Would you run a background check on your SO?

[Mrs_AJ]

Hi guys,

 

so following on from a discussion from a previous thread I would like to ask the following:

 

1) Would you run a background check on a potential partner you've known online but haven't met yet in real life?

 

2) If yes, what is you reason for it?

 

3) If no, why not?

 

4) Have you ever run a background check on a partner?

 

Many thanks

[ann09]

absolutely.

 

i've never done this - but i think the $50 you spend would be very much worth the peace of mind.

[Mikau]

I met someone online whose story seemed too coincidental to be true, so I googled her and her story to see if it checked out. I don't want to waste time on something that's only out to hurt/play with me, so I don't see why you wouldn't check up on it.

[Mr-T]

In all fairness, I met my wife online (abeit not on a dating site) but I never did any background checks. Its not fair on the other person because if your prying into there past before you've actually met them then whats it going to be like if you have a relationship.

[Ecosse]

If you havent met the person in real life... aka internet only, I think it completely prudent to run a background check on the person. Who is to say that he/she doesnt have a history of criminal activity that could put you in direct danger (directly or indirectly).

 

Once a relationship is formed I think that as time goes on backgrounds should be disclosed. If not would you want to form a relationship with someone who has a dark history that they never disclosed? I wouldnt...

[Lucky_One]

I haven't ever paid for a background check. But I have done plenty of Googling! I have checked property records to see who actually owned his home, cross-referenced with zabasearch to see if his home number/address was also used by another person, done a dirtsearch.org search to see if they had a criminal record.

 

I happened to chat with a guy once upon a time (I was still married way back then), and I thought he was a nice enough guy. He confessed his love for me in a series of rambling, horribly written poems that he set to music, and I tried to gradually back away. Until he tried to blackmail me into leaving my H for him (excuse me - we had never even MET - and he was freaking me out by this time), so I told my H about him, and we got a RO against him. Had I just looked into his background, I would have seen that he had a long history of alcohol and drug arrests, assault charges on siblings and on XGFs, and was twice divorced. I even found out his parole officer's name and contacted her, so that if he left his state and came to mine, she could have a warrant put out for him ASAP.

 

There are a LOT of whackjobs on the internet. A lot of nice people, but a lot of whackjobs.

 

As Brad Paisley says.....

'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood

I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good

I drive a Maserati

I'm a black-belt in karate

And I love a good glass of wine

It turns girls on that I’m mysterious

I tell them I don't want nothing serious

'Cause even on a slow day

I could have a three way

Chat with two women at one time

I’m so much cooler online

So much cooler online

 

He didn't come up with the idea for the song because of one random case of Internet ID Lying - it is rampant.

[VeveCakes]

Exactly!

 

I am all about the googling. Thats how I found out my ex bf was using steroids and selling them black market. Sketchy!!

[KikiW]

Hell, my MOTHER googled my SO.

 

I see nothing wrong with double-checking someone's story. It's so easy to hide behind a computer screen. I didn't do a background check simply because I've found most of those places are rip offs. Can find most of the info they pull by just doing the legwork yourself.