RJ Posted December 8, 2003 Share Posted December 8, 2003 Looking for the best way to get her to talk without appearing needy Post: 1 | Quote: Alright I'm new here so be gentle please My fiancee and I just broke it off a week ago. To be more exact she broke it off. She's a Doctor by profession and I'm a University student. There are 5 years between us. We were together A year short 5 days when she broke it off. It hit me out of the blue no warning signs nothing. I'd been very busy with studying and she'd been on call a lot. She states that she'd been thinking about it for awhile and stated her reasons as outlined below. 1) Feels I'm a little clingy at times 2) Wants to feel like I'm the other half and that I want to better myself 3) A sense of direction for school...I've changed my major 3 times now and I've just made a change for our future together. 4) thinks I'm dependant on her. I dont' let her pay for anything really and it's not like she laid out lavish presents for me, she feels I'm emotionally dependant on her...prolly a little true since I'm a mess right now 5) School worries translate into money worries for the future. So here's my dilema it's a week old and I have times of complete devestation and times that I'm level headed and can think reasonably. I haven't called her at all. She's called me Twice, 1st time after 6 days, 2nd time after 7 days to with me good luck on an exam I'm writing today. I want to know now that I'm done my exams how do I get this woman back. I've never been so in love in my life. I don't really know how to address the issues above without the benefit of time. So I want to not break up and for her to give me the opportunity to show her I am the man she fell in love with. How do I do this without making her angry? I've not sent flowers but I did drop off a hand written letter of how I felt about the situation and what things I thought we could do to fix her concerns 6 days after the break up. If anyone also has the e-book This side of goodbye" and wouldn't mind sending it me I'd totally appreciate it. I really want to spend the rest of my life with her and the thought that she doesn't think she can with me now is killing me. Thanks in Advance Link to post Share on other sites
Adonaicole Posted December 8, 2003 Share Posted December 8, 2003 Be her friend, love her unconditionally, make her laugh. Don't focus on what you have no control over. Focus on what you can do to be desirable, get your life together and have fun. Do something that you enjoy. If you are happy and balanced, your chances of getting back with her will be much greater. Link to post Share on other sites
maxmuscle Posted December 8, 2003 Share Posted December 8, 2003 RJ, Give her time to reflect on the realtionship and to look at the big picture. Do not waste your time mourning and weeping for her to come back. Its not going to get you anywhere with her. In fact do the opposite. When you are around her act happy with no regrets, eventhough, you might be hurting very badly inside. Give her time and space. The less you contact her the more valuable you will make youerself look in her eyes. You need to throw cold water on her by acting like you are not affected by her decision. She will then start to reconsider her decision. It may take weeks or months, but you still have to give her time. Please, DO NOT SHOW YOUR EX YOU ARE SUFFERING. She expects it! This is how you take control over the situation. Aslo cut off all emails, phone calls, personal visit to a bare minimum. I hope you take this advice because it works majority of the times. Link to post Share on other sites
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