Predictably, MM is back and full of regret

[2sunny]

I think that is a bit dramatic. I do see the change in her attitude because I believe her anger subsided. I haven't seen her change her mind about the strategy, but I guess the general consensus is that he is chipping away at her defenses.

 

Is that how you all feel?

 

let's not stay stuck in a useless place of pointing out the obvious with no suggestions for it to become better...

 

we need her to move forward... that is when it will likely show what may or may not happen.

[Virgo1982]

let's not stay stuck in a useless place of pointing out the obvious with no suggestions for it to become better...

 

we need her to move forward... that is when it will likely show what may or may not happen.

 

That's what I've been saying and how I feel.

 

Tough love is useless to some people.

[OpenBook]

AF, just wanted to chime in with my support. I think you're doing great. Don't let the b*stard(s) get you down. Just keep on moving.

[DiDi123]

Hi AF-

Do what you think is best for YOU- whatever your decision I will be here to cheer you on and support you.

 

I am very much interested in what happens- please don't stop posting....

 

((hugs))

[learnfrommymistakes]

Hi AF-

Do what you think is best for YOU- whatever your decision I will be here to cheer you on and support you.

 

I am very much interested in what happens- please don't stop posting....

 

((hugs))

 

AF

I agree with this and wondered how you were doing. We are here for support, and realize things can be gray, not always cut and dry and offer support and hugs

((((((((hugs))))))))

[Alpha Female]

Now, he sends a few text messages and you went from "I am woman here me roar" to "sure honey, whatever you want".

 

I have watched a very strong woman who was rightly pissed off and devestated when she was dumped to a woman now who is debating on having coffee with a weak willy man who treats her disrespectfully.

 

See this is what is annoying about this place. How people selectively read.

 

Did I cave to him and say "sure honey, whatever you want?" Please quote me on that.

 

And when did I debate having coffee with him? And when was he disrespectful?

 

If people took the time to read what I wrote, they would see that yes, the anger subsided, and then I delivered him a solid ultimatum. File divorce papers, move out, and get into therapy. Until that happened, he knew we were going to have NC.

 

Just frustrating when posters like to write their own script. Like NID blasting him for not responding to my text with the ultimatum, when he did respond to it. And just like this post accusing me of things that never happened.

 

So when posters keep writing their own story, or say Im being foolish for taking him back on nothing but words (when I didnt, and he knew that), it makes OPs stop posting, because its clear only a select few are actually reading the facts.

 

Thanks.

[NoIDidn't]

See this is what is annoying about this place. How people selectively read.

 

Like how you yourself *selectively* read:

 

Just frustrating when posters like to write their own script. Like NID blasting him for not responding to my text with the ultimatum, when he did respond to it.

 

Now you are just making things up. You never updated that he had, in fact, contacted you since, so I was going based on what you actually left in the thread. I can't believe that you are going to slight ANY poster for not knowing that he contacted you when you didn't update the thread with that info.

 

So when posters keep writing their own story, or say Im being foolish for taking him back on nothing but words (when I didnt, and he knew that), it makes OPs stop posting, because its clear only a select few are actually reading the facts.

 

Personally, I think you are just being unreasonable in your demands of how posters are to respond to you. No one is making up a script. No matter how many times you write that, it doesn't make it true.

 

No one has said you were being foolish. I didn't say that or even imply it.

 

Post or don't post. But to claim that we are running you off is just disingenuous - yet again.

 

(And don't worry, I won't bother posting to you any further. Your responses are far too temperamental.)

[fooled once]

See this is what is annoying about this place. How people selectively read.

 

Did I cave to him and say "sure honey, whatever you want?" Please quote me on that.

 

And when did I debate having coffee with him? And when was he disrespectful?

 

If people took the time to read what I wrote, they would see that yes, the anger subsided, and then I delivered him a solid ultimatum. File divorce papers, move out, and get into therapy. Until that happened, he knew we were going to have NC.

 

Just frustrating when posters like to write their own script. Like NID blasting him for not responding to my text with the ultimatum, when he did respond to it. And just like this post accusing me of things that never happened.

 

So when posters keep writing their own story, or say Im being foolish for taking him back on nothing but words (when I didnt, and he knew that), it makes OPs stop posting, because its clear only a select few are actually reading the facts.

 

Thanks.

 

 

If you would stop being so defensive, you will see that we ALL are supporting you. Some blow sunshine, some don't.

 

You went from hating the wimpy man to entertaining the thought of seeing him.

 

Then he asked to see me. Luckily I was at the airport heading out of town for the week.

 

I so knew this would happen. Im just not sure how to proceed!

I dont think he even deserves to see me in person to talk, but maybe thats a tad much.

Do I agree to meet him in person when I get home so that I can tell him this? Or, do it over phone/text?

NiD didn't blast anyone.

 

You posted yesterday at 11:28 am

 

OK, I just sent him this:

 

Do you really want me back and for us to be together?

 

He replied, "yes!"

 

wrote, ok, you will need to do 3 things.

 

He said, ok.

 

And I replied: 1 - file for divorce. 2 - move out of the house. 3-start seeing your therapist friend (he has a friend who is a psychologist who he has discussed me/us with).

 

I added: there is no way im going back to being your other woman. If you want me enough youll make changes, and if not, then we both move on.

 

Ill keep everyone posted.

and then nothing until NID stated something about not hearing anything back because YOU didn't update, like you stated you would, until she asked. That was when you posted again this morning at 12:36 am that you had quite a few texts. Do you see why people thought he didn't respond? First it was all these texts, until you stated what you wanted from him and then nothing.

 

NO ONE wants you to hurt again. NO ONE wants you to go through what you went through a week or so ago with all the anger and raging.

 

People are concerned about you. Of course we jumped to the conclusion that he didn't respond because you didn't update for almost 12 hours. I realize you are busy and all, but don't you see how people came to the conclusion that he didn't respond???

 

Why do you think we are against you? That is what I don't understand

 

It seems like, from what you have written, that you are in contact with him and it seems like you are sliding right back into the OW role. Why? Because you have now gotten quite a few texts from him but I thought he wasn't to contact you again until he fulfilled the 3 things you need from him.

 

And he is disrespecting you by dumping you, then filling your head with all this stuff of you and him when he is STILL WITH HIS WIFE. It would be different if he contacted you after moving out. But that isn't what happened. Seems to me like he gave you a few days to calm down and then bam, he is back to texting you.

 

Again, not sure why you are so defensive.

[Alpha Female]

 

and then nothing until NID stated something about not hearing anything back because YOU didn't update, like you stated you would, until she asked. That was when you posted again this morning at 12:36 am that you had quite a few texts. Do you see why people thought he didn't respond? First it was all these texts, until you stated what you wanted from him and then nothing.

 

Heres a thought. Perhaps in the future, as a poster, its best to ask for an update, rather than draw your own conclusions and run with them.

 

I do have a life, and didnt have a chance to log on to give a blow by blow. That happens sometimes.

 

But, I think waiting to find out facts tends to be a better approach than assuming what you like and then running with it.