keisha2412 Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 My ex and I were together for 2 1/2 years and he broke up with me one month ago. After one week he was seeing someone new. I have been NC for 22 days now and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. Today has been the worse though, I saw a pic of his new g/f and she is beautiful. Wow, it's like I can't breath. It hurts so bad and all I want to do is just move on and get past all of this. How do I do it! I hate hurting over someone who doesn't give a crap about me and left me for someone else. It's ridiculous. Will this pain ever go away? Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 tell us about him. Tell us what kind of guy he was and what your relationship was like, good and bad It is hard to give advise based on the info given so far Link to post Share on other sites
Samantha0905 Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 My ex and I were together for 2 1/2 years and he broke up with me one month ago. After one week he was seeing someone new. I have been NC for 22 days now and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. Today has been the worse though, I saw a pic of his new g/f and she is beautiful. Wow, it's like I can't breath. It hurts so bad and all I want to do is just move on and get past all of this. How do I do it! I hate hurting over someone who doesn't give a crap about me and left me for someone else. It's ridiculous. Will this pain ever go away? I'm sorry Keisha! That must be so painful for you. Where did you see a photo of her? If it's something like FB or somewhere like that, de-friend him. You'll just cause yourself pain otherwise. Try to get out with your friends and do stuff. Stay busy. *hug* And yes, the pain will go away. The busier you stay and the more you go out with others, the more quickly you will be able to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
sean1970 Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 (edited) It is hard to give advise based on the info given so far While I'm making an assumption here, the first advice would be to stop looking at/for pictures of him... Edited November 10, 2009 by sean1970 Link to post Share on other sites
sean1970 Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I have been NC for 22 days now and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. While I cant speak of the other here, it took me a long time (4 months) to finally come to terms with it. Does not mean either that I don't think about her still hourly; its just not with any idea of getting back together. It takes time, keisha, but I can tell you from experience, looking at/for such things (pics, FB posts, etc) only fuels the pain and makes the process of healing take longer than it should. Keep your chin up and know that you will be ok; it just takes time... Link to post Share on other sites
AnthonyMalibu Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I'm really sorry for what you're going through. It's one of the worst parts of breaking up. I agree with the posters who say you shouldn't be looking at pics of him, or of his new girlfriend. I commend you for doing such a great job at no contact so far, but if you want to continue down that road you're gonna need to occupy yourself with other things. Anything to do with your ex or his new girlfriend is going to make you feel worse, not better. Alright, here's a piece of good news: If he started dating that quickly he's probably in a rebound relationship... and rebounds often don't work out. They start out hot and heavy but they burn out very quickly - mainly because he pushed his own feelings for you to the side in order to start dating again. Eventually, those feelings will have to be dealt with... and this will probably happen once they have their first major blowout. Also, if you're judging your ex's new girlfriend's beauty off a Facebook pic? I wouldn't put too much stock in it. People can make themselves look pretty damned good when they've got a thousand different digital pics to choose from, grab the best one out of all of them, and then crop out the parts they don't like... Link to post Share on other sites
Author keisha2412 Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 It was a pic of them on one of my friends page, we have mutual friends. I do not have him as a friend on Myspace or FB. It just hit me hard to see that. I really wasn't ready for it at all. Now it seems to be the only thing I'm thinking about. Our relationship was great at first, but for the past 6 months the fighting had gotten more and more frequent. And when I look back on it I can see we were just drifting further and further apart. I start to think, If only I'd done something about it. If only I hadn't fought back with him. But that's pointless to think about now. I'm also beginning to think he may have been seeing her while we were still together. He replaced me in a week, and I still can't even think about dating anyone else. Ugh, why does love have to hurt so bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I know exactly how you feel! It took me at least 6 months to get over the fact I had been cheated on and he was still with her Now, even after him begging me back and me saying NO WAY and even after talking to his new girlfriend and knowing how I am the thorn in her side and how he calls her my name and even told her in a row that all he wanted was for me to take him back, I still struggle some days with the fact that he is ok and I am plodding on It is hard to deal with the being thrown away feeling but you will feel better soon! I agree he is on a rebound and he will realise what he lost one day and you will get yours, I guarantee that! I never thought I would when my ex did that to me but I got my own back and some more! Day by day babe, you will survive! Link to post Share on other sites
Author keisha2412 Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 (edited) Do I stop being friends with our mutual friends so I don't have any part of him in my life anymore? After the picture thing, I'm my Ex or his new g/f but it's still a connection to him. And that makes it hurt worse. So, should I cut them out of my life as well? Edited November 10, 2009 by keisha2412 Link to post Share on other sites
sean1970 Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Do I stop being friends with our mutual friends so I don't have any part of him in my life anymore? After the picture thing, I'm my Ex or his new g/f but it's still a connection to him. And that makes it hurt worse. So, should I cut them out of my life as well? You do what it takes to get well. If you have true friends, they will understand if you tell them not to talk about him or tell him things. The other, casual friends, leave them alone; its just not worth the setbacks if you hear something from them, or worse, they tattle to him... In the end, surround yourself with people you can rely on and trust. We are always here as well... Link to post Share on other sites
Author keisha2412 Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 Thank you so much for all your words of hope and encouragement. This place has been been so wonderful. I've never met such amazing people! There are so many of us hurting with the same kind of pain. I'm praying for the day I wake up and the pain is finally gone, for me and for all of us. Thank you so much! This day has sucked but I do feel better now, b/c of you guys. Link to post Share on other sites
photobooth Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Keisha - I am so sorry for the heartache you are feeling right now. There is nothing comforting about the entire situation, but I'm a guy and if it makes you feel better, you can find better. I would NEVER cheat, or move on that damn quickly. the same thing happened to me where my gf of 2 years cheated on me then starting dating the guy 2 weeks later. I will never understand how humans have the capacity to hurt those they love so much...but it seems all of us here could never see ourselves hurting loved ones. and thats what this place so great. just keep posting your story and we will keep listening and providing insight Link to post Share on other sites
AnthonyMalibu Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Keisha, One last piece of advice: unplug for a while. You don't have to stop being FB friends with this person or block that person... instead, stop going on there at all. Getting away from it will help you, and your true friends will understand your absence. As far as real life goes? Your friends should already know that you'd rather not see or hear about him. If not, tell them nicely. After that, hanging with them should be a lot easier. Keep your chin up, and take it day by day! It only gets better from here. Link to post Share on other sites
wendy37 Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 i know what your going through hun...im the same as you,im just fresh in this game and my ex today has told me hes wuth someone else!! the pain is awful yet he still wants to make a go of things!!! im like no way unless he proves to me that he tells her to go but he wouldnt..he says he has nothing to prove to me!! and that im too believe everything hes saying erm...no! he is not having his cake and eating it....im worth more than that.im not coping atall with my break up..im having to stay with my sister so im not alone going through this time..i was driving myself nutts over him..he has also been tormenting me saying hes with other women then hes not then he is..total mind games until i broke down on sunday..and even though he knows i broke down hes still trying to play with my head...im going to find this so hard as im so used to contact plus having to except its over is still something else..i know ive got to be strong and im very weak right now xx Link to post Share on other sites
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