Slainte Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 I recently heard news that what I had naively thought of as a happy marriage with a number of young children was in fact a nightmare scenario of mental abuse, severely affecting the children as well from the wife involved. I have very little contact with the family but am a male relation of the young woman involved. From what I've heard so far, I'm concerned as to where things are heading as they have visibly worsened over the last year, and societal norms would tell me not to get involved in another families dispute, but I feel that something will have to be done soon or it may end in a breakdown and lost of child custody for the severely depressed wife and/or suicide. Two females close to her have also learned over the situation and are attempting to push the wife towards support services but I fear that she will refuse these services due to her "love" for her abusive husband. Link to post Share on other sites
HarmonyHope Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Are these kids school age? If what's going on at home is really negatively affecting them, chances are that the school will have noticed. If they aren't school age, in daycare, etc, I'd be even more concerned that there's less people contacting these kids to ensure their safety. Give some thought to calling social services - they can be a little more forceful about getting her involved with services (and getting him involved with services) to resolve the issues. You can call anonymously. If Ireland's like the rest of Europe, the folks they send to the homes are master's level psychology/social work and are very very good at what they do. I understand people's hesitation to get involved in things like this....but consider how you will feel if something bad happens and you did not intervene. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 we've got a similar situation in my family, and so far, the law has sided with the abuser, because he's very clever in presenting himself as the one being wronged. So unless you can back up claims that abuse is going on with hard evidence, you have no case ... slainte, there is no possible way you will be able to convince her to leave the situation if her heart is set on staying. The best thing you can do is to let her know that she can count on the support of her friends, because I guarantee her abuser is doing what he can to keep the family isolated so the behavior can continue. Link to post Share on other sites
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