Mixed signals? Other girl? What?!

[peacelovebreeze]

Hey, everyone! I really need some help..

 

I'm 18 and have never had a "serious" relationship. I've kissed a couple guys before, but it's never gone farther than that and I've never had an actual "boyfriend".

 

Anyway, last month I met this incredible guy. I'm involved in theater, and he's in a show with me.. We were talking one day at rehearsal, and he asked me to find him on MySpace so we could talk outside the theater. Okay, no biggie...

 

Well, I add him on MySpace, and he sent me a message. So I sent him one back. And we talked this way throughout the day randomly. So at some point he was like, "there's got to be a faster way to talk than through e-mails like this", so I started being a tease, and told him "well, MySpace DOES have instant messaging", and his answer was, "How about a way I can hear your voice?" so I gave him my cell number, and he called me about 3 minutes later, and we ended up on the phone for 4 hours.

 

After that, he started calling me or talking to me online daily (sometimes twice). This went on for about 2 and a half weeks.. Flirty texts, sweet voicemails, watcing movies at my house, getting food together, the whole shebang. Not ever an official date, just hanging out and talking to this guy.

 

All of a sudden "Miranda" comes into the picture. Miranda is a girl I know who is always of the opinion that guys are fawning over her, just because she lost a ton of weight. If a guy so much as talks to her, he was "all over her" (her words). Anyway, she's in the show too, and when she figured out something was starting to happen between me and "Joe", she started clinging on him and just generally being in his face.

 

Now, I'm not stupid, she's a beautiful girl. And I know that any 21 year old guy wouldn't turn away this kind of attention.. And in the past 4 days, he's suddenly just like, dropped off the face of the Earth. I see him at rehearsal and stuff, but it's really hard to talk to him when Miranda is hovering around him, and I don't know if there's something going on with them, or if he still likes me.. I mean, I knew for a while that he liked me, but he wasn't sure he wanted a relationship because he's leaving for the Naval Academy in January. And I mean, these were some HOT text messages.. Not sexting or anything like that, just suggestive and flirty... And we had a convo like that yesterday, and today... NOTHING. I'm 18 and he's 21, so he always goes to this club with a group of people from rehearsal and she goes too....

 

I'm so confused. Does anyone have any idea what's going on?!

[miss_sapphire]

Sounds like he just wants an easy lay. If he's really into you he'll let you know and not leave you wondering - especially when he's not shy to start with. If he gets distracted so easily he's not a mature enough person to be in a relationship with anyway.

[peacelovebreeze]

Thanks for the response..

 

The thing is, I know for a FACT that he doesn't flirt/text/call this other girl, because she's complained about it. She just hovers around us so we never get the chance to "talk". He's been distant for the past 3 days. This is a totally new way for him to be treating me.. Then about the second day in, I got a text from him saying that he missed me because I didn't talk to him the day before.. I'm to the point where I won't message him or call him first, just to see what's happening..

 

There was this one time last week, our director sent us into the library for a book for the show, and on our way out of the door, he told me "It's too bad he gave us a time limit to be back with this book, I could've kept you in there much longer"... So I don't know if he flirts and gets embarrassed or what!

[ADF]

Hey, everyone! I really need some help..

 

I'm 18 and have never had a "serious" relationship. I've kissed a couple guys before, but it's never gone farther than that and I've never had an actual "boyfriend".

 

Anyway, last month I met this incredible guy. I'm involved in theater, and he's in a show with me.. We were talking one day at rehearsal, and he asked me to find him on MySpace so we could talk outside the theater. Okay, no biggie...

 

Well, I add him on MySpace, and he sent me a message. So I sent him one back. And we talked this way throughout the day randomly. So at some point he was like, "there's got to be a faster way to talk than through e-mails like this", so I started being a tease, and told him "well, MySpace DOES have instant messaging", and his answer was, "How about a way I can hear your voice?" so I gave him my cell number, and he called me about 3 minutes later, and we ended up on the phone for 4 hours.

 

After that, he started calling me or talking to me online daily (sometimes twice). This went on for about 2 and a half weeks.. Flirty texts, sweet voicemails, watcing movies at my house, getting food together, the whole shebang. Not ever an official date, just hanging out and talking to this guy.

 

All of a sudden "Miranda" comes into the picture. Miranda is a girl I know who is always of the opinion that guys are fawning over her, just because she lost a ton of weight. If a guy so much as talks to her, he was "all over her" (her words). Anyway, she's in the show too, and when she figured out something was starting to happen between me and "Joe", she started clinging on him and just generally being in his face.

 

Now, I'm not stupid, she's a beautiful girl. And I know that any 21 year old guy wouldn't turn away this kind of attention.. And in the past 4 days, he's suddenly just like, dropped off the face of the Earth. I see him at rehearsal and stuff, but it's really hard to talk to him when Miranda is hovering around him, and I don't know if there's something going on with them, or if he still likes me.. I mean, I knew for a while that he liked me, but he wasn't sure he wanted a relationship because he's leaving for the Naval Academy in January. And I mean, these were some HOT text messages.. Not sexting or anything like that, just suggestive and flirty... And we had a convo like that yesterday, and today... NOTHING. I'm 18 and he's 21, so he always goes to this club with a group of people from rehearsal and she goes too....

 

I'm so confused. Does anyone have any idea what's going on?!

 

What's going on is that this guy has shifted his attention from you to Miranda. His statement about not wanting to get into a relationship because he is joining the navy sounds bogus. If a guy really likes you, that won;t stop him. I think you need to ask him point blank what his intentions are.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Some guys get off on having a woman throw themselves at them like that. His behavior suggests that he is looking for the path of least lay resistance (ie: someone he doesn't have to worry about emotional entanglements with). You won't see it now, but one day you'll look back and be glad that things went down this way.