megan_lukitsh Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 I am very extremley stressed out. My husband is a recovering addict of heroin and has been clean for 2 years. We recently had a child who is 13 months old now, and have gotten married. I just found out that he's been using, and I wouldn't have known if I wouldn't have done laundry. I was going through his pants pockets and found a needle and confronted him about it. At first, I was so angry that I was ready to take my son and leave. But, after some cooling down, not only do we have a child, but we took vows "to have and to hold... through SICKNESS and through HEALTH" I am just sad, angry, depressed and wondered if anyone had any ideas or thoughts on how to cope with this situation. We are currently looking to get him in a detox center which there are no available beds ready yet... help?? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 *hugs* dealing with a family member's addiction is probably one of the hardest trials a person can face, but don't let the pain associated with it bowl you over ... as long as the person with the problem is willing to seek help, there's always hope. Encourage him, praise him for his successes, and yep, be that stick smacking your little donkey's butt if need be, but give him constant feedback. I sometimes wonder if people who allow themselves to remain in a crisis situation do so because they feel it's all they're capable of being. That they don't believe others are capable of loving them for just who they are … so they continue to be "bad" … just a thought. however, YOU are your husband's secret weapon, even if he hasn't quite grasped that fact yet. Just make sure you've got a strong support system in place for yourself, because you will be pouring a lot of energy into helping him heal, and you'll need folks to help replenish your hope, your energy, your strength. On the VERY bright side, by coming here and sharing your concerns, you'll have found a strong system of support. so don't hesitate to post your worries, your concerns or even the strides your man has made in recovery best of luck to the both of you, q Link to post Share on other sites
Author megan_lukitsh Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 thank you so much for the words of encourgment.. it means a lot! Link to post Share on other sites
carlin7386 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 thanx for posting good information --------------------- Drug Rehab Link to post Share on other sites
Shouldacouldawoulda Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 I have firsthand knowledge about what it's like to deal with a spouse's addiction. Unfortunately, my story does not have a happy ending. My question/comment for you though was have you looked into either methadone or suboxone therapy? I'm not a huge proponent of methadone (my xH had a severe addiction to methadone which is actually a very addictive opiate - but that was his primary addiction, so it may work better for heroin addiction treatment), but suboxone IMO is a miracle drug. It's only a partial-agonist opioid so it has a "ceiling effect" and less potential for abuse. It also doesn't cloud one's thinking. Either methadone or suboxone can be used to successfully detox someone from heroin with limited if any withdrawal (which is usually the addict's main fear about quitting). Couple the drug therapy with counseling, and your husband could successfully kick his habit without having to spend time away from home or his job. So many people just cannot risk losing their jobs by going to an extended inpatient program. Just wanted to throw this out there for you. Good luck. Keep us updated please. Link to post Share on other sites
Shouldacouldawoulda Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 Man, I should really wait before I hit post... Wanted to say also, I took my vows very seriously as well, and I often thought about the "in sickness and in health" vow. Now, in hindsight, I can honestly say that if an addict refuses to seek treatment (talking about a spouse who is an addict), s/he essentially makes the other person just as "sick". Then, the marriage itself becomes "sick" and toxic. At some point (after you have shown enough support, offered help, etc.), there has to come a time when the sober spouse realizes that it is better to end a marriage rather than be in one with two "sick" spouses. Just my take on the marriage vow issue... Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 Do you know about ibogaine? http://www.ibeginagain.org/ Link to post Share on other sites
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