superman Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 Ok so this week my ex-girlfriend will graduate. This is the time where our relationship was really supposed to be taking off. I was going to move up with her or we were going to relocate. All of those sort of things. We took the break back in October (after she kept reassuring me all month that it would all be down hill from there because December was so near) and have not talked for almost a month. Call me crazy, insane, what ever but I emailed her on Friday because of what my horoscope said (sometimes all we need is a little nudge). I kept it very short and simple. Just a, "hey haven't heard from you in awhile and wanted to know how you are doing." She replied promptly letting me know what she was up too and asked me the same. That is the only contact we have had in 4 weeks. I want to send her a card for graduation letter her know how proud I am of her for being the first in her family to graduate from a 4 year university. I would also like to ask her if I could take her to dinner (if and when she is ready- Up To Her). Is this a good idea? Should I just send a card and that's it? Should I not do anything? Need some advice. What do you think the outcome will be from the different scenarios? I know that subconsciously I want to get her to want me back. But in all honestly right now I just want to reconnect with her on a communication level. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 9, 2003 Share Posted December 9, 2003 Unless you ask her....you'll never know. I think a card with a casual note saying you would like to take her out to dinner as a congratulation for her achievement...is perfectly acceptable.....given the situation. Then wait to see what her response is. Good Luck Superman.....I hope all goes well. Link to post Share on other sites
NotaBadGuy Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 Superman, I would have to agree with Arabess. Gradution from college is an important achievement in and of itself. To be the first in your family is even more of an achievement. The key is for you to not do it for the wrong reasons (i.e. thinking that this might get her back). She apparently needs whatever space she feels she needs. To congratulate her for her accomplishment is one thing, but to have alterior motives is another. As it appears, the ball is in her court if the relationship is to resume. Like I said, I do not see anything wrong with congratulating her, but make sure to check your motives for doing so. If she sees you still care enough to acknowldge her accomplishment, maybe she might want to have more contact with you. But do not force this decision on her. Make the choice hers. I think, in the end, this will have better results. But then again, I am in a situation myself that I cannot figure out. Just my two cents. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author superman Posted December 10, 2003 Author Share Posted December 10, 2003 I agree with everything you said. And in all honesty I do just want to congatulate her and I want to be a part of this milestone in her life. I also can honestly say that I do want her to reconnect with the way she used to feel by going to dinner with me. But I am realistic in going into this. I do not expect her to fall in love all over again in one dinner. But in order for that to ever happen communication must be reopened. That is what I really want out of all of this. I just want her to feel more comfortable about being able to call and talk to me without me getting hurt. I want to show her that I am strong. I feel like I am moving in the right direction. If I decide to ask her it will be completely based on her decision. And I will not expect an answer right away. Link to post Share on other sites
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