Women are not actually attracted to men

[Midnight Rider]

I was searching the women's personal listings on CL, and I came across this posting. It's most definitely posted by a man. While I hope not all women are like this, I would say this guy makes some very good points. Please ladies don't get offended... these aren't my words.

 

--

 

Women are not actually attracted to men. There is a vague idea of what a man is physically, and some are better than others aesthetically speaking, but the purely physical appearance of a man is almost inconsequential unless he is horribly ugly or outrageously attractive.

 

Women are attracted to status, money, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends and resources a man has, how full a man's life is--how many "cool," "exciting" and prestigious things he is doing or connected to.

 

They are interested in how other people view him--how many people want to be around him, how other people interact with him and whether their interactions convey that he is special and amazing. They want him to be extremely outgoing and aggressive, they want him to demonstrate his status over other people by dominating them in various non-violent ways.

 

A woman's attraction to a man is a function of her jealousy at the thought of another woman having that man. She doesn't care who he actually is or EXACTLY what he looks like physically, she only cares about the VALUE of the life he has constructed around himself.

 

A woman basically is a greedy materialistic prostitute. Although that sounds vulgar, it's true. She trades her physical self to buy into the success a man has created for himself.

 

As a man, I fall in love with how a woman is physically. I fall in love with simple parts of a woman. Like the way her hair falls around her face, the line of her neck, her shoulders. They way her ears might peek from her hair. Her eyelashes. The size and shape of her hands, her fingernails. The way she walks, the way she looks when she is tired or annoyed, the sound she makes when she sneezes, coughs, or cries. The way she sits in a chair. The way she breathes while experiencing different emotions. The way her lips move. A million little things.

 

Sure, a huge part of my attraction is mental, but the powerful seed of love that builds within me and crystallizes is based greatly on visual things that set off torrents of emotion and need.

 

It seems to me that women almost cannot think for themselves. Their estimates of worth are based on other peoples' estimates of worth. They don't really find an object beautiful on their own. The object becomes beautiful when other people let her know that it is beautiful.

 

I'm completely unable to reconcile the differences between men and women. It seems like success with women is equal to spending half of your life working to create a giant illusion, something vastly tiring and annoying, while sacrificing your own true self and your own interests. We construct our lives around nest-building. We're like male birds building nests and showing them off to attract mates. It's pathetic. Everything we do is to get women. It is a ****ing **** deal.

 

Someone needs to invent a drug which has no hormonal imbalance side-effects but is able to erase a man's sex drive and attraction to women. It would increase productivity rates to incredible heights. I'd be free and happy. I'd feel complete.

[LucreziaBorgia]

That isn't even remotely close to how my attraction to men works. Perhaps that is why so many of them reject me, because I am so different in how I accept them. The things that men are proud of themselves are what they want women to find attractive about them - like how successful they are, for example. It makes sense.

 

I find things like their sense of humor and their intellect, as well as how well my body would work with theirs on a variety of levels, and how much I like to look at their face, and how they smell (pheromones, not BO or cologne). I don't care at all about the factors that the guy mentioned. I care about things that most guys don't really care about either way in themselves.

 

Perhaps that is why "greedy materialistic prostitutes" get the lion's share of the men - because they know exactly what to admire in a man, and how best to hook him through that process.

 

As a man, I fall in love with how a woman is physically. I fall in love with simple parts of a woman. Like the way her hair falls around her face, the line of her neck, her shoulders. They way her ears might peek from her hair. Her eyelashes. The size and shape of her hands, her fingernails. The way she walks, the way she looks when she is tired or annoyed, the sound she makes when she sneezes, coughs, or cries. The way she sits in a chair. The way she breathes while experiencing different emotions. The way her lips move. A million little things.

 

Sure, a huge part of my attraction is mental, but the powerful seed of love that builds within me and crystallizes is based greatly on visual things that set off torrents of emotion and need.

 

That describes a lot of how I fall in love with a man - those little sensory clues - visual, olfactory, tactile. Perhaps I am too much of a man for my own good!

[Midnight Rider]

Hello Lucrezia, well it's good to see you are not like that

[Ronni_W]

That describes a lot of how I fall in love with a man - those little sensory clues - visual, olfactory, tactile. Perhaps I am too much of a man for my own good!

I'd have to put myself in that category, too -- now, is that a good thing or a bad thing, I'm wondering?!?

 

Quite possibly, the main reason the original author is "completely unable to reconcile the differences between men and women," is because he does not have even a small clue into the SIMILARITIES?

[justforfun]

As a woman, I fall in love with how a man is physically. I fall in love with simple parts of a man. Like .....the line of his neck, his shoulders. His eyelashes. The size and shape of his hands, his fingernails. The way he walks, the way he looks when she is tired or annoyed, the sound she makes when she sneezes, coughs, or cries. The way she sits in a chair. The way she breathes while experiencing different emotions. The way her lips move. A million little things.

 

Can't be bothered to change the rest but you get my point. Physical attributes are all the things that I care about. But I certainly do develop wonderful feelings when I look at the man. I love forearms! Big shoulder, height, skin and how it feels when I press down on it, eyelashes (don't guys always have the best eyelashes), eyes, smirk, smile, oh the list is endless...but to sya that those things are not important to a woman is b0ll0ck$ !

[Shoshana]

I'm sorry, but I fail to see any "good points" in the OP's Craigslist post. It sounds incredibly misogynistic, written by someone who's got a crap attitude about relationships and attraction in general.

 

In short, a case of supremely sour grapes.

 

I mean, why else would the Craigslist poster put this in the women's listings? And what normal guy in his right mind would want a drug that erases his sex drive??? C'mon!!!!

 

Seriously, any man who subscribes to any of this should reconsider... and maybe actually talk to a WOMAN about how WOMEN are attracted to men instead of listening to some dude's whiny conjecture based on a few crappy experiences!

[New Again]

Wow, someone sounds bitter.

 

So, according to the OP (or craigslist poster or whomever) it's not only acceptable, but the only "right" way, for men to "fall in love" with women based entirely on how they look/"physical attributes".....

 

 

.....but it's completely wrong for women to look past the physical and "fall in love" with men who possess character traits such as ambition, hard work, being sociable and charming, etc.?

 

 

Huh. OK.

[carhill]

I'm attracted to a woman who is hard-working, reliable and generous. It's made for decades of being alone along with a brief period of terror called marriage

 

OP, men and women want what they want. Why bother fighting it or even repeating a vitriolic manifesto about it? Accept it. When you draw your last breath, will it really matter what they wanted or were attracted to? It will be how you lived *your* life that will matter.

[justforfun]

As a woman, I fall in love with how a man is physically. I fall in love with simple parts of a man. Like .....the line of his neck, his shoulders. His eyelashes. The size and shape of his hands, his fingernails. The way he walks, the way he looks when she is tired or annoyed, the sound she makes when she sneezes, coughs, or cries. The way she sits in a chair. The way she breathes while experiencing different emotions. The way her lips move. A million little things.

 

Can't be bothered to change the rest but you get my point. Physical attributes are all the things that I care about. But I certainly do develop wonderful feelings when I look at the man. I love forearms! Big shoulder, height, skin and how it feels when I press down on it, eyelashes (don't guys always have the best eyelashes), eyes, smirk, smile, oh the list is endless...but to sya that those things are not important to a woman is b0ll0ck$ !

 

OOOPS..meant to say 'physical attributes are NOT all the things that I care about.

[justforfun]

I'm sorry, but I fail to see any "good points" in the OP's Craigslist post. It sounds incredibly misogynistic, written by someone who's got a crap attitude about relationships and attraction in general.

 

In short, a case of supremely sour grapes.

 

I mean, why else would the Craigslist poster put this in the women's listings? And what normal guy in his right mind would want a drug that erases his sex drive??? C'mon!!!!

 

Seriously, any man who subscribes to any of this should reconsider... and maybe actually talk to a WOMAN about how WOMEN are attracted to men instead of listening to some dude's whiny conjecture based on a few crappy experiences!

 

Nice post! Absolutely agree.

 

BTW, any reason you picked that screen name? Anything to do with 'Real Dolls?'

[2sure]

Women are attracted to status, money, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends and resources a man has, how full a man's life is--how many "cool," "exciting" and prestigious things he is doing or connected to.

 

 

When you think about it, the above description with just a few of the adjectives changed only slightly:

 

Women are attracted to professional success, financial stability, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends he has and organizations he belongs to, how full a man's life is --how many "interesting" "exciting" and "socially active" things he is doing or connected to.

 

Yeah. Thats right. Thats what were attracted to and whats wrong with that? Beats tits and ass.

[justforfun]

Women are attracted to professional success, financial stability, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends he has and organizations he belongs to, how full a man's life is --how many "interesting" "exciting" and "socially active" things he is doing or connected to.

 

Yeah. Thats right. Thats what were attracted to and whats wrong with that? Beats tits and ass.

 

Sure we are attracted to those things. Don't know about you but I also look at the butt and the eyes (among other things )

[threebyfate]

There are a couple of problems in the first post:

1. Why are you looking on Craig's List for relationship advice or a relationship? It's got to be the scuzziest place on Earth.
   
2. The words are just a manipulation of perception. In essence, it's saying that the person who wrote the excerpt, is solely attracted to the superficial and that women are terrible for being attracted to anything else beyond the physical.
   

[justforfun]

There are a couple of problems in the first post:

1. Why are you looking on Craig's List for relationship advice or a relationship? It's got to be the scuzziest place on Earth.
   

 

Best use of smiley I've seen on the board!

[Shoshana]

Nice post! Absolutely agree.

 

BTW, any reason you picked that screen name? Anything to do with 'Real Dolls?'

 

Uh - no. It's my Hebrew name!

[Shoshana]

Women are attracted to status, money, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends and resources a man has, how full a man's life is--how many "cool," "exciting" and prestigious things he is doing or connected to.

 

 

When you think about it, the above description with just a few of the adjectives changed only slightly:

 

Women are attracted to professional success, financial stability, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends he has and organizations he belongs to, how full a man's life is --how many "interesting" "exciting" and "socially active" things he is doing or connected to.

 

Yeah. Thats right. Thats what were attracted to and whats wrong with that? Beats tits and ass.

 

Amen, sister!!

[cheergirl]

I'M SO GLAD I LOOKED AT THIS, I NOW KNOW WHO I TRULY AM:p

 

Are you sure you're not letting your own negative experiences darkly colour your opinions of every other woman on the planet? It sounds like you are attracted to these type of women, but they find the more powerful alpha-male more attractive than you and you resent them and put them down for it. I like top dogs, because I consider myself the top bitch...

 

There's a lot of truth in how you describe the attractiveness of this type of man to many women, myself included; only contrary to the woman you described , if I liked this man I would not care what anyone else thought or how he was viewed by others, nor would he.. Interestingly, your misconception about him is that women are attracted to him, as are men, children old people and animals, and his life has gone a certain way, because of what he has, as opposed to who he is... It's the other way around. Comprendes?

 

He sounds awesome, and yes, many/most women would go for a guy like this because lots (see? I am a woman and I don't even say all) of us are compelled by a strong biological need for a man's power, strength and assertiveness. (Which are, sadly, becoming rare commodities these days.)

Women and men find different things attractive, it's just biology, dude...

 

"she only cares about the VALUE of the life he has constructed around himself. A woman basically is a greedy materialistic prostitute."

In a way, this is lucky for men because the courageous, strong, aggressive ones still have a chance to mate well even if they are not oil paintings, but with you (or dare I say it, perhaps most men in general) a female MUST be visually appealing or she hasn't got a hope in hell of attracting a mate... So what about all those sweet, friendly, kind, loving girls that you will never, ever look at because they aren't physically attractive enough for you?

 

"I fall in love with simple parts of a woman. Like the way her hair falls around her face, the line of her neck, her shoulders. They way her ears might peek from her hair. Her eyelashes. The size and shape of her hands, her fingernails."

Let me guess.....This dream girl of yours weighs 230 lbs., is 4'11, has crooked yellow teeth and is covered with eczema and acne...No? Thought not...

 

We fall for a guy who has made his life valuable and rich through (your words) friends and experiences, not just material wealth; yet it's all genetics with you... At least with us, we leave some scope for personal effort, human spirit and dynamism... And of the two, I'd say we're more discerning...

 

 

BTW, that guy you described, have you got his number?

[shadowplay]

I was searching the women's personal listings on CL, and I came across this posting. It's most definitely posted by a man. While I hope not all women are like this, I would say this guy makes some very good points. Please ladies don't get offended... these aren't my words.

 

--

 

Women are not actually attracted to men. There is a vague idea of what a man is physically, and some are better than others aesthetically speaking, but the purely physical appearance of a man is almost inconsequential unless he is horribly ugly or outrageously attractive.

 

Women are attracted to status, money, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends and resources a man has, how full a man's life is--how many "cool," "exciting" and prestigious things he is doing or connected to.

 

They are interested in how other people view him--how many people want to be around him, how other people interact with him and whether their interactions convey that he is special and amazing. They want him to be extremely outgoing and aggressive, they want him to demonstrate his status over other people by dominating them in various non-violent ways.

 

A woman's attraction to a man is a function of her jealousy at the thought of another woman having that man. She doesn't care who he actually is or EXACTLY what he looks like physically, she only cares about the VALUE of the life he has constructed around himself.

 

A woman basically is a greedy materialistic prostitute. Although that sounds vulgar, it's true. She trades her physical self to buy into the success a man has created for himself.

 

As a man, I fall in love with how a woman is physically. I fall in love with simple parts of a woman. Like the way her hair falls around her face, the line of her neck, her shoulders. They way her ears might peek from her hair. Her eyelashes. The size and shape of her hands, her fingernails. The way she walks, the way she looks when she is tired or annoyed, the sound she makes when she sneezes, coughs, or cries. The way she sits in a chair. The way she breathes while experiencing different emotions. The way her lips move. A million little things.

 

Sure, a huge part of my attraction is mental, but the powerful seed of love that builds within me and crystallizes is based greatly on visual things that set off torrents of emotion and need.

 

It seems to me that women almost cannot think for themselves. Their estimates of worth are based on other peoples' estimates of worth. They don't really find an object beautiful on their own. The object becomes beautiful when other people let her know that it is beautiful.

 

I'm completely unable to reconcile the differences between men and women. It seems like success with women is equal to spending half of your life working to create a giant illusion, something vastly tiring and annoying, while sacrificing your own true self and your own interests. We construct our lives around nest-building. We're like male birds building nests and showing them off to attract mates. It's pathetic. Everything we do is to get women. It is a ****ing **** deal.

 

Someone needs to invent a drug which has no hormonal imbalance side-effects but is able to erase a man's sex drive and attraction to women. It would increase productivity rates to incredible heights. I'd be free and happy. I'd feel complete.

 

At first I found myself agreeing with a few of your points and then it turned into this crazy, disgusting rant that is totally disconnected from reality.

 

One of the many points you're wrong about is that only women judge a potential mate's value by how others assess them. Some/probably many men do that too, which is part of the reason beauty ideals vary from culture to culture. People often learn to like what others around them like. I think it's a natural human instinct.

 

Among other things, it's about efficiency. If you think about shopping for a mate, it makes the most sense to look at the products first that have the highest reviews rather than waste a lot of time judging every product for yourself. I'm not saying this is the best approach or one I personally subscribe to, but it's something a lot of people do.

[shadowplay]

How is "falling in love with how a woman is physically" any more noble than falling in love with status, money or personality? Aside from the last trait, they're all superficial features. But in many ways status and money are more indicative of character because many people have to work to earn their status and money. And personality is a good reason to fall in love with somebody!

[shadowplay]

I

Someone needs to invent a drug which has no hormonal imbalance side-effects but is able to erase a man's sex drive and attraction to women. It would increase productivity rates to incredible heights. I'd be free and happy. I'd feel complete.

 

Actually it would probably DECREASE productivity because, if your theory is correct, men would have no reason to work hard and self actualize without the need to impress women. I remember reading an evolutionary paper that argued male creativity often peaks in youth and declines later on because of decreased sex drive and competition. This apparently isn't the case for women.

 

Who knows how much great art we would have missed out on without horny young men trying to impress girls.

[jamcherries]

The original article poster, though clearly at an almost comic level of glumness about women, makes a few points which rang true in discussion with female friends. This one: "Their estimates of worth are based on other peoples' estimates of worth. They don't really find an object beautiful on their own. The object becomes beautiful when other people let her know that it is beautiful." [After reading Shoshana's petulant "Seriously, any man who subscribes to any of this should reconsider... and maybe actually talk to a WOMAN about how WOMEN are attracted to men instead of listening to some dude's whiny conjecture based on a few crappy experiences!", I should say that this was the account of a woman to another woman.] A friend of my girlfriend was in a relationship with a guy, moved in to his flat, but then ditched him for her dance instructor. Months later she went to a party and saw the first boyfriend with an attractive woman, chatting with her, and the woman looking engaged, and basically looking like they were having a great time. She reported to my girlfriend that she felt outraged, felt "What does she have that I don't?" She then insisted on a reconciliatory talk with him, in which they agreed to 'give it another go'.

[jamcherries]

^ Sorry, javascript problem removed my paragraphing.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Women are not actually attracted to men

 

 

I think this is old news:

 

 

"girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money"

[threebyfate]

Someone needs to invent a drug which has no hormonal imbalance side-effects but is able to erase a man's sex drive and attraction to women. It would increase productivity rates to incredible heights. I'd be free and happy. I'd feel complete.

This is easy to do, without drugs. Go gay!

[calizaggy]

How many women would want to date a skinny, un athletic, somewhat ugly, drug addict who most likely has an STD? My guess would be zero.

 

However, if you give him a guitar and put him on a stage with people screaming, women will be in line to sleep with him.

 

Of course that is how women are.. I remember going to a particular bar with a buddy of mine when we were 21.. We always struck out.. Later that year we both had jobs at the same bar.. Now we were popular.. The same women who turned us down all wanted to sleep with us. In high school i remember scoring 3 goals in a soccer game, and 2 days later had girls waiting at my locker..Was it me? Or what i did in the previous scenarios?

 

Women want to be in the spotlight, and look good. Whether it be in a nice home, riding in a nice car, wearing a big diamond, carrying a gucci bag, etc. What the man does and provides is far more important than who he is.

Edited November 29, 2009 by calizaggy