cross-continental love affair

[lovesick]

I met this guy about a month and a half ago when he was visiting Canada on an exchange program. We had this totally amazing little love affair.We completely connected on unforseen levels. He is the one, I know heis because I have this feeling inside of me that everybody speaks of. Problem is he has now returned home to Ireland. I have decided to take a year off school and move to London. I do not have a clue what I'm going to do there, all I know is that I will be closer to him. I feel this compulsion to be near him, not like a stalker, just that if I don't I know that I will always have this feeling in my heart of what if. I have spoken to him, and I know that its hard to communicate being so far away, and in two different worlds. I can tell he cares, its just that what do you say to someone who you want to be with so much, yet nothing can change the present situation. He wants to come back here in September to work for a few months, but when I told him I'm coming in September he said maybe he would just stay and wait for me. This was very comforting. I know that if we were close to eachother everything would be fine. And I know that even though London and Belfast are not that close, they are closer then Toronto, and that at that point I will do anything in my power to make sure it works. My problem is, what do I do in the meantime. It's only June, this leaves roughly 3 months. How do I convey to him how important he is to me, without scaring him, and find out if its the exact same for him. He has already said that he will come and visit me in London, and I've told him I plan to come to Belfast. But how do I continue to get to know this person, from the other side of the world??? If anyone has any opinions, they would be greatly appreciated. Thank God I'm young enough that any mistakes I may make, there is still time for recourse, although I am quite sure that I will be doing the right thing.

 

Thanks

 

Broken Hearted

[billy the kid]

Ok first thing you need to ask him if he has a " girl" friend that would like to meet someone from this side of the pond? you are going to need a traveling companion, and so I am volunteering,, now for real's you go girl, this sounds so exciting.. really go for it, even if you don't hit it all off with this guy it will be an experience to write about you will never forget it the rest of your life.. and isn't that is what life is to live it to the fullest ask any other person on this site if they would trade places with you and I'll bet 100% say yes...I've been around the world twice and wouldn't trade that for anything..P.s I,m Irish...

I met this guy about a month and a half ago when he was visiting Canada on an exchange program. We had this totally amazing little love affair.We completely connected on unforseen levels. He is the one, I know heis because I have this feeling inside of me that everybody speaks of. Problem is he has now returned home to Ireland. I have decided to take a year off school and move to London. I do not have a clue what I'm going to do there, all I know is that I will be closer to him. I feel this compulsion to be near him, not like a stalker, just that if I don't I know that I will always have this feeling in my heart of what if. I have spoken to him, and I know that its hard to communicate being so far away, and in two different worlds. I can tell he cares, its just that what do you say to someone who you want to be with so much, yet nothing can change the present situation. He wants to come back here in September to work for a few months, but when I told him I'm coming in September he said maybe he would just stay and wait for me. This was very comforting. I know that if we were close to eachother everything would be fine. And I know that even though London and Belfast are not that close, they are closer then Toronto, and that at that point I will do anything in my power to make sure it works. My problem is, what do I do in the meantime. It's only June, this leaves roughly 3 months. How do I convey to him how important he is to me, without scaring him, and find out if its the exact same for him. He has already said that he will come and visit me in London, and I've told him I plan to come to Belfast. But how do I continue to get to know this person, from the other side of the world??? If anyone has any opinions, they would be greatly appreciated. Thank God I'm young enough that any mistakes I may make, there is still time for recourse, although I am quite sure that I will be doing the right thing. Thanks Broken Hearted

[Tony T]

You could use the extra time to study geography.

 

Moving to London to be near a love in Belfast would be like me moving to Arizona to be near a love in California. Unless you are independently wealthy and can afford flights every weekend to Belfast or he has enough money to fly often to London, you won't be much better off than you are now.

 

You haven't been around him long enough to know if he's a keeper. You've only spent a brief period of time with him and you have a lot of imaginings combined with chemicals swirling around in your head. I know how it feels...it is a great high. I go to a nearby mall sometimes and often return home with a rush from a gal I may have talked to or just seen a few times walking down the way.

 

If this guy has moved you so, just remain friends with him and move directly to his town. If you are intending on studying, move to the town closest to him where you can attend a university. Get to know him very well. If the relationship develops further, go for it.

 

My experience is that I can become infatuated or smitten with various ladies with predictable frequency. If they happened to live abroad, I might be very tempted to travel to see them. But this is not practical for many reasons. I have therefore always limited my dating to those ladies who are geographically (and otherwise) desireable.

 

I do understand where you are coming from and I wish you all the luck in the world. You have a great attitude and a great spirit. But I urge you not to have unrealistic expectations of your journey abroad and of a highly speculative love affair with a man you have known only briefly. London is a great spot for vacationing, learning history, studying, etc. and you should highly profit from that. I lived there for nearly two years and it was the esxperience of a lifetime.

 

However, I have not discovered a single spot on this planet where hearts cannot be broken.

[Taressa]

Your relationship sounds wonderful. Keep in mind that brief romances, although deeply passionate, are not the same as proven, loving friendships.

 

I know well the "heart" feeling you are talking about but please stop to balance those feelings with what your mind knows:

 

- England is still a world away from Ireland.

 

- Men are frightened away when we women place our hearts too strongly on them.

 

Any chance you can maintain a friendship via internet or phone for awhile longer, perhaps plan a vacation together in his town or yours?

 

My biggest worry is that once in London, away from your Canadian friends at home, your heart will grow desperate for love and your hope for love with him will become unreasonable. Make sure you keep a support group around you so that your heart doesn't cling to something you wouldn't otherwise settle for.

 

Best wishes.