Girl I'm kind of with is going to become a bartender :(

[crazy_grl]

I don't think it's just me, it's just that my experiences with women have all been the same and have no reason to feel any differently about them. If you constantly have the same thing happen over and over, I think it is wise to see a general trend and be wary so that it doesn't happen again.

 

And this couldn't be any sort of self-fulfilling prophecy?

 

That is because you are intolerant of human flaws,

 

I'm intolerant of this particular flaw, yes. I have no interest in being a domestic abuse case. Anger, control issues, and negativity toward women are the biggest indicators of this.

 

good luck finding a guy who is perfect.

 

Thanks, but I don't need luck with this. I'm not looking for a perfect guy, just one perfect for me, and I don't have too many problems find great guys.

 

She finds my sense of humor hilarious, and likes it when I tease her in ways like that. Many women do, you'd be surprised. Not everyone is as anal as most women are.

 

Most sane women wouldn't find it funny to have their bf imply what you did about them. Most men wouldn't like their gf to imply it about them either. She obviously didn't either judging by her "you don't think much of me" comment. And you admitted you weren't totally joking, so this isn't about your sense of humor.

 

I'm not trying to be mean, but the stuff you're saying here is, from a woman's perspective, a little scary.

Edited November 12, 2009 by crazy_grl

[start-fresh]

Dude, you need to take a step back and look at this from a whole new perspective. Do you think female bartenders enjoy getting hit on by all these random guys at a bar? I'm a guy but I would think it would get really old really fast. To me it just looks desperate. There's all these women that come out to the bar to meet people and all these guys can do is hit on someone that's paid to be there to take their money and pour them drinks.

 

You could be the cool, supportive guy that is her escape after being hit on by all these drunk guys desperate to get laid, but instead she'll be thinking the whole time how her boyfriend (which you aren't even yet anyway ) will be interrogating her about her night. Would you want to come home to this every night? A nagging girlfriend?

 

Weeding through people when you're looking for a relationship is exhausting. Do you think she will spend her time at work (which is exhausting enough) flirting with guys too?

[Ruby Slippers]

All your insecurity is doing is communicating to her that you have a low opinion of yourself. No matter what she thought of you before, once you start acting like you are not a catch, she will start to see you that way, too.

 

One of the biggest turn-offs about the guy I just broke it off with after a month of dating was that in spite of the fact that he had many wonderful qualities, he called attention to his shortcomings by wondering more than once what he could do to encourage me to "keep him around". I couldn't figure out why he was worried about that, but once he brought it up several times, I had to wonder. Not good.

[Krytie TV]

Sweet, things are picking back up here at LS!

[DustySaltus]

Dude, you need to take a step back and look at this from a whole new perspective. Do you think female bartenders enjoy getting hit on by all these random guys at a bar? I'm a guy but I would think it would get really old really fast. To me it just looks desperate. There's all these women that come out to the bar to meet people and all these guys can do is hit on someone that's paid to be there to take their money and pour them drinks.

 

You could be the cool, supportive guy that is her escape after being hit on by all these drunk guys desperate to get laid, but instead she'll be thinking the whole time how her boyfriend (which you aren't even yet anyway ) will be interrogating her about her night. Would you want to come home to this every night? A nagging girlfriend?

 

Weeding through people when you're looking for a relationship is exhausting. Do you think she will spend her time at work (which is exhausting enough) flirting with guys too?

 

BINGO. Cognac, read this over and over again. If she does decide to give you another shot you need to stop this nonsense.

 

You need to treat women each as their OWN INDIVIDUAL, not part of some big conspiracy against you to gnaw away at your insecurities. If you continue to think this way, it will be a vicious circle for you.