard, we were both lied to: You had expectation of a future together with someone you loved.

 

So did I.

 

You hoped once he left his relationship and committed to you, you would trust him to always be honest with you.

 

So did I.

 

When he lied to you, and threw your relationship under the bus, he did that to me the first time he kissed, held, and told you he loved you.

 

 

He minimized me to you, telling you all sorts of things so you would think less of me or our relationship. I think you needed to believe it to have an affair with a married man.

 

He now minimizes you, to me, but I don't believe it.

 

I understand your rage and have compassion for you in not being chosen by him.

 

Please have compassion for mine. He chose me, but my rage is just as great.

 

I love him, but trust me, he is no prize worth competing over.

 

A strong man wouldn't do this to the women he loved. Only a weak one would. And that;s who we both fell in love with.

 

I agree - well said.

[Alpha Female]

It's ok that they lie to the wife and not you?

 

I wasnt the one who made a commitment to his W though. So in a way, how he handled her and what he told her was his thing. I never told him how to treat her or what to tell her. I honestly have very little knowledge of their dynamic, as he wasnt a MM who spent time talking about her. In fact, she was discussed less than 1% of the time we were together.

 

I believe three people in a triangle, three people get hurt and the rage the OW and BS feel are very, very similiar.

 

In some regard, we were both lied to: You had expectation of a future together with someone you loved.

 

So did I.

 

You hoped once he left his relationship and committed to you, you would trust him to always be honest with you.

 

So did I.

 

When he lied to you, and threw your relationship under the bus, he did that to me the first time he kissed, held, and told you he loved you.

 

 

He minimized me to you, telling you all sorts of things so you would think less of me or our relationship. I think you needed to believe it to have an affair with a married man.

 

He now minimizes you, to me, but I don't believe it.

 

I understand your rage and have compassion for you in not being chosen by him.

 

Please have compassion for mine. He chose me, but my rage is just as great.

 

I love him, but trust me, he is no prize worth competing over.

 

A strong man wouldn't do this to the women he loved. Only a weak one would. And that;s who we both fell in love with.

 

Thanks Spark. I really appreciate these words.

 

Its funny. I wanted him to be mine for months. And now thats it over, I have to think I was crazy to want someone like him. And I know his W knows about his affairs, and it makes me pity her, because I have to think how horrible it must be for her to know he was dogging around and that hes going to do it again. That must be terrible to live with.

 

Thanks for a BS perspective that was not accusatory and nasty. It was insightful and honest.