HOLIDAY BLUES....Anyone else experiencing them.....

[longlegzs80]

EVery year around this time I get really really depressed. Even more depressed then usual and don't know why. The holidays are just a really tough time of year for me, and was wondering if anyone else experiences holiday blues also? I figure, great, another year to be single. Another year of not being motivated, another year for doing nothing new with myself and living in a hole and not wanting to come out.

 

I really really want a change, but don't know how to go about it. As I said, the holidays are always tough. Some reasons have to do with money, some for just being single still, some for getting together with my family who just don;t care and not close anyways and getting together because of the purpose for my grandma. Just want some satisfaction in life. I don;t know what to do or what I would like to do with myself. Before college I felt and actually had goals for the future, this year I just want to get into my field of graphic design and just be happy with possibly having someone who cares about me in my life.

 

AT this point, I feel really really alone and it totally makes me want to cry or makes me think no one cares. I also have been alittle more on edge lately which totally affects my performance and the way I treat customers at the bagel shop I work at.

 

How can someone like myself find some satifation in life? Can anyone on this forum say they are truely satisfied with their lives and their accomplishments? Help me out here if you don't mind. Thank you.

[jenny]

hey, sweety, what happened with your guy??

 

and have you been checked out for clinical depression? most medical insurance covers the medication, if not, its not that expensive.

 

have you tried st. john's wort?

 

i had to get checked out, because the holiday blues make me not only sad, but also frantic. he advised vitamin D, st. john's, more exercise, and more social time and volunteer work.

 

i am satisfied, but struggling. always. i have 2 bad days for five good ones. the thing is, some people are just more sensitive to life. there is no shame in it, but if it making you sad, seek help.

[Tony T]

Being satisfied with what you do in life doesn't really count for much. Being satisfied and loving yourself does. Don't expect a job, a man, a big house or fancy car to bring happiness and satisfaction to you. The world is full of millionaires who are absolutely miserable and poor people who are happy and content.

 

Your first step is to change the way you think. Stop thinking so much about yourself and your state in life and put your thoughts out to others. Resolve to be happy and contented all by yourself, all alone. You can't be happy with another person until you are totally satisfied with yourself. Learn to do things by yourself and enjoy them, learn to be at ease being alone, and do what you can to enjoy your own company. Once you can do that, you will be happy with any job, any circumstance and you will look at relationships as an addition to your happiness and not something that your own happiness depends upon. People come and go. People's minds change. Your feelings about other people can change. But if you love yourself, you will be joyful no matter what.

 

Start changing your thoughts soon and do things that you feel good about. You'll be surprised how life will change for you and how others will be attracted to you when you start feeling good about yourself....all by yourself.

 

If you are clinically depressed, see a doctor to get that handled. If you have biochemical problems, there's almost no chance of feeling better until you're on the right medicaiton.

[moimeme]

The holidays are just a really tough time of year for me, and was wondering if anyone else experiences holiday blues also?

 

I suppose I could, given that I'm pretty much out of family, but it's mitigated by the fact that I grew up with snow for the holidays and there will be none here. So it does not feel at all like Christmas to me.

 

I figure, great, another year to be single. Another year of not being motivated, another year for doing nothing new with myself and living in a hole and not wanting to come out.

 

Ah, well! How's about this: this is the END of another year being single, unmotivated, doing nothing new - and a brand new year to change all that coming right 'round the corner? Me, I'm planning to exit this hermitage next year and get back to doing things I love - numero uno being travel. And I can't wait. I deliberately set up some plans for myself so I would have things to look forward to.

 

Before college I felt and actually had goals for the future, this year I just want to get into my field of graphic design

 

What's stopping you?

 

and just be happy with possibly having someone who cares about me in my life.

 

That might take a while - but you have friends and family and cyber pals!

 

AT this point, I feel really really alone and it totally makes me want to cry or makes me think no one cares.

 

You are by no means the only person feeling solo. There are a lot of nomads and strays about. But you do have a family, right? Really, try to enjoy them while you have them because once they're gone, that's it.

 

How can someone like myself find some satifation in life? Can anyone on this forum say they are truely satisfied with their lives and their accomplishments?

 

I'm happy, but not because of what's gone before but because I believe in what lies ahead. I'd HATE to find myself resting on my laurels (few that they may be LOL). To me, life is about the possibilities that have yet to be realized - places to see, people to meet, and things to accomplish. In fact, I have been a little too content - it's really not good for one because you grind to a halt. I've been working on making myself want more than I have LOL!!!

 

Definitely get yourself checked for depression. I wouldn't rush out to get St. John's Wort or any other medicine or herbal remedy without talking to your own doc, though. St. John's Wort has caused some people problems.

 

 

i am satisfied, but struggling. always. i have 2 bad days for five good ones

 

Sorry to hear that, Jenny.

[monkey00]

hm...longlegz80...gimme the adddress of the bagel shop where you work and i'll be your best customer ill be shouting is there a longlegz80 around here!!??

 

lol serious! im attending college and living in nyc

 

what a surprise, im in the graphic design field also....this may be my second semester, but these past few weeks it feels like my life has been coming together. meeting lots of new ppl and just socializing with them makes my day, making new friends, working as a graphic designer (interning now) starting paid part time on the 20th woohoo! working for my prof in a wood workshop as a temp weekend job. going to take driving lessons as soon as i receive my permit in the mail, hang out with friends...and i guess thats pretty much what my plans are for this season

 

last year i was in a situation like yours, feeling very unmotivated, had no job (not my fault all those apps i gave in to the store, they never called me back), didnt socialize or bother meeting new ppl, didnt really set out any goals. but this semester i said F*** it im going to do this and that go on interviews for jobs etc. i told myself "f*** you how do you expect to move on in life if you dont make changes in your routine and your personality." i gotta tell you this forum changed my life for the better, all the tips ive had and experiences ive had with friends and other ppl changed me.

 

if you treat customers @ the bagel shop the way you say you do, then yes it's affecting your overall performance there. remember what i said in another post? think positive is to be positive, raise your self esteem meet new ppl. ive always wanted to work in a store or shop just to meet ppl and grow but never had that opportunity, you do now! make the best of it this season!

 

btw, i was serious before...i really do live in nyc

[longlegzs80]

WOW! I did not expect that many responses. I totally agree with everyone who replied. But, when you want to make changes and want to do things you enjoy, how do you figure out what you enjoy? I used to enjoy stuff and I get asked to go do stuff with people but I just don't want to go out or do anything new. Which is unlike me, because when I was up at college, I did everything. Going out, being with friends, worked, partied, went out by myself and enjoyed myself, etc. But this is the change.

 

I am now living at home and with living with my mom and all, I don't feel comfortable going out or really doing anything. Not sure why. But, I don't do the fun stuff I used to do in college. Trust me, I have done alot of going out by myself at college because that is something I enjoyed. But I tended to enjoy being by myself tooooooo much and would kinda push people away. I find myself doing the same thing now, but not wanting to get out to do anything with anyone.

 

This has been affecting my mood. Money is affecting my mood too, and not having a job and constintinly looking online and in the employment section in the papers and sending out my resume and no response. Lossing hope here with everything. I used to have that I can do it attitude when I was in high school and now it is completely gone.

 

My goal when I got out of college was to get my portfolio together and get a job within a year from when I graduated. But, time is dwindling and I don't want to be out of my field any longer then I have been. That is the major thing. Of course there is more, but I really don't see any purpose for going to a

counsellor because I know what they will say, and they will tell me what I already know and that is that I am a manic depressent. Don't want to hear that anymore. Just doing things like excersizing to help me out but that has lost its affects on me, so totally lost now as to what to do. I wish I had money to just go and travel like I would love to do, or get an apartment or get into my field, or have a kick butt portfolio that I am totally pleased with, or having someone interested in me.

 

JENNY: Oh yeah, that guy who usually comes into the store has not been in since last week WEdnesday which he usually comes in maybe once or twice a week. My attitude has not been great towards him,but I have been having alot on my mind and don't want to come across as someone who is not interested when really I am but my life has affected me big time. That is why I really need to figure things out for myself and am willing to do anything.

 

MONKEY00: Maybe you can help me out. All I want to know is what are the names of the News papers in NEW YORK CITY that have employment in them? Maybe an online address would be great or the names of the papers would be great so I can do my own search. That would help me out a great deal.

 

I think relocating is something I have to do and I am kinda scared about. Not sure why. When I was at college, I wanted to relocate, but now since I am home, I don't want to leave the area. And I know relocating is something I truely wanted to do to get myself into shape and a better frame of mind.

 

Anyways, thanks to everyone who replied. Totally appreciate it.

[moimeme]

know what they will say, and they will tell me what I already know and that is that I am a manic depressent.

 

Well, longlegz, if you know you have it, then you know this is a chemical malady that you may not be able to fix by dint of will. I just got an EXCELLENT book from the library (well, I'm told it is LOL) called 'Molecules of Emotion'. It talks about the connection between our chemistry and our emotions. That you have lost interest in things that used to interest you means you are depressed. If your chemicals are out of whack, no amount of wishing or trying by you will put them back in balance. It's like somebody try to think themselves out of diabetes. It just won't work.

 

Really, you need to go see a doc and get your meds balanced. Bipolar can be a pain in the patootie with respect to getting meds correct, but when it works, it works great. Unfortunately, so much of society still believes the old, outdated ideas that all mental conditons are flaws of thinking that people with genuine ailments are reluctant to get them repaired. The 'sure, take a pill to fix everything' crowd need to live with a condition such as yours for a while, IMHO.

 

You can try the stuff I suggested and Tony, and Monkey, but in the end, you may have to get a doc to help you rebalance your neurochemicals.

[monkey00]

hm...tell me your work adress longlegz then ill think about it

 

yea even tho someone may tell you to go out there and do it, it's still not enough to get motivated. i know, ive been there dozens of times myself. it's like you've been in a slump and are stuck in a continuous daily routine that you cant break free out of cause it has you chained down in a way making you lazier by the day...ive been there before

 

the truth is no one can make you become motivated to accomplish goals neither can you just repeat to yourself that you will. the truth is, you MUST make your desicion to go out there and GO FOR THE GOAL.

 

once you accomplish one goal, it makes you very motivated in seeking to accomplish other goal, im speaking from experience. cause in a way when you know youve accomplished 1 thing, it raises your morale and self-esteem driving you into motivation oriented mode

 

always keep this in mind " actions speak louder than words"

dont just say to yourself everyday..."im going to find a job, im going to make friends"

DONT think it, JUST DO it. the day is yours YOU must seize it. call some old acquantences up or professors, friends, ask them if they can hook you up wiht anything, NETWORK!

 

back in H.S. i thought networking was baloney and said "pfft i dont need it, i can go for it on my own" the truth is in today's world, having the right connections with the right people can make all the difference in your life. like my friend in school, when she doesnt like her job or boss and quits, she could do it easily and whenever, cause she has many friends that can easily hook her up with another. she's not really a resourceful person herself, she always asks ppl for help even me, but it all goes down to WHO you know.

 

btw did you graduate yet? if you did you should have tons of acquantences/friends in the graphic design field

[Fancy]

I don't have much to add except that you're not alone. The holidays are incredibly hard for me and I'm literally counting the days until new years. I have no family and it's all I can do right now to hold it together. The others have given you good advice. I hope you'll be feeling better real soon. I'm sorry you're hurting.

[UCFKevin]

I don't care for this time of year too much. I've had a lot of pretty horrible things happen during Christmas. Found out my parents were getting divorced Christmas eve one year, seen lots of fights between my sister and father, hate being away from one parent on Christmas...it's all just very depressing.

 

Plus this will be the first year I don't have anyone around this time of year, usually I have family or roommates but I'm on my own and recently became single, so...yeah. Not looking forward to the old season of joy.

[Patty]

I really really want a change, but don't know how to go about it. As I said, the holidays are always tough. Some reasons have to do with money, some for just being single still, some for getting together with my family who just don;t care and not close anyways and getting together because of the purpose for my grandma. Just want some satisfaction in life. I don;t know what to do or what I would like to do with myself. Before college I felt and actually had goals for the future, this year I just want to get into my field of graphic design and just be happy with possibly having someone who cares about me in my life.

 

 

Yes,I know how you feel.Holidays are rough on me too.Just remember the people here at LoveShack care about you,including myself.Have you thought about seeing a therapist? Therapists can help you in so many ways,then you would ever imagine.They get to the root of your problems and can help you with just about every situation there is.

 

I lost my grandfather back in 1998 and ever since then,Ive been depressed during the holidays.We were real close.I can understand where you are coming from,not having money is depressing and I know how it is,cause Im tight on money this year too.I also lost another uncle a month ago,and it will be hard on Christmas Eve when we usually go to the Christmas party.

 

Hang in there.Stick to your goals.Just try to be positive.I know its hard but if your positive,more likely things will get better.

 

Good luck with everything.I hope things work out for you.Hope I was able to help.

 

Patty

[flyswatter04]

I get so depressed around the holidays too. I've never had a girlfriend during the holdays. It seems that everyone does expect me. They buy thier boy/girlfriends presients and all that. I mean I do buy presents for my friends, but it was not the same....not at all

[Darkangelism]

I too live in NYC and would like to help, see how quickly people want to help you. My AIM SN is the same as my posting name if u want to talk.

[longlegzs80]

Not sure why people assume I live in NYC. I don't. Would like to one of these days, but at the time being money is tight and there is no chance I will be able to go unless I rob a bank or get a job in the city. Other then that, feel free to pm me DARKANGELISM.

[kathyd]

Longlegz, I have been diagnosed (incorrectly) as bi-polar, ADD and who knows what else. I've been on just about every type of med there is and been to multiple therapists and pyschiatrists. The reality is that I just have chronic depression and I just sort of figured out on my own what works for me (with the help of my family doc. who is great).

 

Anyway, my point is that you are exibiting all the signs of chronic depression. Many people are wierd about admitting they have a problem and especially taking meds.

 

Once you deal with the depression, you will have the ability to take action on the goals you wish to achieve.

 

just my 2 cents.