Not sure on this

[Slamslate]

Hello everyone, near the end of september I met a woman on FB that I knew in High school. We originally planned to hang out every friday to study, but after the first friday we began to hang out everyday. I really felt this girl was falling for me at the time.

 

However she had a boyfriend then. About mid oct they broke up and I confessed to her how i felt for her. She said she really wasn't ready for another relationship since she and her BF just broke up. They had been dating for 2 years and were really close. She said she hated herself since she fell for me too then. Well i apologized and said I was just fine with being friends.Then later she called and told me that I came off too strongly and killed what feelings she had for me as a romantic interest.

 

Since then things have gone the same more or less, we don't talk on the phone nightly anymore, but we still hang out often and text and chat etc.

I have made it clear to her my feelings haven't changed one bit. She has told me theres no hope and that her feelings have grown platonic for me.

 

But what bothers me is the way she acts towards me. If i didn't know better I'd say she had a crush on me. When we are out it just feels like she and I are a couple in everyway except physically. She enjoys being around me and I can tell at the very least she values my friendship a lot.

 

Ah and she still visits her ex about once a week or twice or so. They at the very least still kiss I think. She told me she thinks she led me on and feels sorry about it.

But now whenever i'm with her its basically torture since I'm just falling more and more for her. And it just seems like we are meant to be since our likes/dislikes, how close we live to eachother etc.

 

So How should i proceed?

 

I was considering just NC for my sanity and to see what happens but im not sure.

Edited November 16, 2009 by Slamslate

[WTRanger]

I think you are overestimating her romantic interest in you. Its a fairly common thing to do. She's been up front with you, at least as upfront as females can be, and said that there is no hope. There is even less hope if her ex is still in her life. She's trying to be nice when she needs to be brutal. Nice will only continue to give you false hope.

 

Right now, you are the perfect bf for her. She gets everything she needs from a man and she doesn't need to worry about that pesky thing known as a penis because to her, you do not have one. I suggest you take those two wiggly things extending from your hips known as legs, and run as far away from this girl as possible. Go find someone who is willing to be there for you both as a friend and as a girlfriend.

 

Plain and simple, you are torturing yourself. You might as well just burn yourself with a hot iron everyday. You made yourself too available to her, thus you've killed interest. Maybe absence will make her heart grow fond for you again, but if she's not romantically interested in you and you are to her. That is bound for painful failure, especially on your end.

 

If this girl is really your friend, she will understand and give you some space. If she freaks out and claims that you are screwing her over, and only goes on and on about her feelings. Then she really wasn't a friend to begin with and was only interested in the attention you gave her.

[Slamslate]

Sigh I was afraid of that. But I understand that that's definitely what needs to happen. Thanks.

Edited November 16, 2009 by Slamslate