SummerLady Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 I am just curious. Has anyone here moved far away to be with someone? Thought this would be the right topic to post. If you move to be with someone you love, do you ever escape the homesick feeling or do you get over it as you are with the person you want to be with? Any one have done this successful or unsuccessfully? Thanks The reason for my post is I am with someone that moved across country. They initially moved for their job not me but we met along the way. He sometimes is homesick, not a lot but I see it about once a month. This aspect scares me sometimes as I know he left a whole life behind. I never had this experience myself so wanted a first hand perspective from anyone that did it? Or with someone that did it. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggs Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 I'll be the one moving next year. From Canada to Scotland. Thankfully, I lived there before and have my own life carved out over there so I'm not anticipating a difficult transition. I guess it's all how he makes it. Is he sitting around and moping or getting out there and developing friendships and finding things of his own he enjoys? He's bound to have homesick days. We all do! But it's all down to how you make your life new where you are! Link to post Share on other sites
shauncytheboom Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 My now ex-girlfriend moved to be with me last winter but was overwhelmed by being away from her home and family. So much so that she wouldn't allow herself to commit to anything that would have allowed her to build a life here. It drove a huge distance between us. She wasn't working and I was in a really intensive program which accounted for most of my day time hours so I just couldn't be everything she needed and she wasn't allowing herself to put roots down. Consequently she ended up applying for a program that is offered everywhere but selected a school in her home city. I understand this completely but I had such hopes for us. I still love her but know we can't make anything work until she finishes her program and is willing to commit to a relationship again. We have been apart for six months, we still talk but its painful for me. In hindsight I wish I would have stopped her from moving to be with me. Bad timing and lack of foresight led to this. Would have been better in the long run. Bottom line she was homesick, and I was busy with what I needed to do. She didn't want here to be home and thats the way it is. I am over simplifying here but I think you get the idea. Shauncy Link to post Share on other sites
KikiW Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 I am not moving by my SO is coming here in a matter of days from the south to the north US. I am terrified he will be homesick, and he knows he will have times when he is, so we are focusing on making the transition as good as possible - like I have left parts of the apartment unfinished so we can complete the "home-y" feeling together, we already have plans to fly his mom and daughter up for the holidays, we have plans to have a housewarming party with many of my friends (who are quickly becoming his friends too)... The more someone invests time in rooting, the more comfortable they will be. It is natural to crave the familiar, so make the current situation just as familiar. Link to post Share on other sites
Ashbash11 Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I am the one who's going to be moving cross country next year to be with my SO. Frankly, I am terrified. I have never lived on the west coast, and I have no idea what to expect.. I think going there and having something to do- ie, job, internship, etc. helps.. I also think getting involved in activities-joining clubs, the gym, etc. helps, too. I am going to try to do all of these things. Luckily, I will have an internship which will keep me busy five days per week, which will hopefully prevent me from getting homesick... But, who knows? I guess it's one of those things where you never know what will happen until you try it. I"m scared to death, but I love this guy very much and we've been doing long distance for almost 2 years.. it's time. Link to post Share on other sites
Lovin a scrapper Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 I am not moving by my SO is coming here in a matter of days from the south to the north US. I am terrified he will be homesick, and he knows he will have times when he is, so we are focusing on making the transition as good as possible - like I have left parts of the apartment unfinished so we can complete the "home-y" feeling together, we already have plans to fly his mom and daughter up for the holidays, we have plans to have a housewarming party with many of my friends (who are quickly becoming his friends too)... The more someone invests time in rooting, the more comfortable they will be. It is natural to crave the familiar, so make the current situation just as familiar. First of all.....thats awesome Kiki!!!! :bunny: Im moving to be with Rayette in January and both her and I have the same homesick concerns. I have never lived outside of the midwest and this is all that I have ever known. I will be leaving my family, friends and the comfort of being close to everyone but I feel that she is so worth it. I have already met and spent lots of time with her daughters and we have gotten very close. I have gotten to meet a few of her friends and family and I like them very much and they have made me feel like a part of them already. Her other close friends and husbands are looking forward to meeting me as well. That will be very helpful. We are also going to work on a ground up BBQ catering business so that will be taking up a lot of our time and we both get to do it together which is very important to me. I think my transition should go well but we know that there will be a few bumps in the road but nothing that we cant handle if we take them on together. Link to post Share on other sites
Romance Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 I think I am going to. I think I am going to go to college near my bf next year. Not the same college AS him though, i think that'd look SO sad/desperate to all of our friends and family. Sadly. I'd move to his college in a heartbeat. It's in the same state, just 5 hours away. Link to post Share on other sites
carvidep Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 I'm going across the ocean in January for myself, to teach English in Spain. But it's also an opportunity to spend some real time in the same place as the guy I'm dating. Again, it's for me. And if it doesn't work out between us, I'll be in Spain having my own adventure, and I won't let it bring me down. ...I do really hope it works out though... I really like him a lot haha Link to post Share on other sites
nowvoyager Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 This is a really good question SummerLady. One option for me to resolve my LDR is to move to my SO's town (of course..), which is about 170 miles from my home. The big block I see is that I would be moving from a thriving diverse multicultural city, one of Australia's biggest, to a small country town, I'm frightened about the isolation, smallness, lack of culture and theatre and cuisine and all the things I'm used to. I foresee that the sheer joy of being with my SO would last a long while, but eventually I do believe I would be miserable living there. I grew up in a small town so I know that of which I speak. I think homesickness for the big city, to say nothing of friends and family, would overwhelm me. So I don't think me moving would be good for either of us. sigh. so all I can do is wait until my SO's job is up in a few years... Link to post Share on other sites
Ecosse Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 This is a really good question SummerLady. One option for me to resolve my LDR is to move to my SO's town (of course..), which is about 170 miles from my home. The big block I see is that I would be moving from a thriving diverse multicultural city, one of Australia's biggest, to a small country town, I'm frightened about the isolation, smallness, lack of culture and theatre and cuisine and all the things I'm used to. I foresee that the sheer joy of being with my SO would last a long while, but eventually I do believe I would be miserable living there. I grew up in a small town so I know that of which I speak. I think homesickness for the big city, to say nothing of friends and family, would overwhelm me. So I don't think me moving would be good for either of us. sigh. so all I can do is wait until my SO's job is up in a few years... So, any reason you cant move there for a few years until his job is finished then move back? Thats what Im doing in 6-8 months... Im moving back to a city I dont really care for but only for a few years. My SO and I plan to move again once we are finished with college... Then again, if youre OK with the LDR then keep it up... Im not sure of your circumstances but 170 miles isnt too bad, little over 2 hr drive... I think you could have youre cake and eat it too in those circumstances... Link to post Share on other sites
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