The break-up isn't how she wanted it, now she's saying she might wanna be together..

[live2demo3k]

We went out for almost a year and now we've been broken up for a little over a month, there's a thread detailing more of why we broke up and how life was when we were together, needless to for what it's worth life was much better with her. She wanted to be single and just see how life was without having a serious boyfriend all of the time, I fought her tooth and nail about that decision and even after she'd made it I said it was ridiculous. Well time went on and I found ways of coping with it and just being able to block it out of memory, here in the past few days we've written letters to each other and it came down to me writing her a letter saying that she needed to decide if she wanted to start trying to save us or if I was gonna have to just let her go. She wrote back and said she was just so confused, she called me and we talked for an hour or so. She cried about how much she missed me and how much she missed my family, all the little things we used to do together, and how I used to hold her. She also told me that she just wasn't ready for a boyfriend again though, well I told her I guess I'll talk to you in a few months, bye. Immediately she started back peddling and told me no please don't do that, just give me a week or so, maybe I was wrong, let me think about it, I miss you so much. She was going out with friends tonight so I let the night go without any real thought of us talking again, well she called me about 10:45, said a few of our songs had just come on the radio and she figured it was a sign she should call, we talked for a few minutes and then she tells me, that if things don't get better in her life that she wants us to get back together, but that she still needs a month or two to see how things are going to be.. she told me again she misses me so much and wants me to be there with her through this..

 

What do I do? Part of me says now that she is willing to give me a chance in her life again a little that I should take advantage of it and spend as much time with her and really show her what I have to offer to her right now. The other part of me says, I finally had the courage to tell her she was gonna have to go out on on her own if she didn't want to be with me, and it crushed her and she came crawling back luring that she does want to get back together with me.

 

Just should I be there by her side and spend as much time together with her now or what?

 

Need help, ASAP.

[Arabess]

If she was 'out with friends' it may be an indication she was drinking, therefore nostalgia or memories clouded her thoughts. It's good she asked for "more' time....before saying something she may regret.

 

However, if this situation occurred again, I would tell her to only contact me WHEN she was really sure she knew what she wanted. I would also tell her not to call you with "not sure" ideas because you aren't a doormat....you are a PERSON!

 

It's disrespectful, hurtful and mean ......to keep someone hanging while she does her own thing. I know you think you love her....and maybe you do. That's not an excuse though to let her call the shots. If you get back together it should be on JOINT terms...not just HER terms. You are more valuable than that.

[live2demo3k]

I can assure you when I meant out with friends I did not mean drinking or anything like that, they went and saw a movie and got a bite to eat, that was all I meant by out with friends.

 

She is sure I guess that if things do not get better for her in her single life, that she will want to be back with me.

 

I don't agree with the fact that I should just sit here and wait for her to decide she wants to be back with me because her other life didn't work out, but life and love are not fair, I've learned that.

 

I was just wondering how do I go about having the best chances, being for her and spending time with her right now and for the next month or do I give her space still?

[live2demo3k]

I wanted to kind of clarify what I'm trying to get at..

 

If I spend time with her I really feel like stuff will start to click again and she will realize how much she loves spending time with me. However she will also begin to think that she doesn't even have to go out with me and I'll still always be here, so there's no reason to get back together. I also look at it as in she wants us to get back together if her single life doesn't make her more happy, but I think a large part of the reason that she was not happy in her single life is because I was not here for her. She's told me if her single life doesn't get happier she wants to get back together because it's not this is not what she wanted. I'm just scared that if we start spending time together she will accept into her single life and it will make her happy to be single and we will be getting farther away again.

 

This is in my view a really rare chance to save things and I don't want to mess it up, please, help.

[NEONINK]

Boy, it's been a long time since I've posted...

 

You said and I quote, "I don't want to mess it up, please, help."

 

Do you think she's sitting around, pushing you away, pulling you in, pushing you away, thinking, "Boy, I don't want to mess this up..."?

 

Well, No! She had you. She didn't want you. What's more clear than that?

 

Give her a chance if you wish. There's a 5% chance of reunion, 95% chance of getting your heart broke again. If nothing has changed within her, then what could you possibly hope has changed? A month isn't long enough to get her act or head together.

 

Do what you wish, but if she hurts you again, please stop the insanity and move on for real.

[live2demo3k]

Well, yesterday we finally got to spend some time together, first time in about 3 weeks, and it was pretty good. There was room for improvement but overall I think it went really well, we laid down together, held each other, held hands, and when it began to be awkward since we're supposed to be broken up, we'd take a lil break or put a lil space between us and relax about it. We talked about how things are, and tried to figure out exactly what shes wanting, she assured me there is nothing between her and anyone else and she wont move on, she wont do anything with anyone else, she just wants a little time to herself, and I can finally say I believe her. We flirted A LOT and it felt like old times at times, I talked to her mom and her sister and that felt good to know they still consider me part of the family. Just gonna have to take a little time, but now shes talking about spending time together this coming week, seems like stuff is on the up and up, will keep everyone informed.