DreamPink Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 I have been reading these posts and I cant for the life of me figure out why everyone seems to think that the fact that April fool has a problem with her husband watching porn is due to lack of self esteem?? Maybe it is because she has a bit of self respect which obviously her husband (by continuing to look at it against her wishes) is not providing her with the respect she deserves!!!!!!! Just my humble opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AprilFool Posted June 8, 2004 Author Share Posted June 8, 2004 He recently confessed to me that he looks at it for the "big boobs". He said that there's "Just something about them." Funny...he looks at the little boobs too....any naked woman will do. However, he does (did...he he) prefer the busty babes websites. The internet is gone now, and in an angry rage, he broke his remote controller to his cable box, so he can't order pay per view any more Not that it would matter....after his most recent lie, I put a password on playboy and hustler Link to post Share on other sites
DreamPink Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 lol @ putting a password on playboy and hustler. (= Although, if a man feels the need to get off on porn I dont think that is gonna stop him. Its my opinion that he will find a way to fulfill his need some way or another. Link to post Share on other sites
Jodisplace Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 Originally posted by DreamPink ...her husband (by continuing to look at it against her wishes) is not providing her with the respect she deserves!!!!!!! Just my humble opinion. EXACTLY! I am having the internet porn issue with my husband as well...just had a blow up last night as a matter of fact. According to him, I should be able to give him this "little bit" of leeway because he's otherwise a "great husband" (his words...) even though he had a 6 month affair 2 years ago that I am still trying to get over. I don't understand why it is so hard to stop doing something that you know hurts the person you supposedly love so much! If I were to do something that made him feel as crappy as the porn makes me feel, I would stop in an instant out of respect and love. I will admit, however, that part of my aversion is due to the fact that I gained 30 pounds in the years since his affair (stress eating gone haywire, I guess) and I no longer look like the women in the porn. It hurts that he looks at them instead of me, I guess. I just wish I was enough for him. Link to post Share on other sites
eden Posted June 24, 2004 Share Posted June 24, 2004 ive been married for 5 years, and it was ok in the beginning for fun, but when one of you "need" to look at it to help you make love then that draws the line, now if it bothers you he shouldnt do it unless he's addited to it. people can have their own views about it, and say that 'it's normal, and it's not about you,and dont be insecure, but if those are your feelings and you dont like it there's nothing wrong with that, if i knew my husband liked this kind of stuff before we got married i wouldnt have married him, and he shouldnt have gotten married if thats what he liked to do,so what the hell am i here for, im the one who cooks and cleans for him and takes care of the kids and washes his funky underwear not the whores in the magazines,that he seems to love so much, so maybe i should just leave,and see if one of those whores are gonna come and do this stuff for him. if a man is in a relationship with one woman,he may feel he needs other women,so to keep from being unfaithful he gets his variety from looking at porn but that still doesnt make it ok if it makes you feel bad about yourself, HELL NO it isnt ok, what is ok about looking at other naked people having sex,what do you get out of it,and whatever you do get out of it you should take that same energy and put it towards the person thats right there with you and not on some girl in a porn who they'll never have sex with anyway,the girls in these movies are whores,they have sex with numerous men and women for money and sometimes without condoms,so if your man is attracted to whores then he should be with a whore,how would he feel if he put that movie in and you were on there,men are never satisfied, they say they want a nice woman who respects themselves,but they love whores who make flicks and some men love to spend there money and the money that should be going to there families on strippers, so what do men want whores or nice respectful women. men make up your minds because if he wants a respectful women he wouldnt spend his time looking at trash.what i would tell my man is "ok honey you like whores,then i'll become one for you and make a movie like this would you like to look at me like that." if he respects you im sure he wouldnt like that, but like i said some men like whores! Link to post Share on other sites
heidi Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 I read this entire thread and was getting really frustrated until I got to the end. It really is a self-esteem issue, but the reason for the self-esteem issue is caused by husbands looking at other naked women!!! Sure maybe they don't begin with the greatest self-esteem but isn't it a partners job to make one another more secure? It's not okay to make someone that you love feel terrible. I am also having the same problem with my husband and I just wanted to say that it's totally normal to feel insecure and jealous when someone that you have to live the rest of your life with is spending his spare time imagining having sex with random other women, most of them ARE more beautiful than your average wife. Sure people have fantasies and it's not necessarily a bad thing to look at porn every once and a while but if it your partner is in the habit of doing it regularly, then I think that it's absolutely fair to be a little upset about it. It's a natural reaction to feel rejected and unsatisfactory when your husband looks to someone else to satisfy his sexual needs... which IS what he's doing when he's looking at porn. As I am expected to be understanding of him looking at a little bit of porn, I expect him to be understanding of the fact that every time he does it, it chips away a peice of my self-esteem. Therefore when he does it often, I really feel bad about it. He knows that it hurts me and continues to do it, which then makes the hurt double. Just wanted to add my 2 cents! Link to post Share on other sites
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