Hopeless and lost, is there hope?????

[amore1]

I have been dating a man for the past 5 years on & off and through some difficult long distance. When we see each other in person things are wonderful, however, when the long distance hits us things tend to get rough. We have not been an official "couple" for quite a while but when we are together it is clear the spark is there and we are together. The last time we saw each other, he told me he loved me and wanted to give the relationship another try. Unfortunately, distance stood in the way yet again and I was forced to leave the state for two months. Ever since I left it's been hard to communicate in a healthy way and make the relationship work. To make a long story short, we have been having our fights and each time I tried to bring it up and talk to him about fixing whatever has been getting in our way he did not want to discuss it. On Thursday he promised to call me in the evening and never did. I could not hold it inside anymore and called him on Friday asking why he did not call me. He says my attitude and tone of voice was b*itchy and finally he says "I do not love you, I don't want to be together".

 

I am at a point where I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. He doesn't want to speak to me and I really don't know what to do with my feelings. I don't know how a person can be happy one day and the next say such a hurtful thing to a woman he claims he loves ... Deep down inside I feel like he doesn't mean it but I realize he is disrespectful to me and I need to cut my losses and think of this as a blessing and run far far away from him. I feel hopeless and helpless and the feeling of not being able to let go is killing me inside. Maybe I am addicted to him or the idea of him loving me? It seems I try and try and never get anywhere ... I feel like I need to talk to him about this to hear his side of the story and understand what happened but that probably won't even help at this point. I really don't know what to do with myself and am hopelessly feeling lost in this life.