exotic_angel Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 We have known each other for over seven years, he is dating my best friend, who I have known my whole life. One crazy drunken weekend 2 years ago he pulled me into a room and tried to rape me, while we were at a vacation house with our friends. I screamed and fought.. he held me down tightly onto a bed and slipped his hand between my legs. I cried and squirmed.. I eventually got away. Later that night he tried again, I told him I didn’t want to sternly but it didn’t matter. We never talked about until one night when we were all at a party and he told me that he never told anyone about that night and that he still wants me. I didn’t make a scene because our mutual friends were there. I told him that it affected me terribly but I have put it all behind me and hoped to forget about that night and all his intentions. Now, three nights ago he came over with my best friend and two of his friends. My BFF had to step out for 2 hours and she told him she would meet us back at my place. When she left he pulled me into a bathroom and tried to kiss me. I screamed and kicked him. His friends were on the patio seemingly unaware of what was happening. He lifted me up and placed me ontop of the bathroom counter. I started to reason with him about my love for my best friend and the discomfort and pain this would bring. He wasn’t bothered or moved. He used his hands .. until I bled.. I cried and screamed but he only pushed harder. The more I fought the stronger he got. I am trying to push this out of my head.. I can’t tell anyone because my closest friends are also his mutual closest friends. Not to mention my BFF.. I am afraid of the awkwardness that it would bring. And I just want to forget about it and pray that it never happens again. I feel sick and sad and the hardest part of is being normal around him now.. when my BFF came back to my place I faked a smile and tried to avoid him… whenever I went inside he followed me in and tried to interfere with me as much as he could. I never thought that someone I trust and consider would hurt me like this, I remember telling him it’s just another p**** that it isn’t worth the consequence and he just kept saying that he wanted me. The sick thing is that he wanted me to kiss him and he kissed me all over.. I just didn’t fight anymore.. I cried and waited for it to be over. And for this reason I blame myself, I think about if I fought harder or screamed louder.. I can’t tell anyone because it is painfully and embarrassing to tell the people we both know. What should I do? How do I deal with this without affecting anyone around me? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I say.. press charges... This is totally ridiculous... you're concerned about your BFF... she should know that she's dating a rapist.. really... are you real??? Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 You are being continually threated and sexually assaulted by this predator. He has committed a crime against you, you have been violated and assaulted and as long as no one is told you are still under threat. You have to tell your BFF. She probably already has some awareness of his nature. However, she may turn her back on you for the moment. Tell her, tell others, tell the police. The MOST important thing for you to do is get protection from this man. I know its hard. I know you dont want to bring the opinions of others down on yourself, I know you dont want to cause waves, I understand you feel ashamed at being a victim and have concerns you will not be believed. But this is NOT something you want to forget, not something you want to get comfortable with. TELL. Do it for your own safety and sanity. Mostly, do it for your future self. Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Call the police and press charges against him. You will be doing your BFF a favor. She needs to know what he really is. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Call the police and press charges against him. You will be doing your BFF a favor. She needs to know what he really is. I agree... Call the police Link to post Share on other sites
lostsoulmate Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I am so sorry. What you are dealing with is incredibliy hard to choke down. Please tell someone. (It should be the police) Please I again tell you to tell someone. You need to for your sake, and all the other women this has happened to. You may not be the only person he has hurt, but you are the only one who can tell your story. Again I am so sorry. But please tell someone! Link to post Share on other sites
Author exotic_angel Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 thank u for all the support.. it's all so fresh in my mind .. so the unanimous advice is .. get a lawyer? owch.. this is gonna be a long and painful process. i could jus avoid him and avoid all of our friends like i did the last time until i feel ok again. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 You will carry with you the effects of what he has done to you for the rest of your life and need to get help with this. Avoiding him isn't the answer and will make you hurt even more. Right now you need to go to the police and file a report and the state will handle it from there. You are a victim and don't have to hire a lawyer. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnP82 Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I'm sorry you're going through this. You need to call the police Link to post Share on other sites
Author exotic_angel Posted November 11, 2009 Author Share Posted November 11, 2009 it really heklps to know that so many people care. i feel so breakable. i'm trying to regain myself before i go to the police like u have all adviced. wat if they don't believe me? they will ask why i didn't report it the first time. but i didn't report it because i thought it was jus a drunken nite. i'm afraid of going through wit this. i know my best friend will believe me. i jus don't know how i'm going to tell her. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 We have known each other for over seven years, he is dating my best friend, who I have known my whole life. One crazy drunken weekend 2 years ago he pulled me into a room and tried to rape me, while we were at a vacation house with our friends. I screamed and fought...What should I do? How do I deal with this without affecting anyone around me? File a report to the police. Name names - witnesses etc, location of the vacation house. Gather contact information. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 It is VERY important for you to go to the police. Lawyers will come later (maybe/maybe not). They will believe you and they will help you get the counseling you need. Have you told your family? Their support is critical as well. Don't worry about your friends. Those who are your true friends will stand by you. When I was raped (at age 17), only one friend stood by me while the rest didn't believe me and washed their hands of me. I am still very good friends (actually business partners!) with the one friend who stood by me and that was almost 20 years ago. Your TRUE friends WILL stand by you and be there for you years from now. And they will understand and support you. If they don't believe you, that is there problem. You know the truth and getting counseling to talk through it and get support is absolutely essential. Stay strong and keep coming back here to us when you need to. We are here for you as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetcheripie Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 it really heklps to know that so many people care. i feel so breakable. i'm trying to regain myself before i go to the police like u have all adviced. wat if they don't believe me? they will ask why i didn't report it the first time. but i didn't report it because i thought it was jus a drunken nite. i'm afraid of going through wit this. i know my best friend will believe me. i jus don't know how i'm going to tell her. It is scary but you must go to the police. They will know the questions to ask and to help you. If you don't go to the police YOU will pay the price for years with your own self esteem. I was listening to a radio show the other day and the mom found a letter the daughter had written to her "boyfriend" rapist. The daughter had thrown the letter in the trash. The radio host had the mom go to the school right then and there and pull her daughter out of school (17 - still in high school) and then she talked to the daughter and told her she MUST go to the police. The daughter didn't want to - the incident had happened a while ago - but finally the daughter agreed to go. She was scared and afraid no one would believe her but it was still imperative she go to the police. Taking care of yourself and standing up for yourself will give you power and the ability to get over this. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 Your original post was more structured and grammatically clear. Makes one wonder who composed it verses the responses that were made there after. The change with the "wit,jus, wat" in later dialogue ..... Sorry I study the written language and I'm often intrigued when a structure style changes. Aside from that, in reading the story, its best to contact three areas of concern: 1: A lawyer 2: A mental health professional 3: Your parents or relatives (as family can be a stable form of support) Link to post Share on other sites
Author exotic_angel Posted November 12, 2009 Author Share Posted November 12, 2009 Your original post was more structured and grammatically clear. Makes one wonder who composed it verses the responses that were made there after. The change with the "wit,jus, wat" in later dialogue ..... Sorry I study the written language and I'm often intrigued QUOTE] i am aware of that. i wrote the orginalpost in word and pasted it over here because i wanted to be specific but i also needed to write in a sensored way. my other post as well as this one is written right here, so it is gramatically shortened. Link to post Share on other sites
jerseyboy Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 Jesus File charges. If for no other reason than the f'ing scumbag is likely to take your not doing so as a green light to do so whenever he wishes, regardless of whether you avoid him or not. You'll have taught him there are no consequences to hurting you, and presummably others. Link to post Share on other sites
brianacarol Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 shame on your BF he is totally mental i think u should ask him that he wants your true love or just sexual relation. If he wants your true love then u say him wait till married and avoid to do these things. Link to post Share on other sites
El Ben Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Call the police. I wish you'd already called them to be honest. He's scum and should be in jail. Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Call the police and have him charged-he is still out there, and he has tried this twice already, and this scum needs to be kept away from you. Can you tell other friends, and family about this? It is important to have people around you, looking after you. You and your safety are WAY more important than what your BFF or other friends think or believe about what might, or might not, be true, so don't let your worries about your BFF stop you from reporting him, or speaking out to others. Whatever you do PLEASE do not let the status quo continue, because if you do you will come in to contact with him, or people that remind you of him, again. Do you have people close to you that you can talk to? So sorry o hear that you are going through this. Link to post Share on other sites
El Ben Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 Please understand. Not doing anything about it IS encouraging him, not only to abuse you, but also to abuse other women. You MUST report him. Link to post Share on other sites
Brady_to_Moss Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 Your original post was more structured and grammatically clear. Makes one wonder who composed it verses the responses that were made there after. The change with the "wit,jus, wat" in later dialogue ..... Sorry I study the written language and I'm often intrigued when a structure style changes. Aside from that, in reading the story, its best to contact three areas of concern: 1: A lawyer 2: A mental health professional 3: Your parents or relatives (as family can be a stable form of support) This post is strange. Like you said, spelled well in the first...then goes to laywer and wit later... Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 Your post is very disturbing. Your rapist lover gets very excited over the fact that you say nothing and he keeps coming back molesting you again and again. Something smells fishy here. You feel like a troll ... Or you are up to something.....like maybe you are getting something from these interactions .. Could this be an honest post and a cry for help ? And your jig lingo is all twisted. Reminds me of Nigerian scammers...They write just like that... Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 This post is strange. Like you said, spelled well in the first...then goes to laywer and wit later... The creator of this post (Exotic Angel) may well have endured this, only my spidey senses tell me otherwise. Most of this persons' posts are of the dramatic nature and seem to warrant the goodness in folks to want to come to her/his aide. Coming on a forum maintains that anonymity yet also opens up to being questioned on validity. I side with the advice, yet wonder if this person is into drama verses seeking genuine help. Most genuine help is via medical, or police skills when it comes to this matter, not an online forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 What makes it strange to me : Most women might put a few brief sentences such as : I was twice sexually molested by this male through the years and then this year he raped me. Instead this poster goes into vivid detail of how she could not fight him off and he came back over and over... Is that a fantasy of sorts ? Is she truly desired by most men ? Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 What makes it strange to me : Most women might put a few brief sentences such as : I was twice sexually molested by this male through the years and then this year he raped me. Instead this poster goes into vivid detail of how she could not fight him off and he came back over and over... Is that a fantasy of sorts ? Is she truly desired by most men ? TO be fair - I don't think rape is a desire for the person but a submission to that act of degradation at a level that is unspeakable. The Poster- ExoticA- did say she used the Program called "Word" To properly gather her thoughts in a uniformed way for all to read. Which tells me that she did a bit of editing and playup to the scenario. In my college years we called that "Creative Writing skills". I stress this kindly - most persons who have endured this do not take an hour to sit and create a detailed document and then post it on a forum. They would keep such for medical or police matters. THe poster never really does say how long ago this happened, or maybe it happened in their dreams.... Link to post Share on other sites
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