cognac Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 I said some things I didn't mean to this girl I'm kind of seeing and she has been angry ever since. Tried apologizing but was being a bit of a smartass about it. She refused to stay and talk and said "call me when you grow up". In her defense she's going through a lot (issues outside of me that are very serious) so I am giving her some leeway. Should I call her or wait for her to call me? If I should, when should I call her? Link to post Share on other sites
jerseyboy Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 What did you say? Link to post Share on other sites
Lakeside_runner Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 I think regardless of what you said, if you feel guilty about it and you believe she had a reason to be angry with that - you should call her. Depending on how heavy the stuff was give her something between 3 days to a week (if it was really bad). Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 I said some things I didn't mean to this girl I'm kind of seeing and she has been angry ever since. Tried apologizing but was being a bit of a smartass about it. She refused to stay and talk and said "call me when you grow up". In her defense she's going through a lot (issues outside of me that are very serious) so I am giving her some leeway. "In her defense"?? LMAO! Good for her!! I'm thinking you should do as she says. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cognac Posted November 18, 2009 Author Share Posted November 18, 2009 I think regardless of what you said, if you feel guilty about it and you believe she had a reason to be angry with that - you should call her. Depending on how heavy the stuff was give her something between 3 days to a week (if it was really bad). Well it happened on friday, and i didnt talk to her until today when I saw her in person (she goes to my school). She almost started crying and said "I DONT WANT TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW". The problem is that i said it to her over the phone and i was very drunk with my friends. I completely blacked out and sincerely do not know what I said but she said it was something very personal and bad, but refused to tell me! Today i tried to talk to her and she said "please just leave me alone, i'm sorry but leave me be". Is it a case of womanly hysteria? I asked all my friends they said I didnt say anything THAT bad (but they can't remember really), more like I was being annoying on the phone. Link to post Share on other sites
BobSacamento Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 Storming out and not being able to have a simple discussion...so who is the immature one? Sounds like you found a snoozer dude. Next Link to post Share on other sites
Author cognac Posted November 18, 2009 Author Share Posted November 18, 2009 "In her defense"?? LMAO! Good for her!! I'm thinking you should do as she says. Everyone makes mistakes and I promised it wouldn't happen again (and my word is my bond). I don't think it warrants this kind of reaction from her. Link to post Share on other sites
jerseyboy Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 LOL He doesnt wish to post what he said to her Link to post Share on other sites
Author cognac Posted November 18, 2009 Author Share Posted November 18, 2009 Storming out and not being able to have a simple discussion...so who is the immature one? Sounds like you found a snoozer dude. Next Well her step-father who was really close with her passed a few weeks ago, and she's been acting this way since then. It's very understandable and I like this girl a lot, I can understand why she's being like this and i'm not the type who runs away as soon as someone I care about is in their weakest moment. I wonder how long she's going to be this way. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 Everyone makes mistakes and I promised it wouldn't happen again (and my word is my bond). I don't think it warrants this kind of reaction from her. Honestly.. how can you make this kind of claim when you don't even know what you said because you were too drunk ? What happens the next time you get too drunk ?.. does your bond extend to drunkenness ? I think your should just give her some time to cool off and seriously dude.. look into WTF is wrong with you when you drink.. you might want to cut back if you can't handle alcohol. Part of deciding if alcohol is becoming a problem in ones' life is whether or not it has caused problems in your relationships.. well.. it seems with this one it has.. Link to post Share on other sites
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 I said some things I didn't mean to this girl I'm kind of seeing and she has been angry ever since. Tried apologizing but was being a bit of a smartass about it. She refused to stay and talk and said "call me when you grow up". In her defense she's going through a lot (issues outside of me that are very serious) so I am giving her some leeway. Should I call her or wait for her to call me? If I should, when should I call her? cognac, what she meant was, call her when you're taller. LMAO Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetcheripie Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 Everyone makes mistakes and I promised it wouldn't happen again (and my word is my bond). I don't think it warrants this kind of reaction from her. If you really like her and respect her then give her a break. Stress can make people do the weirdest things! If she is under a lot of stress and you did something stupid - apologize for real..... not smartass!!! Send flowers! Even if it doesn't work out with her.... it is good karma Link to post Share on other sites
Author cognac Posted November 18, 2009 Author Share Posted November 18, 2009 If you really like her and respect her then give her a break. Stress can make people do the weirdest things! If she is under a lot of stress and you did something stupid - apologize for real..... not smartass!!![/Quote] Yes I tried that as a last resort but she wouldn't have any of it. I guess I'm going to give her a break for a few days again and see what i can do to make it up to her. She is being very cold and for days has pushed me away whenever I've offered to help her or talk. Link to post Share on other sites
Beerme Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 Without knowing what you said, we can't say if she's overreacting or not. From her reaction to you, I'd say that you probably said something out of line, and probably didn't help you situation at all by being a "smartass" about it afterwards. You should give her some time to calm down, and when you do finally talk to you, be honest. Tell her that you don't all all remember what you said, and that you know whatever it was, it probably was pretty bad. Apologize. Nicely. With heartfelt emotion. That is assuming you truly are sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 From her reaction to you, I'd say that you probably said something out of line, and probably didn't help you situation at all by being a "smartass" about it afterwards. You should give her some time to calm down, and when you do finally talk to you, be honest. Tell her that you don't all all remember what you said, and that you know whatever it was, it probably was pretty bad. Apologize. Nicely. With heartfelt emotion. That is assuming you truly are sorry. Everyone makes mistakes and I promised it wouldn't happen again (and my word is my bond). I don't think it warrants this kind of reaction from her. By your own admission, you were a smartass when you "apologized." Her reaction, given what you've said, is totally reasonable IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 Is it this girl? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t209295 The one who's going to become a bartender and you are ridiculously insecure and immature about it? Makes sense that she'd tell you to grow up. I bet you said something demeaning about female bartenders and how you expect her to slut it up. Link to post Share on other sites
xXMarlboro_ManXx Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 Either you're not telling us what you said or you honestly don't remember if you really can't remember what you said you are in some deep ****. You must of said something so bad that she couldn't have just written it off as oh he just had a little too much to drink you had to have said something personal. What deep personal thoughts do you have about her that you wouldn't say to her when you're sober? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cognac Posted November 18, 2009 Author Share Posted November 18, 2009 (edited) Either you're not telling us what you said or you honestly don't remember if you really can't remember what you said you are in some deep ****. You must of said something so bad that she couldn't have just written it off as oh he just had a little too much to drink you had to have said something personal. What deep personal thoughts do you have about her that you wouldn't say to her when you're sober? NONE! That is what really strikes me as odd. I sincerely do not remember anything from that night after 11PM. I had 1 liter of whiskey and a few beers by myself and do not even remember how I got home. From what I remember I don't recall saying anything that bad to her. Edited November 18, 2009 by cognac Link to post Share on other sites
xXMarlboro_ManXx Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 NONE! That is what really strikes me as odd. I sincerely do not remember anything from that night after 11PM. I had 1 liter of whiskey and a few beers by myself and do not even remember how I got home. From what I remember I don't recall saying anything that bad to her. IDK man it sounds like you said something really really mean. If you are getting desperate tell her honestly that you had too much to drink and you don't remember what you said. If you think she would like it tell her that you will tone down your drinking for her .... BTW this could be horrible advice I've never been in a situation like this and there is no easy way out. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cognac Posted November 18, 2009 Author Share Posted November 18, 2009 Do you guys think she'll get over it ? Today when I was talking to her I was just assuming she was making stuff up because she doesn't like me anymore. But she said no it really was the message I left her and if she didn't like me anymore she would just stop talking to me for no reason. She also claims not talking to me for 3 days was really hard for her. So why the **** does she keep doing it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cognac Posted November 18, 2009 Author Share Posted November 18, 2009 IDK man it sounds like you said something really really mean. If you are getting desperate tell her honestly that you had too much to drink and you don't remember what you said. If you think she would like it tell her that you will tone down your drinking for her .... BTW this could be horrible advice I've never been in a situation like this and there is no easy way out. Good luck. I already tried that. She just said "I don't give a f*** if you drink I'm not your mom". Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 "I DONT WANT TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW". "please just leave me alone, i'm sorry but leave me be". I think it would be respectful of you to honor her wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 Sorry dude but you really messed up. You got so drunk you blacked out (never attractive), then you clearly said something offensive...& your 'apology' added fuel to the fire by also being offensive. Add to the fact that she is going through a really rough time and your behavior is twice as crappy. The fact that you don't even realize what a jerk you were (by saying you'd give HER some leeway cause she's going thru a hard time!!) is even worse-v.patronizing! No wonder she said what she did. I am sure you didn't have bad intentions so just treat it as a leaning experience and dude, from now on let a girl see your good side, and don't be a jerk and talk smack to her. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 OP, if you haven't clearly and sincerely apologized, do so now. Then, move on. Perhaps, in time, if you still have mutual interest, you and she can become friends. I see her comment of 'call me when you grow up' to be negative words and I believe her. If I said that to a woman, I would expect to not have contact with her again. Acceptance Link to post Share on other sites
thegreatmoose Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 Do you guys think she'll get over it ? Today when I was talking to her I was just assuming she was making stuff up because she doesn't like me anymore. But she said no it really was the message I left her and if she didn't like me anymore she would just stop talking to me for no reason. She also claims not talking to me for 3 days was really hard for her. So why the **** does she keep doing it? I find it interesting that she didn't end it immediately. Many women would have ended it for far lesser things. Given that she's still talking to you at all, you have a chance. Whether or not it works out with this woman, you are going to have to change this type of behavior if you want a relationship to last. If I were to get drunk and say who knows what to a woman, I'd expect her to end it. Link to post Share on other sites
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