angelface78 Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 (edited) Today is 30 days NC since i broke my 3 months NC and called his dumb a**!! Its been 4months since the breakup and ive been on the emotional rollercoaster as we all have. Now at 4 months post break up im no longer sad....but i am sooo angry!!! Not only that but i feel vengeful...something that is totally out of character for me. Throughout the relationship i was always the bigger person. When we had fights i always stepped up and apologized and tried to fix things. I have never wished him any harm but now i am soo angry. Its like i want something bad to happen to him! Nothing really bad..life threatening or anything like that. Just something to piss him off...like maybe his pretty little black BMW getting scratched like crazy!!! I feel like driving over to his house while he sleeps and scratching that f***** car!! This car is his pride and joy. I know these feelings are wrong. Ive been praying to God to take these bad thoughts out of my mind!! I know it is not my place to try to make justice. I just feel that its so unfair how i was always there for him...taking his crap, forgiving time and time again. Only for him to throw away 5 years and an engagement for some dumb 19 year old girl!!! He is still with this girl and is probably happy. Its not fair!!! Im so angry and dont want to feel vengeful because i know its wrong!!! It just makes me mad that i was the bigger person till the very end and in the end i have suffered sooo much and its like he got rewarded!!! ITS NOT FAIR!! Edited November 6, 2009 by angelface78 Link to post Share on other sites
NoneoftheAbove Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 I feel your pain angel, i was like you gave her everything put her above when times were hard i was there and tried to make her happy. But we gotta realize that these people are no good for us and they will never be, i hope you get yourself together soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelface78 Posted November 6, 2009 Author Share Posted November 6, 2009 Thanks Noneoftheabove.. I know he is no good but why is it that bad people that hurt others always get all the breaks, and good people who forgive, treat others with respect and take the high road always suffer??? Link to post Share on other sites
Patrice Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Let's just say that time takes care of this - keep taking the high road ... you have to live with yourself and what you do next month, next year and for the rest of your life. Let him go, focus on yourself - keep moving up ... Karma generally takes care of this. If for no other reason, make yourself more attractive, happier and healthier - to jumpstart that, think of how great you'll feel rubbing his face in how awesome you are. After awhile, you'll just be grooving on moving on ... hugs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelface78 Posted November 6, 2009 Author Share Posted November 6, 2009 yes Patrice..thats what everybody says that time will take care of things. Right now im just sooo angry and time is sooo slow!! lol!!! Link to post Share on other sites
caramel c Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 I feel you girl! One thing that helped me is calling a friend & telling her to role play with me. She played Idiotboy and I played myself. I cussed her out in 3 different languages & by the end of the phone call I felt better, and we both laughed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelface78 Posted November 6, 2009 Author Share Posted November 6, 2009 Caramel C. I think i will try that!! Arrrggghhhh its not going to be pretty!! Link to post Share on other sites
caramel c Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Caramel C. I think i will try that!! Arrrggghhhh its not going to be pretty!! Good, and make sure you get really loud & don't hold anything back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelface78 Posted November 6, 2009 Author Share Posted November 6, 2009 You know i did this with a guy friend of mine...back when it was 2 months post breakup. I was really hurt at the time. I had so many thing i wanted to say butdidnt want to break NC. We started role playing and i swear i got so into it i though he was my ex and even called him my ex's name and was crying uncontrollably...it was crazy!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 honey, if you can do that in three different languages, I'd be really, really impressed, as I can only manage Spanglish at best :love: look, anger is a natural reaction but you need to ask yourself if you want to be that kind of person who acts out in anger. Because when you do it the first time, you find it's easier to justify your actions a second, third or fourth time. Do you really want to allow his actions to turn you into this kind of person? as for time, the avenger, it's true. Karma's a b*tch. At some point, his sweet young thing is going to get tired of him, is going to find someone she has "more in common with" and he'll be the one left trashed by the wayside. Really and truly, isn't this sweeter "justice" than keying his car or figuring out a way to pollute his shorts with crotch crickets? caramel's idea really is a good one – I write out my anger in a letter to get it out of my system, then *boop* hit the delete key so there's no evidence of it. It's okay to pitch that hissy, but in a SAFE way. I'll have to find the link the best rant I've seen posted here, I think it was from earlier this year, I about peed my pants because it was so unintentionally funny, but still a good rant. *starts racking brain* feel free to use us as a sounding/griping board if need be. Heck, we could start a post where everyone contributes insults to your diatribe Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelface78 Posted November 6, 2009 Author Share Posted November 6, 2009 No quankanne, i do not want to be a vengeful person. Even throughout the relationship i always took the high road. After the breakup he did everything in his power to hurt me. He put headlines up on his myspace saying how happy he was with this new girl and all this fake stuff! When i broke my 3 months NC i told him to stop pretending and he just stayed quiet. I do not want to be evil like he is...and i know i will not key his car or anything. I just really hope the high road leads somewhere good cause ive been on it for a looooong time. Yes maybe i will start an insult thread for him...lol!!! I know you guys will all help me!! Link to post Share on other sites
caramel c Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 YES, when one of the languages is Arabic, its VERY effective, believe me! Also, there is nothing wrong with fantasy. You can sit there and fantasize different scenarios of him coming to his senses & crying about you wishing for you back, and him trying to get you back lets say a year from now, and to end your fantasy, you reject him because your new man is a million times better, and you feel so bad for him but there's nothing you can do...make it your own, its your fantasy. Every day you can add something else to it to make it better. Link to post Share on other sites
caramel c Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 No quankanne, i do not want to be a vengeful person. Even throughout the relationship i always took the high road. After the breakup he did everything in his power to hurt me. He put headlines up on his myspace saying how happy he was with this new girl and all this fake stuff! When i broke my 3 months NC i told him to stop pretending and he just stayed quiet. I do not want to be evil like he is...and i know i will not key his car or anything. I just really hope the high road leads somewhere good cause ive been on it for a looooong time. Yes maybe i will start an insult thread for him...lol!!! I know you guys will all help me!! Yes, I will help you for sure! Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelface78 Posted November 6, 2009 Author Share Posted November 6, 2009 In my fantasy his pretty BMW is all keyed when he wakes up to go to work. LOL!!!! OMG...i feel so bad saying these things!!! Link to post Share on other sites
caramel c Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 In my fantasy his pretty BMW is all keyed when he wakes up to go to work. LOL!!!! OMG...i feel so bad saying these things!!! It's just a fantasy, as long as you don't act on it or plan to act on it your only intention from it is to get yourself feeling better, and there isn't anything wrong with that. And, the day will come where you REALLY won't care and then all of these mean fantasies will be over, and you resume your cheerful life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelface78 Posted November 6, 2009 Author Share Posted November 6, 2009 No i will act on this..i dont have it in me. Yes i will stick to fantasy!!! thanks Caramel. Link to post Share on other sites
caramel c Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 No i will act on this..i dont have it in me. Yes i will stick to fantasy!!! thanks Caramel. Anytime! I just had a fantasy that your ex just sat down to eat at a restaurant, and found a long black hair in his food. Then, when he finally got his replacement plate & ate, he realized that he forgot to bring his wallet. He had to sit there and make phone calls for someone to come up there and bring him money. haha oh well! not your problem!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelface78 Posted November 6, 2009 Author Share Posted November 6, 2009 (edited) Hahhahahahahhaha....you are soo cute and funny!!! I want to make a thread where everyone makes mean fantasies about my ex...lol!!! You are such a sweetheart...lol!!! That made me laugh soooo hard. I can picture his dumb a** calling his sister "Vanessa im at this restaurant come over here and bring some money...i forgot my wallet and i cant pay" lol!!!! He cant call his new chick for sure cause babygirl doesnt even have a car!!!! He has to drive her everywhere AND HER 2 year old SON!!! Yes she is only 19...you do the math!!! Geez hes such a loser!! Edited November 6, 2009 by angelface78 Link to post Share on other sites
caramel c Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Hahhahahahahhaha....you are soo cute and funny!!! I want to make a thread where everyone makes mean fantasies about my ex...lol!!! You are such a sweetheart...lol!!! That made me laugh soooo hard. I can picture his dumb a** calling his sister "Vanessa im at this restaurant come over here and bring some money...i forgot my wallet and i cant pay" lol!!!! He cant call his new chick for sure cause babygirl doesnt even have a car!!!! He has to drive her everywhere AND HER 2 year old SON!!! Yes she is only 19...you do the math!!! Geez hes such a loser!! lmaoooo see this is a very likely scenario! Ok lets start a thread... Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelface78 Posted November 6, 2009 Author Share Posted November 6, 2009 ok make it for me i dont know what to say. But say its for angelface's ex...lol!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
caramel c Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Done. Enjoy! Link to post Share on other sites
Author angelface78 Posted November 6, 2009 Author Share Posted November 6, 2009 Thanks honey...you have brightened up my day Link to post Share on other sites
caramel c Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Thanks honey...you have brightened up my day Oh it was my pleasure!!! Thats all I wanted to do is make you feel better!! Link to post Share on other sites
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