sweetmind20 Posted December 10, 2003 Share Posted December 10, 2003 hello, i just wondered people's opinons. i have heard all the talk about men not being particularly monagomous creatures.. and i while i know that there are cases where guys control their urges i wonder how reasonable i am being about marrying someone who has only ever had one sexual partner: me. i love this person with all that i am. and while i know in my heart that i could be satisfied making love to only him for the rest of my life.. i don't know if the odds are against me. men like variation and experiences.. he has only had me. i suppose i worry cuz i start thinking about how things do start slowing down as you have kids and get older.. i am just worried that marrying him when he has only had me as a bed partner will set him up for disappointment.. esp. as we get older and he may start wishing he had had more experiences.. what do you guys think about situations like this? thanks so much. this is really bothering me.. i would appreciate any opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Well I'm not a guy but as you haven't had replies (come on guys!!) I share my view. It will be an issue for some men but not for others so as long as he seems happy I wouldn't worry about it. I know of men with very little experience before marriage who have remained married, monogomous and happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 I agree. Depends on the guy. My guy is VERY moral and trustworthy and I know he would never dream of cheating on me, even if I was his only one. He feels so strongly about these things, and doesn't care that he hasn't had very many sexual partners (he was married before he met me). Just focus on keeping things passionate at home and you should both stay happy with each other! In my opinion, the risks of him, or anyone else cheating, would still be there, even if he had had more partners than just you. I think it just comes down to the individual, and being able to trust. Be happy in your love. Link to post Share on other sites
steveb Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 OK, I am 33, and have only made love to one woman ever. I met her when she turned 17 and have been with her for 14 years. My wife keeps things interesting in the bedroom, we are still trying new things after 14 years. I have no desire to sleep with another woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 How refreshing to hear that steveb. I am sure your words will help put sweetmind20 at little more at ease. I also think sex with one partner over a longterm can be much more fullfilling and wonderful, than sex with different short term partners. You grow closer and things get better and better, especially if you keep things exciting and interesting. Sweetmind, f you are still worried, maybe you could talk to your partner about some of your fears, and hopefully he'll be able to put your mind at ease. Be open and communicate. Link to post Share on other sites
Neo Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 I would not mind one woman. I am all for monogamy and feel that if there is a problem, new things can be thought up to make things more interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetmind20 Posted December 11, 2003 Author Share Posted December 11, 2003 thank you everyone who replied. it is good to hear that there are still honest, loyal people out there. your replies did ease my heart. though i do intend to further explore the subject with my fiancee. thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
theonet Posted December 13, 2003 Share Posted December 13, 2003 I am a 40+ year old, very sexual, male We, as humans, are both animals and sentient beings. As an animal, there are many women that I desire sexually. As a thinking, caring, soul, I know acting only as an animal is unfulfilling and uncaring. For me, sex is a joining of two loving souls in the pursuit of blessed ecstasy. As partners we continue learning about our own and each others sexuality. It just keeps getting better. If he makes the commitment to be monogamous and has the integrity, he will be. Does he have the integrity? Open, honest communication about sex is important. Remember to listen and not judge. We are wired differently, men and women, and our differences should be embraced, not feared. The book that helped me the most is called "The MultiOrgasmic Man, Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know". I think you should read it first, as your participation is mandatory. Best wishes, Ty Link to post Share on other sites
blockndig Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 I am a 21 year old male, and have had sex one time before my girlfriend of one year. I have thought about this a lot, and I feel that one partner for the rest of my life is something that I could do. I have tossed and turned on this subject, I too want to experience things in life, and for me instead of it being 1 woman, I have fantatsies about mulitple women... I think my desire was increased when I became somewhat jealous over past threesomes that my girlfriend has had, and I know that the things she did had nothing to do with me, and she truly regrets them and wishes she hadn't experienced that. I wanted to be able to say that I too wished I hadn't had a three some, and that I regreted even doing it... but alas, I have not, and I think I will not. She told me that she would do it if I wanted to, but she honestly did not want to... she knows that I am a man in a time where exploration is a huge part of life, especially sexual exploration. I think through talking about it, and about life and about us, I have come to the conclusion that I don't need those other things. I have grown to understand that there are things in life that I will never experience and some things are not meant to be experienced for certain people. I dont mean to get spiritual or anything, but things seem to fall together in a certain way, and if it happens it happens. I can't pass this girl up because of a fantasy that I will probably regret later anyway. I think that is part of growing up and being a man, and being in a healthy relationship. You talk about what is on your mind, you think about the options, you understand each other and grow closer and can eventually move on. So I do feel that your man can have sex with one partner and be completely satisfied with you and only you. But I've said it once and I'll say it again, every situation is different and every person is different, so communication is the only way to truly get anywhere... besides I guess I have an unfair advantage, I was raised by 3 women. Link to post Share on other sites
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