yogi-mon Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Please let me know. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 I think it comes across as a 'nag' Yogi because women feel they have to remind men often of any number of things. Instead of waiting on a time frame which may be unique to the male involved....we keep saying it and saying it....until we get a suitable end result. I never realized how much I did this until my 11 year old pointed it out. Then again, he IS forgetful and may not apply the same priority as I would prefer. I'm sure I've done the same thing in relationships and with guys at work.....and didn't even notice it. hmmmmmm....maybe that's why I'm single. I am not FIT to live with.....LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca4257 Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Well, you're talking to one woman who DOES NOT nag her husband. I don't believe in it. He's a friggin' grown man. Yeah, he does stuff that pisses me off but it does NO good to nag! Hear that out there women? All it does is make him act worse. Actually, he nags me a lot worse than I do him! Link to post Share on other sites
Author yogi-mon Posted December 11, 2003 Author Share Posted December 11, 2003 so many women nag and the funny part is, nagging is probably one of the most unattractive qualities i can think of in a girlfriend. It reminds us of our mothers... in a bad way. Link to post Share on other sites
My2Cents Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Because men are too dumb to figure things out on their own so they need to be constantly reminded about everyday common sense things..... I don't realy mean that, I just hate when people "generalize" but then what else should we expect for Little-Yogi.... Link to post Share on other sites
wiseOLDman Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 My wife doesn't nag, but my mother-in-law overcompensates for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yogi-mon Posted December 11, 2003 Author Share Posted December 11, 2003 your right 2cents, i shouldnt generalize but ALOT of women do nag.. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Originally posted by wiseOLDman My wife doesn't nag, but my mother-in-law overcompensates for her. Too funny Wise!!!!! Yogi....try not to consider it always as being a NAG....sometimes it's a simple "love shove".....LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
My2Cents Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Thanks for realizing Yogi.... but a lot of people do a lot of things.......generalizing and stereotypings annoy me soooooo much! Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 I don't believe I would qualify as a "nagger," but I have been throwing a lot of Christmas hints about how much I need a garbage disposal! (Tired of standing over the sink unclogging the drain with a kitchen fork!) So what exactly qualifies as "nagging" to most men? What kind of things are they tired of their ladies complaining about? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Scenario - any house you can name: Woman has a million things to do, asks for help: 'dear, could you take out the garbage for me while I (insert any number of other chores on the list; she'll have to do most of them so pick anything you can think of)?' Man replies 'sure' Garbage sits. Several hours. Nothing else fits in bag. Still sits. Woman knows if she does it, he'll get mad. Wants to know if it will be done. Asks again 'dear, do you think you could take the garbage out soon? There's no room in the bag.' (resumes items 12, 13, 14 on list of chores) Man replies 'sure' Garbage still sits. Several hours more. Woman grits teeth. Has worked her a$$ off and only asked him to do one thing. Says again 'dear, could you PLEASE take the garbage out now?' Man 'WHYTHEHELL ARE YOU ALWAYS NAGGING ME? ALL YOU DO IS NAG, NAG, NAG' Now how many of you have NOT been part of a similar discussion? Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 i don't nag at all, but i was definitely socialized not to. my dad also called it the single most unattractive thing a woman could do - not that mom would be tempted, anyway. also - i just kind of don't care - i would rather the chore did not get done, and the man feel respected, than place priority on a clean house. as a side note, making grandiose insupportable statements about women is an equally alarming thing for a boy to do Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Thanks for the clarification, Moimeme! Just asked my partner if he ever thought I 'nagged.' His reply was: "Hxll no, you don't nag!"... of course, his dinner is sitting on the stove (smart man!) I'm with Jenny. I'm no "neat nick" so I could care less if the garbage is spilling over or I lose the car in the lawn. But I remember my mother complaining all the time about my father's nagging --- Of course, he referred to it as "belly-aching." I guess the difference in terms is equivalent to women gossiping vs. men who are just shooting-the-shxt. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Fine to say, but when it becomes a serious imbalance in fairness, when one person expects the other to be the person to take responsibility for all the household chores and constantly fails to deliver on promises to participate? Nice and high-falutin' to take such saintly stances on this. The very same people who would insist a woman leave a relationship where the man never pulled his weight, I'm guessing. Guess we haven't come a long way after all, have we? What if it's your roommate rather than a male spouse? What if you are both male roommates? What if this is a work situation and your colleague continually promises to assist you with your workload but never delivers? And how are any of these things different? How is it not 'respecting' anybody to expect them to deliver as promised? Is it not them failing to respect you by promising and then not delivering? I'm not talking about every now and then, either. I'm talking consistently. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Perhaps all women nag at you. Maybe you ought to look at yourself for the answer to your question...just a suggestion. Link to post Share on other sites
Juicy Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 I"ll give my 2 cents to this topic... Now i'm not completely innocent in this regard, but I don't consider myself a major 'nagger' either. I think some women nag because consciously or subconsciously they don't feel that they are being 'heard' by their man. (Most) men have difficulty with 'talking/communicating/expressing themselves' and (most) women NEED to talk. If she feels she is not being 'heard' or he doesn't make time for her, especially when life is busy and there are many things that need to be communicated (bills, chores, schedules, kids, etc - and not only that but communication on a deep personal level), then consciously or subconsciously she takes this out on him by nagging. It's like....trying to get his attention. It's like, you're disappointed in him and it's like when someone makes you upset, you fight back (instinctual). And when you have a visual, valid example in front of you, like the garbage needs to be taken out and it's his job, (its just the next thing that you see/think of regarding him) and you've asked him 5 times already, well, it becomes "Honey, can you take the garbage out NOW??" Everything about him seems to upset you.... Link to post Share on other sites
Caddy Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Originally posted by Tony Perhaps all women nag at you. Maybe you ought to look at yourself for the answer to your question...just a suggestion. I agree with Tony on that! Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Originally posted by Tony Perhaps all women nag at you. Maybe you ought to look at yourself for the answer to your question...just a suggestion. Originally posted by Caddy I agree with Tony on that! Well HOT DIGGITY DOG!!! CAN I HEAR AN AMEN TO THAT !!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Caddy Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Originally posted by lostforwords Well HOT DIGGITY DOG!!! CAN I HEAR AN AMEN TO THAT !!!!!!!!!! I'VE SEEN THE LIGHT! AMEN MY SISTAH!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 it's an interesting topic. i think i just don't see myself as in charge of the house, or in charge of cleanliness. and i've been really really lucky to have fairly considerate men. i suppose i just assume if anyone should be nagged it's going to be me. sometimes, though, the xmas tree has still been up in late february, and i just don't mind. if it was his, he'll get to it when he gets to it. if it was mine, same. i'd zone out, beraggled passive-aggressive style, if someone nagged me, i suppose i assume most guys feel the same way. but i do know lack of nagging works to my social advantage, definitely. it's self-interest at heart - i'd rather be associated with fun and indulgence than chores. so what if it's messy sometimes? we always pull it together when it counts. Link to post Share on other sites
Juicy Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 so what if it's messy sometimes? we always pull it together when it counts. Well what if its more important things like, he doesn't flush the toilet or he doesn't pay a bill on time and it impacts on you. Yes, what if it impacts on you? Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 that's a good question - i'm definitely speaking from the lazy priviledged position of never really having had a problem with guys about this. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 Oh, Juicy. Just let the lovable dear do what he wants. No need for him to do his bit - after all, women were made to serve, weren't we? Heaven forfend we believe in being equal partners!!! Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 it's not really that. i don't do much either. in fact, i would say i do about 40% while my male roommate does easily 60%. for some reason, i just don't see that it's my job to make sure the house is clean. so if it is not, it's not up to me to make sure it is. but i definitely take the point that his actions, or lack thereof, have no real impact on me. i think it would be a different kitten altogether if i was counting on him to pay bills, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 ... to let the garbage sit, let your man "feel respected" -- despite the fact that he hasn't managed to do the thing he said he would do. You can step around the full-to-the-brim garbage can. You can be careful about balancing a few more items on top of it so that the whole thing doesn't tip over. But when a woman is not only doing her "half" (sometimes more like 80-90%) of the household chores/bill paying/etc, but is also trying to manage a house with children, it's sometimes actually necessary that, yes, the garbage go out sooner rather than later. Because the six year old won't be careful with the garbage. If the garbage sits in its current state for very long, there is likely to be spillage by the kids or the dog. The woman is thinking two steps ahead, and I think that what some men might perceive as "nagging" is actually the result of their own failure to do so. Link to post Share on other sites
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