Boyfriend needs suggestions!!!

[1994]

I've been in a long distance relationship for about 4 months. We only live about 40 mins away. We see each other on the weekends. I tend to cause a lot of our problems.

 

I've always been sarcastic. For example, one time we were entering the store and I was like I hope we don't see your ex bf, and she got mad about that.

 

It seems like everything I say offends her or annoys her. I've pretty much stopped being sarcastic.

 

I'm not really jealous or insecure but this relationship has brought that side of me out. I trust her, and believe everything she tells me. Just the other day this caused a fight between us. I didn't accuse her of anything. I just wanted to know what happened, but she seemed deceptive. She changed the subject really quick, so that grabbed my attention because in the past she usually tells me what she did. She was working on her school project and at first she told me it was with her female classmate. Later on she told me her other male class mate was there too. I didn't have a problem with a guy being there I had a problem that she was not being forth coming on the events.

 

For the record, she has done several projects with classmates including males, and I've never given those situations a second thought.

 

As I stated earlier we only see each other on the weekends and talk everyday. We have lot's of things in common and in a way we are pretty much alike. We are still getting to know each other and we are learning how we are.

 

She lives with her parents. She's 25 and 31. We were sitting on the couch and her mom was like make him breakfast. She didn't even bother to make me breakfast, so after this we went out to eat. She has the attitude it's her way or the highway, and in the past she has told me to deal with it if I don't like it. This past weekend she made me breakfast, and because I decided to stay in her room she got mad at me for that. We even broke up over it. I told her I didn't expect her to make me breakfast or change.

 

I tend to hurt her feelings about once a week. I'm not talking about being verbally abusive or accusing her of cheating on me. We have talked about breaking up, but we just can't do it because we both love each other.

 

She has given me 3 more chances, and I only have 2 left.

I feel like she wants me to be perfect. I don't think I can be perfect.

I think before I talk, but sometimes I forget and say something sarcastic which I think it's funny and she gets mad.

 

I'm tired of hurting her feelings. If I don't stop our relationship is pretty much over. In a way I hope we break up because I'm just tired of hurting her, but I want us to be happy.

 

Anyone have any suggestions how I can be the perfect boyfriend?

[Mr-T]

To be honest buddy I think your better off out of it. If your not right the way you are then you should not have to change for her. Relationships are about compromise and its a case of you both have to make them.

 

When I met my wife, I was sure as hell that I was going to be myself because in the past I have tried to change to be the right person for the woman I was with at the time, after a while I started resenting myself for it because I felt that all my feelings were being forced and when I actually looked inside myself they were.

 

Its better that you just be yourself in a relationship or you will regret it at a later date.

 

EDIT - I dont think this deserves to be in an abuse forum. Its not abuse.

Edited November 6, 2009 by Mr-T