LDR Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 This might be funny, but. . . I am a 28 y/o female, still leaving with my parents as I am still a student. My boyfriend and I are in a LDR and last time he was visiting me, when we had sex, we couldn't find a missing condom. My parents are very old fashioned in the "waiting until you get married", and very overprotective. . . they found the condom today. Even if I am an adult, moving out of my house next year, they still see me as a child. They are upset with me and it is a very uncomfortable situation. . . specially as my boyfriend is visiting again soon. Anyone ever had a similar situation? How to deal with it? Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 Been there done that. How I dealt with it? I just let it go, my mom and dad will have to get used to it and deal with it. I might be their kid, but they will have to let me go do my thing. I didn't say a thing and they didn't mention it. All is well to let them be in denial! Link to post Share on other sites
Quinch Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 At least they didn't find the KY Jelly and strap-on dildo Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 If they have the balls to bring it up again, make fun of them for it. Tell them theres more condoms hiding in the house like easter eggs. If you dont take it seriously, they have to let it go. They already know you didnt wait for marriage, so they have no case anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 At least they didn't find the KY Jelly and strap-on dildo Or worse yet is when you find THEIR stash! :lmao::eek: Link to post Share on other sites
demrea Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 they really expected you to waste your once in a lifetime youthful sexuality? i could understand if you were 17, but an adult human has sexual needs. would they expect you to not do other things that all humans are entitlted to? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LDR Posted November 14, 2009 Author Share Posted November 14, 2009 I like boogieboy's advise:laugh: And demrea, yes. . . they are very conservative and expected me to wait until marriage. It has been less awkward these past days, I guess they are getting used to the idea. . . at least it has not been mentioned again. Link to post Share on other sites
Boundary Problem Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 (edited) Just ride it out. Hopefully they are quietly happy (but never would admit it) that you are using protection. At the end of the day, you have your own life path and they have theirs. Each to their own. I'm editing to add this - If they were going to kick you out, they would have done that. So they must not be toooo upset about it. Right? Edited November 15, 2009 by Boundary Problem Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 If it becomes any kind of issue, you basically need to tell them to butt out. You're nearly 30, for chrissakes. So they're traditional and believe sex should wait until marriage. Bully for them. You're an adult, and you have different views. They have no right to object, and no right to be angry at you or to even question you about it. Quite simply, it's none of their fycking business. And if they pull some kind of "not while you're living under our roof" BS, then you need to move out. Pure and simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Sakakawea Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 Never been in that situation. Even if they disagree, they should still be thankful you're being safe. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggs Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 When my LDR fiance visits me, we usually take a couple of trips out of town and stay in a hotel for some alone time. Yes we sleep in the same bed when we're at my parents house, but it's a small house and we both personally feel it's more respectful to get a hotel room! Maybe this is something you should consider. Would you be happy if you heard them having sex or finding their condoms in your house when they visited? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LDR Posted November 16, 2009 Author Share Posted November 16, 2009 Thanks for all the replies I agree with the above posters: they should be grateful I am protecting myself! It is not exactly inside my house, there is a small house on our backyard which is where he stays, so they can't hear us from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggs Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 Thanks for all the replies I agree with the above posters: they should be grateful I am protecting myself! It is not exactly inside my house, there is a small house on our backyard which is where he stays, so they can't hear us from there. Do you pay any rent for this spot? If you do...then they can't say a thing to you. It's your personal space. If you don't...then yea, I'd still get a hotel room next time! And it's nicer to go away for a few days. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 I can't understand why is it parents get freak out if their already adult child, esp. a woman has already gotten laid... Human nature, hello.. what do you expect.. a nun, one of those woman that virginal and likes praying?? Seems like so many parents like the idea of their daughter to be an innocent doll with no experience forever.. Get real already.. Second, what good does it accomplished placing shame on the kid, esp. a girl when it comes to sexuality and relationship, why do many parents expect the girl to be innocent, naive and traditional??? Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 Its their house, their rules. Next time he visits stay at a hotel. Link to post Share on other sites
TwinkletOes26 Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 Their house their rules when it comes to what goes on in THEIR house. As far as what she choosesto do sexually is NONE of their business. Theres a difference in trying to make sure their house runs in an orderly fashion such as who cleans what. Calling if shes going to stay out all night ect ect ect but to try to tell her when she can have sex all that is just about control. Next time go to a hotel if possible..this will blow over i promise you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LDR Posted November 16, 2009 Author Share Posted November 16, 2009 (edited) I understand it is their house and their rules, but as TwinkletOes26 said, what I do sexually is none of their business. My mother came to me when she found it saying that she was nauseous and repulsed, asking me when was the first time I had done that, and why I did it. I would understand if I was 16 or so, but damn it, I'm 28! Edited November 16, 2009 by LDR Link to post Share on other sites
TwinkletOes26 Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 I know the next thing coming is "if you dont like it move" well its not that easy especially in these times. Jobs are hard to come by and shes in med school. Her parents should get over themselves and realize although she lives with them there are boundries. Just because they chose to wait doesnt mean she should have to. Should she be doing it on their property NO but if she goes to a hotel and does it there then they have no say so. Thats like trying to control her BODY. Thats just them trying to control her morals and values. Disclaimer : this is MY opinon no one has to agree but if it doesnt line up with yours thats fine but it doesnt make mine any more right or wrong than yours. Im trying to help this poor woman with her issue is all Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 At least they didn't find the KY Jelly and strap-on dildo Or the numbing cream for backdoor pleasure Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 You're 2 years shy of 30, they need to see you as an adult and honestly, the only way to do that is to..Move out. Rent a room or something from somone else, another family member or a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Boundary Problem Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 Don't let your mom make you feel ashamed of your sexual activities. It is all perfectly natural. Just excruciatingly uncomfortable when there is a TMI oopsies like this. Link to post Share on other sites
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