Why do some stay in bad relationships?

[FarFetched]

I have always had concerns about my wife, mainly whether she would be mature enough to deal with relationship issues and tough times that are part of every marriage. This has proven true, and logically, I know that these issues aren't going away and she'll always question her marriage. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things I absolutely love and cherish about her. But, those things aside, sometimes we just don't seem compatible.

 

I find that I will reach a decision to end it, because she hasn't shown me that she wants this to work. She says it, and tells me she's taking steps to move out here (cross country), and tells me to not pack up her things or get my own furniture yet. However certain and logical that decision seems to me, I find myself going back and trying to save the marriage over and over. Any indication she gives that she might be interested, I find myself right back at square one, confused about the future.

 

I know other people may have gone through something similar. Why do we hold on to relationships we suspect are bad for us, even though we suspect there are people much better for us out there? Is it the mystery of getting back into the unknown? Losing that companionship with somebody who knows us? Wondering if we'll find somebody good? It all seems ridiculous to me, when I am thinking logical. But, I find myself missing her and wanting her back regardless of how little sense it probably makes to outsiders. (My family, friends, colleagues who know about the situation ALL think I should cut ties and move on).

 

But, why is it so damned difficult?

[darkgold]

Because she is your wife (ok, duh) and what you subconciously cherish are the good moments you have spent together, her good points and her charecteristics. Perhaps you have a more loving heart (dare I say..eeek) but yes it is very difficult to move on. People say it's all got to do with male ego, I don't think so. You obviously still value her company despite the odds and have a sense of hope. Just follow the old saying-love is blind. That's what you are, what I am (it's been a week since I broke off with me ex who was a total tosser that I was beginning to love and I only knew him for about a MONTH)and what a lot of other people are. But you know it takes two, not only to mend a heart but to break one. Accept what went wrong on both your part and that we're not time travellers to make it better, so forget the ifs, remember where you are now-you have a supporting family and network of friends. They are there to help you overcome it, but don't just select one particular member, they are ALL there for you.

 

As long as you're not some weird stalker I think a lot of loving and caring women out there would appreciate a man of your charecteristics-the general idea is that men have no feelings and find it so much more easier to move on. It would be refresing to just to have a change so that we could realise you as a person and not just another male jerk.