novack Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 okay short story sweet dated a girl for a year 1/2... she was my first love (i had been with many other girls), i was her first everything. We met during our freshman year of college, and broke up at the beg of this year ( i believe a guy entered her life...not sure doesn't matter) I did all the classic moves of a first big break-up i pleaded called and whined to no success. What the final kicker was running into her taking a guy home at 3 am.... So i'm 2 months broken up and 32 days NC (hard but been good for me) We have very similar social circles at school and she lives about 1 min away from me which sucks balls..... A mutual friend of ours is holding a party for an all you can drink charity and i would really like to go and my friends want me to go as well... I saw her last week (she didn't see me ) and i cringed at seeing her and had to restrain myself from saying hi (which was hard bc i'm generally a nice person in that regard).. The apartment is generally large but there is no doubt that she will see me and i her... i have no intention of talking to her maybe a quick hello and move on at most... I am just unsure if i could keep my emotions under wraps when i see her (not to have the urge to talk to her but the pain in my stomach i feel could be intense) What should i do, i hate living my life in fear of seeing her .. i want to be okay when i see her... What should i do guys???? Link to post Share on other sites
Author novack Posted November 11, 2009 Author Share Posted November 11, 2009 the guy she took home when i ran into her was the guy she made out with in front of me during our "break" stage...aka worst f u cking week of my life Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Since I don't know your state of mind I can't really give you advice but I will tell you my story. I actually started posting here because I was going to a function where my ex would be at with his new girlfriend. I was freaking out so bad I couldn’t eat for three days prior. Despite being scared I went anyways, I think it took me a dozen tries to actually get out the door that night. I went, I saw and it wasn’t even close to being as bad as I imagined it would be. He looked like crap and absolutely frightened when he saw me come in, his girlfriend was nothing special just sort of white trashy. I made sure the whole night I looked like I was having the time of my life. I left that a place feeling better about myself than I did in months. The moment that I stepped out of my comfort zone and faced my big fear is the moment that started my healing. Three months later and I’m completely over the guy. Good luck, hope you can keep it together. Link to post Share on other sites
Thebob Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 If your going with your buddies then it should be fine, but if you feel that you will freak out then don't go. You need to do what's best for you man. Who cares what she thinks, she can think whatever the hell she wants. She obviously is lower than you in life if she would do that to you, but girls can be girls. A great quote from point break with keanu reeves is that girls are young, dumb, and full of cum. Thebob Link to post Share on other sites
sean1970 Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 (edited) What should i do, i hate living my life in fear of seeing her .. i want to be okay when i see her... What should i do guys???? If you are in fear still, does that not indicate you are not ready? Im sure there are many here really believed they are fine and then freaked when they saw their ex. You seem to be freaking already... You mentioned that seeing her is inevitable, however, this is a social setting where you are expected to stay for hours... Match that with the "all you can drink" (translation, "I have all I need to do/say something Ill regret) and you have a very challenging situation. What if she brings someone, you going to be ok with that? If she does not, but has guys hitting on her, what then? The early exit you surely will make will be fairly obvious, yes? There just seems to be too many ways this can go wrong if you go, and only one way you can avoid them all if you are still into her... Her wondering why you are not there, and where you are, is better (IMO) than the possible wrong ways she could see you... Edited November 11, 2009 by sean1970 Link to post Share on other sites
McGrupp Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 pretty easy. you walk up to him, and ask politely "how does my dick taste?" Link to post Share on other sites
sean1970 Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 pretty easy. you walk up to him, and ask politely "how does my dick taste?" You've been watching Dr. Phil again... Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 LOL @ McGrupp. Link to post Share on other sites
Thebob Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 pretty easy. you walk up to him, and ask politely "how does my dick taste?" lol that is the funniest thing you have said ever Mcgrupp. Good to see a sense of humor on your end. Thebob Link to post Share on other sites
Author novack Posted November 11, 2009 Author Share Posted November 11, 2009 hahaha amazing i like the reeves quote and Mc's comment... I dunno i just already let this girl destroy my life for a good 2 months... how long does it have to continue... I will be uncomfortable, i am not nervous about saying anything wrong.. i just dont want to stop living my life cause of her (its gone on enough 2 months isn't a short amount of time) If she is with a guy/guys all over her of course i'll be upset.. but i would love to go to this party and party with my friends.. I would love to go to the party her be with a guy freak out a little, but manage to keep it together...that would be a big step for me... I'm just unsure if i can keep myself in check... haha still lost Link to post Share on other sites
twinklecat Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 If you feel ready, you should go, go with your instincts. Don't let her stop you living your life I have a party to go to in December where my ex will be there with his new toy, and I was contemplating not going either. But then I thought screw that! I'm not gonna stay in and mope, when I can and will have fun at this party. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Wow! Good for you, that took balls! Since I don't know your state of mind I can't really give you advice but I will tell you my story. I actually started posting here because I was going to a function where my ex would be at with his new girlfriend. I was freaking out so bad I couldn’t eat for three days prior. Despite being scared I went anyways, I think it took me a dozen tries to actually get out the door that night. I went, I saw and it wasn’t even close to being as bad as I imagined it would be. He looked like crap and absolutely frightened when he saw me come in, his girlfriend was nothing special just sort of white trashy. I made sure the whole night I looked like I was having the time of my life. I left that a place feeling better about myself than I did in months. The moment that I stepped out of my comfort zone and faced my big fear is the moment that started my healing. Three months later and I’m completely over the guy. Good luck, hope you can keep it together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author novack Posted November 11, 2009 Author Share Posted November 11, 2009 sorry one more thing.... again not wanting to lose anymore dignity (most of that went out the door with the pleading/deleting her/all her friends from facebook) I don't want to break 32 Days NC... which is really helping me... So can i go to the party and completely ignore her, even if she's beside me or am i simply being immature.. cause i really dont want to talk to her Link to post Share on other sites
sean1970 Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Im not saying that if anyone has truly moved on that they avoid the ex... It did not sound like he was 'ready' from his initial post... Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 I have the same problem THIS week. I'm so nervous already but I have a history of panic attacks so my nerves are less easy to hide. I have that feeling in my stomach too and feel dizzy and like I want to puke but i'm DETERMINED to go as its a friends birthday. We haven't seen each other in 8 months though so it feels scarier to me. I don't know what the 'right' or 'wrong' answer is but hopefully its a big enough venue and you can stick with your friends and avoid bumping into her too much. Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 I have the same problem THIS week. I'm so nervous already but I have a history of panic attacks Me too. Horrible panic attacks that led to agoraphobia. When I went to the function it was due or die. I didn't really leave the house for 3 months besides when I absolutely had to. I would feel like puking the whole time I was away from home and all I did was pretty much go to work. I just finally told myself I will only be worst if I keep sitting at home, the New Jersey Housewives on Bravo TV were becoming my best friends, might as well kill myself. You just have to tell yourself you can always leave if you don't feel comfortable. There is always a way out and you'll kick yourself in the butt if you at least don’t try. If you try and don't have a panic attack it will be so much easier the next time but if you do have a panic attack at least you tried and you can be proud of yourself for stepping outside of your comfort zone. Are you taking anything for the anxiety? Are you in therapy? If not you should really look into it. Panic can get out of hand very easily and take over your life. I know I’ve been dealing with it for 20 years. Link to post Share on other sites
tVII Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 i say NOOOOOO Link to post Share on other sites
Sysyphus28 Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 I can't tell you how many concerts and parties I did not attend because I knew my worthless ex was going to be thier. I knew if I ran into her I would feel like a jackass.........so, I did not go to the parties. It is easy to do something else. It is a whole lot better that getting drunk and making a fool out of yourself. Take the power back and make the wise decision. Don't go to a place where you will feel like sh**. okay short story sweet dated a girl for a year 1/2... she was my first love (i had been with many other girls), i was her first everything. We met during our freshman year of college, and broke up at the beg of this year ( i believe a guy entered her life...not sure doesn't matter) I did all the classic moves of a first big break-up i pleaded called and whined to no success. What the final kicker was running into her taking a guy home at 3 am.... So i'm 2 months broken up and 32 days NC (hard but been good for me) We have very similar social circles at school and she lives about 1 min away from me which sucks balls..... A mutual friend of ours is holding a party for an all you can drink charity and i would really like to go and my friends want me to go as well... I saw her last week (she didn't see me ) and i cringed at seeing her and had to restrain myself from saying hi (which was hard bc i'm generally a nice person in that regard).. The apartment is generally large but there is no doubt that she will see me and i her... i have no intention of talking to her maybe a quick hello and move on at most... I am just unsure if i could keep my emotions under wraps when i see her (not to have the urge to talk to her but the pain in my stomach i feel could be intense) What should i do, i hate living my life in fear of seeing her .. i want to be okay when i see her... What should i do guys???? Link to post Share on other sites
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