cecilia0524 Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 So me and this guy are going to watch a movie together the first time! I don't want to be too over the top about this, but I still want this to turn out to be a good one. Any suggestion on when to watch a movie, day or night? and what to do after the movie? I don't want to just leave or head to the subway after the movie like normal couples would do. Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 Night time Wine Late enough that you can rest or lean up against him on the couch. Start playing with some part of him.. maybe a poke in the ribs a few times to get the ball on physical contact rolling... Add more alcohol as necessary until nakedness is achieved. Link to post Share on other sites
Charm13 Posted November 17, 2009 Share Posted November 17, 2009 Head to the theater and watch Couples Retreat. Try a later showing time like 8 or so. Afterwards, go for ice cream of coffee, depending on if you like coffee or have an early morning the next day. If you are wanting to watch one at home, start in late afternoon like 5 or so, then go for a walk in the park or the neighborhood afterwards. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecilia0524 Posted November 17, 2009 Author Share Posted November 17, 2009 Yukikazi: You are definitely a guy. Nakedness won't get anywhere serious. But thanks for the suggestions. Charm13: You are definitely a girl. I hope ice cream store is still open late at the night. We are going to watch 2012 that just came out. Not a romantic one, but I heard it's going to be 2hr 20mins long! Link to post Share on other sites
Charm13 Posted November 17, 2009 Share Posted November 17, 2009 If the ice cream store is closed by the time the movie lets out, try a restaurant and order a dessert to share! And, yes, I am a girl! Haha Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecilia0524 Posted November 18, 2009 Author Share Posted November 18, 2009 Charm13: So he was saying whether he should bring in his car, and I asked why. He was actually planning/thinking sth after already! He said sth about drinking, so I suggested going to the bars nearby the neighborhood. Is that a good idea? I just hope he won't get drunk and ended up at my apartment for the night. Link to post Share on other sites
Charm13 Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 I probably wouldn't take the chance of having one too many. That time of night at a bar is loud and typically leads to one thing, and from your response to Yukikazi, that is not where you are wanting this to go. If you do go, limit yourself, or drink soda. Hope you have a great time! I bet you have butterflies in anticipation! Link to post Share on other sites
Ody Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 Charm13: So he was saying whether he should bring in his car, and I asked why. He was actually planning/thinking sth after already! He said sth about drinking, so I suggested going to the bars nearby the neighborhood. Is that a good idea? I just hope he won't get drunk and ended up at my apartment for the night. Why would you suggest late night drinking close to your house, to the point where he has to worry about whether he'll be OK to drive and possibly crash at your place, if you don't want to achieve nakedness? Any notion that he can get drunk and end up at your apartment will give him the signal that nakedness is in the works, so if you really don't want that as you say, you should change the plan lest he come in with false expectations. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecilia0524 Posted November 18, 2009 Author Share Posted November 18, 2009 Ody: Yea, I shouldn't have suggested bars. But that was the only thing I can think of for that late at night, and it sounded that he wanted to chat or hang out a bit more after. He was wondering if he should bring his car in. My first reaction was why would he want to bring his car into the city (NYC), when subway is just right down the block. That's why I asked why would he want to bring his car, and he said sth like "if we are drinking, then I shouldn't bring it", that's why I said there are bar nearby the neighborhood. Ahh.. I don't know, I think I am merely not thinking what I should suggest and not. Hope he won't get the wrong intension. It doesn't seem like he is though. Link to post Share on other sites
Ody Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 Ody: Yea, I shouldn't have suggested bars. But that was the only thing I can think of for that late at night, and it sounded that he wanted to chat or hang out a bit more after. He was wondering if he should bring his car in. My first reaction was why would he want to bring his car into the city (NYC), when subway is just right down the block. That's why I asked why would he want to bring his car, and he said sth like "if we are drinking, then I shouldn't bring it", that's why I said there are bar nearby the neighborhood. Ahh.. I don't know, I think I am merely not thinking what I should suggest and not. Hope he won't get the wrong intension. It doesn't seem like he is though. It sounds like he lives in the boroughs, NJ or LI. As someone who regularly makes the "do I bring my car into NYC" decision... if he's not bringing in his car, he's most likely thinking "drunk, crash at her place, hubba hubba". Getting back from Manhattan at 2am via transit sucks and it's always easier to drive unless you are thinking of crashing there. I at least wouldn't get too drunk to drive unless there was the possibility of some related really fun drunken escapades. Hehe if he's cute maybe consider nakedness and then not telling us so it looks like you stuck with your plan! Anyway good luck if this is tonight! Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecilia0524 Posted November 19, 2009 Author Share Posted November 19, 2009 Ody: It was me who suggested him not to bring his car. God. I shouldn't have said that. Now it sounds like he is going to "hang over" at my place after. Or maybe we will just ended up going to 7-11 for a Snapple. lol Who knows. Ody, you sound like a guy, are you a guy? If so, how would you continue the night with a silly girl like me. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Ody Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 (edited) Ody: It was me who suggested him not to bring his car. God. I shouldn't have said that. Now it sounds like he is going to "hang over" at my place after. Or maybe we will just ended up going to 7-11 for a Snapple. lol Who knows. Ody, you sound like a guy, are you a guy? If so, how would you continue the night with a silly girl like me. lol Yessam, I am a guy. It's hard to tell since I don't know how well you know each other, how old you guys are, etc, but that said, in general... If a girl suggested I leave the car behind so we could go out for a nice night of too-drunk-to-drive drinking, and then we just had a snapple instead and I wound up on the dreary and slow last bus home, instead of my nice warm quick car, I would probably not consider it a good date. At best I'd be a little annoyed I didn't just drive in, and wonder if maybe you got your period at the last minute and didn't want to fool around for the first time under those circumstances or something like that. At worst I'd figure you were sending mixed signals or playing games, or didn't know what you wanted and were not totally comfortable about your sexuality. "Ditch the car and crash at my place after drinking" is usually one of those very clear let's-hook-up signals. Like I said, without context it is hard to tell - if we had the most wonderful talk on continental philosophy over Snapple I probably wouldn't mind the bus ride home one bit (although I'd probably be even more sad we didn't hook up since then I'd have a crush!). If this is only date one or two I wouldn't be very confused whereas if it was date six I probably would be. I don't see the with the same "Nakedness won't get anywhere serious" view as you - but some guys do and in that case he might not see things like I do. But yeah, in general, try to avoid that signal if you don't want to hook up. Pretty straightforward... EDIT - Hehe, it also depends on whether he lives in a place like Far Rockaway rather than a place like Astoria. If he's in one of those super close to Manhattan places, of course he should leave the car behind. My advice applies more if he's in one of those commuting places where transit is easy by day but can turn into one of those 2 hour ordeals at late night. Edited November 19, 2009 by Ody Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecilia0524 Posted November 19, 2009 Author Share Posted November 19, 2009 (edited) Ody: We just met each other since this year September, and I feel like if we hook up too quickly it will be too much of a rush? I don't know... maybe speed doesn't really matter sometimes. But I want to take this slowly that's why I meant "Nakeness won't get anywhere serious [at the beginning]". I noticed lots of times when nakeness is achieved in an early stage of the relationship, the relationship won't last as long. Btw, we were talking about going to bars during this one time, and I pointed out the fact that I don't see there's a point of going to the bar to chill to get yourself drunk, over going somewhere more fun to be concious. He agreed with me, and asked when was my last time going to the bar, I said last year, and that I am not a drinker. He laughed, and said that he gets drunk easily [aka cheap drinker, he said]. I don't know, I hope I am not giving him message that I like to go drink or have wild fun, when I just looking at going to bar as another social thing to do. Not sure if you are familiar with NYC, but our date is going to take place in UES, and I think he lives in Woodland, Queens. Edited November 19, 2009 by cecilia0524 Link to post Share on other sites
Ody Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 We just met each other since this year September, and I feel like if we hook up too quickly it will be too much of a rush? I don't know... maybe speed doesn't really matter sometimes. But I want to take this slowly that's why I meant "Nakeness won't get anywhere serious [at the beginning]". I noticed lots of times when nakeness is achieved in an early stage of the relationship, the relationship won't last as long. Not sure if you are familiar with NYC, but our date is going to take place in UES, and I think he lives in Woodland, Queens. LOL, familiar like a taxi driver, sadly... way too much driving in traffic. I don't know woodland though, maybe you mean woodside or woodhaven? It's kind of a moot point now, certainly you shouldn't base your actions on whether he has a long subway ride, that's his problem... UES to queens is often a pretty decent ride, the N/R is easy to get an serves much of Queens and is easy to get at 57th from the UES. Anyway, I know exactly what you meant when you said that. I happen to disagree with that way of looking at things. Personally if I felt a girl could keep her hands off me for two months and still look at things in such a calculated manner then some passion for me or in general was lacking and I probably wouldn't fall very heavily for her. I'm not quite a "love at first sight" kinda guy but I don't think it can be steered or directed either. But I'm heavily outnumbered here (and probably in life) in my point of view so to each their own. In fact some of my best friends disagree with me on this (while others agree), I don't think there's a universal right answer. Good luck and let us know how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecilia0524 Posted November 19, 2009 Author Share Posted November 19, 2009 Ody: Btw, we were talking about going to bars during this one time, and I pointed out the fact that I don't see there's a point of going to the bar to chill to get yourself drunk, over going somewhere more fun to be concious. He agreed with me, and asked when was my last time going to the bar, I said last year, and that I am not a drinker. He laughed, and said that he gets drunk easily [aka cheap drinker, he said]. I don't know, I hope I am not giving him message that I like to go drink or have wild fun, when I just looking at going to bar as another social thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Ody Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 He laughed, and said that he gets drunk easily [aka cheap drinker, he said] LOL yeah I say that too when I'm trying to appear both smart and responsible, but also fun. Don't get too analytical here. It's just a date. Have fun, and the big thing to learn is be a little more careful with "leave-the-car-at-home" suggestions in the future! Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecilia0524 Posted November 19, 2009 Author Share Posted November 19, 2009 Ody: Thanks man! The date is this Saturday. Update with you all after. Wish me all the best Link to post Share on other sites
Charm13 Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 Good luck tomorrow night! I'm sure things will go smoothly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecilia0524 Posted November 21, 2009 Author Share Posted November 21, 2009 Hey guys, so he told me he feels like **** today and asked if I mind to postpone to Sunday or Monday, through text message after I ask him if we are still on for the night. It's not like I can say no so I asked if he was okay thru text msg(can't call because I was a work, tried calling during my break but no one answers) and that we can do it Sunday instead. I understand there are people who don't feel like going out sometime during weekend. But is this a signal or anything? Or I m just over thinking about this because I am interested in him? Link to post Share on other sites
Ody Posted November 21, 2009 Share Posted November 21, 2009 Hey guys, so he told me he feels like **** today and asked if I mind to postpone to Sunday or Monday, through text message after I ask him if we are still on for the night. It's not like I can say no so I asked if he was okay thru text msg Did you just have this text in the last hour or so? If so, that he gave you such short notice and didn't txt until you asked about it isn't a great sign. But doesn't have to mean anything especially if this text happened in the morning. I've certainly legitimately postponed plans just because I felt crappy. I would not sweat this, but view a second cancellation as a sign that he's probably not so interested. Hehe - hey at least this solves the car dilemma. On a Sunday it's probably a work night so he can't be out drinking a lot late! Every cloud... Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecilia0524 Posted November 22, 2009 Author Share Posted November 22, 2009 Ody: Yes, the text msg was sent and replied approx. 3 hours before the movie time. We didn't have a movie time set, but we said that it's going to be after I get off work at night tonight. Also, since he works for the school, his weekend days are little different, he is off Friday and Saturday, so maybe Saturday for him is more like a work night for him. And it seemed like he did some hard work Friday, so maybe he wants to take the night to rest and not do anything. Now, when I think about this whole thing, do you think he is just accepting my request in the first place just to be nice/he didn't know how to reject me just bc he wants to keep the friendship between us, and doesn't feel like that much into it, and left it hanging like this? :/ Men are so confusing! They seriously need to communicate better. Okay well. That's what I was thinking, what is your say Ody? What should I do tmr? So far, he hasn't text me back. Link to post Share on other sites
Boundary Problem Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 Hey guys, so he told me he feels like **** today and asked if I mind to postpone to Sunday or Monday, through text message He cancelled a few hours before your date becuase he feels like crap? Sounds a little flaky to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Ody Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 what is your say Ody? What should I do tmr? So far, he hasn't text me back. Hehe I am out of my depth here, so much pressure! I'm no dating guru! I agree with Boundary Prob that it's a little fishy, depending on how much I liked the person and what the in person body language was like and such I'd probably give one more chance but no more than that. Don't text again yet - just let him reply, if you don't hear anything by Monday then he's probably not that into you and you should just move on. If it makes you feel any better it's just as confusing on this side of the gender line! Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecilia0524 Posted November 25, 2009 Author Share Posted November 25, 2009 Whatever the guy was thinking, I went on to ask another guy to watch it with me, and the new guy has been a total gentleman. He offered to go get the tickets in advance, asked to eat dinner together, even said he would take me home since we are watching a really late show. I mean, how can two guys be extremely different like this? I just don't understand how the first one did it to me. Oh well, I moved on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecilia0524 Posted November 25, 2009 Author Share Posted November 25, 2009 Oh god, so this first guy finally texted me saying "So what happened to the movie night?" Me: OMG, you tell me! Him: You weren't here [at school - where he works] - or at least I didn't see you. Me: But you didn't confirm with me the day before, so I assume you are not up for it. He is totally playing around isn't he? Why is he doing this though? Link to post Share on other sites
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