moimeme Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 Myths. Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 Originally posted by The Diplomat I'm no longer moping around and I feel confident enough to go out and have fun again. I guess it is entirely true that "what goes around, comes around." I am a living example of that. Nothing greater than to be able to turn the tables and not let a thoughless ex keep your heart hostage! I feel absolutely great! While I absolutely agree that you should not take her back or have anything to do with her, this is not a case of what goes around comes around. YOU weren't left with a baby, another human life, to care for. I also think it's a bit screwed up that you are feeling confident because her life is royally messed up - much more than yours was when she cheated and dumped you. What has your confidence got to do with her struggling now to give birth and raise a child properly all alone? I can understand getting some satisfaction that the guy she cheated with has dumped her. I can understand when a little revenge feels good. But what I think what you are feeling is not confidence, it's gloating. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 Diplomat may be gloating a bit, but he's entitled to feel some righteous indignation. I think the "confidence" he mentioned is in reference to him feeling good about saying "no" to her; earlier in his post he referred to himself as a simp and somebody who was badly treated and betrayed (which he was). Having been there myself, I know that it takes a lot for a betrayed SO to not go rushing back to the cheater when they come and beg you to take them back. Successfully saying no is difficult, no doubt about it, but it can also be a huge shot of self-confidence. My to-be-ex-wife cheated on me many times, before and after our marriage. She begged me twice to come back, and both times I refused. We did spend a few days talking reconcilliation after that, but that discussion made us both realize that we couldn't save the marriage. But, as the one who had been comprehensively betrayed, I did take some satisfaction from the fact that she tried to come crawling back. So, I think Diplomat has a license to gloat, as long as he does it privately from now on (i.e. he shouldn't call her up and do it). He's said his piece to her, and she knows what he thinks. Now he can concentrate on himself, and his rebuilding. Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 reservoirdog1 -- Yes, I understand what you're saying and I agree. Link to post Share on other sites
X Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 I think it is funny that her life is ****ed up now. What she done to him deserves the worst kind of punishment. All you sympathetic liberals are crazy; she doesn't deserve forgiveness, she deserves to be taunted & laughed at. I know how it feels to be done like his & he is entitled to all the revenge he can get. Link to post Share on other sites
kathyd Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 X - what a bitter, bitter man nobody deserves to be treated that way, no matter what they did we are all humans who make mistakes. i feel sorry for her and how she has f*cked up her life, all of her own doing Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 nobody deserves to be treated that way, no matter what they did I couldn't agree more. Too bad, isn't it, that people are so good at holding on to grudges and anger for such a long time? Would that they devoted as much energy and effort to preserving love for lengthy periods of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 I think there is a BIG difference in taunting or wishing the worst on someone....as opposed to being adamant about them not coming back into your life. Sometimes the only way to accomplish that is to remember what they did and how long it took you to get back to some normality in life. The pain of betrayal and disappointment in someone can be such an intense pain, that IF you get to a place where you can tell them face to face you WILL NOT try again....it's not a victory against them....it's a victory FOR yourself. It's a wonderful feeling to know you've conquered someone else having control of your heart. Not to mention...just getting to a place within yourself where you can breathe without it hurting. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 14, 2003 Share Posted December 14, 2003 I think there is a BIG difference in taunting or wishing the worst on someone....as opposed to being adamant about them not coming back into your life. Sometimes the only way to accomplish that is to remember what they did and how long it took you to get back to some normality in life. Absolutely! I'm a big fan of making the 'stuff the jerk did' list and rereading it often! Link to post Share on other sites
DragonflyX Posted December 15, 2003 Share Posted December 15, 2003 I think your response was totally understandable. I would have probably been kinder but then I am probably a doormat Link to post Share on other sites
BklynGuy Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 If I were you I'd be laughing at her also. She deserves what she got from her guy. Many women find good men and dump them for some other idiot. When they figure out the new guy is an idiot, they want the old guy back. That's crazy. You're supposed to hold onto good love when you find it - so let her regret it! Let her cry and wimper and suffer as you did. Forgiveness is important as we are all flawed in one way or another. I would be glad that she's screwed up & don't ever give this woman another moment of your time. We teach others how to treat us. Link to post Share on other sites
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