Venéa Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 It's a simple question. The majority of men I know are incredibly tactless and this gets them into trouble with their girlfriends sometimes. So, can I ask why? Are they dumb enouth to do this without realising it pisses others off? For the love of God, someone tell me because I can't quite work it out. Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 They are dumb enough. Link to post Share on other sites
yogi-mon Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Because we dont always give a $hit about weither your "happy" or not. Its not our responsibility to keep you happy and follow your rules on what you think is/isnt ok. One could ask and extend the same question and get the same response. Why are women so tactless? Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Could be a few things. 1) We don't think ahead of time and just speak. 2) We think we're being funny and expect a laugh. 3) We're morons. My ex once told me, "The coolest thing happened to me today!" and I asked, "Am I going to care?" expecting her to dismiss it and say, "No but I'll tell you anyway." But she took it seriously. That's the day our relationship began to die. WHOOPS. Well, I thought it was funny at the time... Link to post Share on other sites
yogi-mon Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 the more attention I give to being tactful towards a woman, the more she realizes I care, the less of course she cares, and the more then she cares about the fact that I was or wasnt tactful treat her like **** and the word tactless will never even come into her mind. treat her like gold and well, everything you do will be scruntized. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Originally posted by UCFKevin My ex once told me, "The coolest thing happened to me today!" and I asked, "Am I going to care?" expecting her to dismiss it and say, "No but I'll tell you anyway." Well, I thought it was funny at the time... I would think it was funny if a guy said it to me....especially since I DO have a tendency to share some pretty boring events of my day. My old boyfriend told me "If I say something and you take it the wrong way.....I meant it the other way.". It's a quote from somewhere.....but holds true. Sometimes people, especially guys, say things they mean as funny or in a joking manner....and females DO have a tendency of taking it the wrong way. I even do it at work sometimes till a guy says "HEY....can't you take a joke????". Ofcourse they DID call me 'Little Miss Booby Nailpolish'....HAHA! I don't think men are morons or tactless. They just have a different way of communicating. If women will listen to men when they converse with their friends.....they will see that funny, yet seemingly strange, cuts are one of the ways they communicate with each other. Think of it this way....males actually say in public....what females only share conversationally in the bathroom with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
wiseOLDman Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Tact is nothing more than sugar-coated honesty. Men go thru life tippy-toeing around trying to be tactful with women. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. Think about a typical scenario between man and wife which is, essentially, a decision tree. Wife: "How does this outfit look?" Husband has 3 options: 1) "That looks nice" 2) "I don't care for it" 3) "It's OK, but I like the other one better" Wife asked husband a very direct question and husband provided 3 very direct answers. But: Answer 1 results in- "Do you like it better than the other one?" Answer 2 results in- "What don't you like about it?" Answer 3 results in- "Why do you like the other one better?" We now get into an area that most men strive to avoid. We have to explain something tactfully, when we thought we were being pretty clear in the first place. We know there's going to be a battle until one of two things occur: 1) Wife gets the answer she wanted to hear in the first place or 2) Husband's sleeping on the couch tonight. So ladies, we're not being tactful, nor are we being tactless. We're trying to read your minds. History has long shown that this is a fruitless endeavor. Sooooo if we say: 1) "That looks nice"- We're either lying or telling the truth, you figure it out. 2) "I don't care for it"- We're telling the truth, but unfortunately you think we're being tactless and mean. 3) "It's OK, but I like the other on better"- We don't really like it but we'd rather not be bothered with having to make this decision because it's only going to lead to trouble. See, it's really not that difficult Link to post Share on other sites
cdn Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 See, it's really not that difficult Yikes- that sounds exhausting! Maybe because I don't even ask my husband those sorts of questions. But we do have problems with the mind reading you mentioned. When I ask my husband what he wants to do or eat or {fill in the blank}, he will invariably answer with what he thinks *I* want to do, rather than what he really wants to do. We have on more than one occasion ended up doing something neither of us particularly wanted to do simply because he thought he was picking what I wanted and I thought I was going along with what he wanted. Erg. So WiseOld, since you mentioned this mind-reading thing, care to share why you men engage in it? Link to post Share on other sites
yogi-mon Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 So WiseOld, since you mentioned this mind-reading thing, care to share why you men engage in it? Its very simple. Women EXPECT to have thier minds read. Cause when we screw up, and do something you didnt want (but never told us what you did want in the first place) we get in **** because we didnt "read your mind" So we try to "read your mind" Link to post Share on other sites
cdn Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Women EXPECT to have thier minds read. Not this woman. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
yogi-mon Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 take for example this situation. man says to wife I want to buy a car she sais ok, i think you should get a truck. he sais, ok good idea. he buys a truck. she sees it. she sais, its perfect, except its the wrong colour. ----- she expected him to know what colour to get. If she cared about colour she should have said "red truck" etc. Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 i dont expect my mind read.... i tell it like it is...... Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 My Guideline for Understanding Men (sent to me by one) * Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! * Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. * Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. * Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. *If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. * If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. * You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. * Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. * ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. * If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. * Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. Link to post Share on other sites
wiseOLDman Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 A very wise friend you have, indeed, Arabess. Words to live by ladies. * Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. An addendum- They are perfectly acceptable and Yes means Yes and No means No and, unless you significantly alter the question, they will remain so. Link to post Share on other sites
cdn Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 * If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. This one made me chuckle. Actually, many of them did. Thanks for posting, Arabess. But now I have a question: Why do women ask other women "Does this make me look fat?" -- in reference to some outfit or another? What on earth is the right answer to this? Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Originally posted by cdn "Does this make me look fat?" -- in reference to some outfit or another? What on earth is the right answer to this? The "other" outfit was more flattering!! LOL. I think men don't realize that women have a lumpier bumpier body than they do. It really DOES matter what we wear as to how we look our best. I'm 5/6-7 and weigh 130-134. I'm not overweight. BUT...I can wear the wrong thing and my A$$ looks as big as Texas! Link to post Share on other sites
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