Not sure with our Daughter and her Heroin Addiction,any ?

[J.R.1]

Well My wife and I are having Problems with our 24 Year Old Daughter,again... She was using Heroin by Snorting in a few years ago,she then went to a Methadone Clinic to try to quit the Heroin,which she did for the last couple of years... But since she has been Off of the Methadone we have come to Find out that she is Now Shooting the Heroin and has a 10 Bag a Day Problem...We found out by her Arm being Swelled up and her having an Abcees which in turn she had to be Hospitalized for last week,she got out on Thursday and continues to be shooting up still... She has No Job and No where to Live which is why we recentlt Opened our Door again for her... But we also have a 4 Year Old Daughter and we do not want her to be subjected to this type of Behavoir,so we are tring to Convince our 24 Year Old to go to a de-Tox Center in the Morning for 5 Days... The Problem is,her being Indingent with No Health Benefits there might Not be a Bed Available for her once she Detoxes after 5 Days,then we would be back at Square one with her again.... I actually had to Make all the Phone Calls earlier today and then put her on the Phone with the Peolpe who are going to try to help her,so she does Not seem to be making any effort at all to really help herself... I Know my Wife Enables her Continuosly which I feel is Detrimental to what we are trying to accomplish for her... So my Questions are,what should we do if after 5 Days there is No Bed for her at a Inpatient Rehab? Or worse yet,what if we can`t even get her to go in the Morning to the Detox? My Wife is Afraid that something will happen to her if we tell her she can`t live here anymore because of her Not Wanting to Help Herself,I mean my Wife still Pays her Car Insurance,buys her Cigarettes and gives her Gas Money if she needs it,she is 24 and Never had a Real Job for any length of time because She Always got what she wanted from someone somehow...I mean earlier Today she was Shooting up in our Bathroom because she needed a Fix that bad and now she is Out with a Heroin Addict who is on Methadone and Still doing Heroin...Personally one would think that she would be home packing and getting ready to leave at 5 in the morning to be at the Hospital by 7A.M. My Wife and I are pretty much Lost on how to go about helping her from this point so any Advice would be Appreciated...Down in the Dumps in Jersey... Thanks!

[Boundary Problem]

I don't think people kick addictions because their parents want them to do so.

 

 

Don't they themselves have to want to kick the addiction? Your post was littered with statements that she isn't interested in changing.

 

 

Is there a drug/alcohol family support group in your area? ie for the family members of user?

[McGrupp]

all i know is there are only 2 drugs which you can die from withdrawal and Heroin is NOT one of them.

 

lock her in a room. give her soup and water and a bucket for 6 days. stop enabling.

[Fun2BMe]

If you've ever watched the show intervention they always have to advise a family member to stop enabling the addict. As long as she has a roof over her head, access to an insured car with gas and so on there is no way she is going to quit. You could be posting this 10 years from now. Tell your wife to stop supporting her as hard as it is, to stop giving her any spending money and even a place to stay if you are strong enough to do it. It's for her and your own good especially your four year old's.

 

You might want to contact Intervention for help. They'll pay to take her to a treatment center for a couple of months. You can fill out an application here:

http://www.aetv.com/intervention/participate/

 

You can watch some of the episodes here:

http://www.aetv.com/intervention/index.jsp

[Ody]

Are you sure she is not eligible for your health plan benefits? Addiction falls under mental health laws. The modification to the Mental Health Parity Bill passed last year requires your insurer to provide coverage for a stay in a treatment center for as long as they would cover a hospital. The health bill currently under debate in congress would require your insurer to offer coverage for your child until she is 27, as well as provide further mental health parity benefits, although I am unsure what the current New Jersey law is along these lines for now.

 

When is the last time you know she had coverage? What is your coverage?

[just_some_guy]

Stop enabling her.

 

I've been down this road with a loved one.

 

You have to come to terms with the fact that she might kill herself before she hits rock bottom. The fact that you have another young child in the house makes it especially important that you remove her from your home. You must, must, must set boundaries. If you do not want her using in your home then you must set that and enforce it with rigidity. It will not be easy. She will scream filthy names at you, steal from your home, tell you she hates you.

 

The only way she will change is if she decides to change. Generally, an addict will consider change when they hit bottom. With any luck, that's a high bottom, like getting a car re-po'd. For some, it will take living under a bridge for a while. Some will die before they hit bottom.

 

Get yourself to al-anon for a while.

 

She's 24, an adult by all legal measure. She is free to choose her path and she must absolutely face the consequences of her own actions.

[sedgwick]

lock her in a room. give her soup and water and a bucket for 6 days.

 

I wouldn't wish that sort of treatment on my worst enemy. How incredibly inhumane and uninformed about the genesis, progression, and treatment of addiction!

 

Have you ever heard of ibogaine? It would be the FIRST thing I would try if someone I loved was suffering from an opiate addiction. Please watch this:

 

 

And here is a list of treatment centers:

 

http://www.ibeginagain.org/facilities.shtml

 

I hope this gives you an option you perhaps hadn't thought of. For the cost of a day or two in rehab, there is a chance she could be freed forever.

Edited January 23, 2010 by sedgwick