Am I an addict?

[spookie]

Would I experience real benefits if I quit?

 

Ugh, the pro/con list's so huge.

 

Today's pro: I was HOMICIDALLY PISSED before I smoked, but now, I'm calmer. More willing to evaluate the situation under rational circumstances, and with a grain or two, of salt.

 

And what about the adderall? The coffee?

 

My substance abuse goes like this:

In the morning, drive to work totally sober!!! Chug three 16-oz cups of coffee as soon as I get there, and pop half a pill an hour in.

 

Drink plenty of water all day to stay hydrated.

 

Come home, smoke... and smoke... and smoke... and then go running, smoke again, take a shower, and go to sleep.

 

My running is my sole healthy habit, but I can only do it high. And the weed is the only thing keeping my sleep schedule regular, also. Not to mention, it helps with my anger management problems.....

 

What the h!3l should I do?

 

Should I quit? Quit what? Everything? (I keep coming back to this EVERY time I smoke.... it always seems like such a magical idea. However, each time I try, I do too much binge drinking.)

 

There's a way, though; surely. I am considering giving myself permission to adopt two other addictions, in place: televsion AND internet! (Right now, I have neither, except for the sliver I found in my kitchen that lets me make posts!)

 

However, is that so much better?

 

Thoughts?

[BCCA]

I can relate, long time pot smoker myself.

 

The problem with weed addicition is that you arent going to be living in a box and turning tricks for it, so its often overlooked as a source of real life problems. But look at you - you were totally pissed UNTIL you smoked some weed. This, my friend, is not healthy. Youre not dealing with the causes of your problems, your smoking them away.

 

The coffee and adderall arent real good for your heart, and can put a lot of extra stress on it and your veins/organs. You should really scale that down.

 

Im wondering if you go in a cycle of waking yourself way up in the morning, and putting yourself to bed at night with the pot.

[spookie]

I can relate, long time pot smoker myself.

 

The problem with weed addicition is that you arent going to be living in a box and turning tricks for it, so its often overlooked as a source of real life problems. But look at you - you were totally pissed UNTIL you smoked some weed. This, my friend, is not healthy. Youre not dealing with the causes of your problems, your smoking them away.

 

The coffee and adderall arent real good for your heart, and can put a lot of extra stress on it and your veins/organs. You should really scale that down.

 

Im wondering if you go in a cycle of waking yourself way up in the morning, and putting yourself to bed at night with the pot.

 

Yes, definitely, that cycle is called my life.

 

Without those substances, I fall apart! All my life, I was an underacheiever. Now that I've learned to self-medicate, I'm doing pretty well; it's the fact of hating myself sober that I'm struggling with.