hbiggs Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 Ok, I guess I should be used to it by now, we've been together for over 3 years. And I don't want to pretend that we both haven't done things to hurt each other, but lately.... And this is just from yesterday. We are out to dinner and he says I have a problem. I want to have Thanksgiving catered in by this cajun resturant and my family who is visiting my new home for the first time wants to do a traditional dinner. He said what do you think? I said I don't know let me think about it. He says well for all these years I have gone to their home and sometimes they have pumpkin pie and sometimes they don't and I don't complain. So this morning after thinking about it I sent him an email saying that missing the pumpkin pie is a little different than substituting cajun meal for turkey. And he sent me an email back griping at me and the short of it was he said I should worry about my family and he will worry about his. Why? Why? Why? do I even try. And why does it still upset me. I have a lump in my throat now typing this. He has always been this way. Now he won't talk to me for 2 weeks. When he does, he will never say sorry or even elude to the fact that he has said or done anything wrong or hurtful. Last time..which wasn't very long ago, he told me baseball (which is my favorite thing in the world) was corrupt, just like religion, knowing how involved I am with my church. When he finally called to say congrats on my team winning the world series, I jokingly said I was deaf from all the corruptness that goes on in my life and he said hey you know what just take the compliment. Someone please tell me, something. I am out of things to say to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Princess1985 Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 ok, well,... I think that he was so rude for telling you that in the e-mail! He asked you what you thought,..and so you gave him a answer. I dont think that its fair that he gave that response. It was mean, and cold hearted. I think you should tell him that. Dont let weeks go by. ...and if he wants pumkin pie, Tell him to go buy one! ..or bake one. Pumkin pie problem solved! ...and tell him to not be so cold hearted to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Yes, he is rude. But what is much worse is that he punishes you by giving you the silent treatment/cold shoulder, which many consider to be emotionally abusive and is a huge red flag of craptacular communication skills and major control issues at best, and he will never admit any wrongdoing or apologize for shoddy behavior. Those are terrible indicators for the health of a longterm relationship. It's been 3 years, you already know he won't change...and it sounds like it's making you miserable. It's certainly impacting your holiday spirit. The only person who can end it is you. My advice would be to move on before you do something really stupid like marry the guy. Link to post Share on other sites
CLC2008 Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Why don't you have cajun dinner and the Turkey? I'm not sure why he's that upset over a pumpkin pie, but you could make him one or buy it yourself since he likes it. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Why? Why? Why? do I even try. i really don't know When he finally called to say congrats on my team winning the world series, beg pardon but if you're a yankees fan i can no longer assist Link to post Share on other sites
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