Boundary Problem Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 After this silence and I just said "I really hate it when youre mad at me, i don't like to fight" and left it at that. If she wants to kiss and makeup, great. If not, screw her I'll just find someone else. That's what I thought. This is all about him engineering make-up sex. He creates the problem, he perpetuates the drama, and now he wants his big reward. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Well her step-father who was really close with her passed a few weeks ago, and she's been acting this way since then. It's very understandable and I like this girl a lot, I can understand why she's being like this and i'm not the type who runs away as soon as someone I care about is in their weakest moment. I wonder how long she's going to be this way. She's grieving. Instead of being there for her, you get plastered and say something nasty to her? Yes I tried that as a last resort but she wouldn't have any of it. I guess I'm going to give her a break for a few days again and see what i can do to make it up to her. She is being very cold and for days has pushed me away whenever I've offered to help her or talk. Apologizing was a last resort? Obviously you're not being remorseful and it's not sincere. Thanks for this little "grrrlll power" Lifetime moment. Now please, if you have no advice for me, get out of my thread. Imagine if we men blew up in hysteria every time you women do something slightly disrespectful to us. I have done and received far worse treatment from my male friends, and never once did we react beyond maybe throwing something at them or laughing it off , it was never a 2 week (or forever) grudge. For real dude? Your gf is dealing with a family loss and you are only thinking of yourself. I couldn't even get through the entire thread. It's really quite sad that you've got to be that selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyBlaze Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Cognac, whether or not you're right that the Western world is now matriarchal, the fact remains that you want to get her back and not the other way around. So suck it up, lose the social commentary, give her a few days to cool down and go talk to her. Regardless of your opinion of this, she obviously sees this as a monumental screw-up on your part. Remember to treat it as such. p.s Isnt life a bitch, now that woman have the vote and can drink in public?? Good think they can drink! I'd never have a sex life, otherwise!! Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 At this point I lost it You sure did. And now she knows it goes this way whether you're drunk or sober. Smoooooottthhhh. Link to post Share on other sites
NotNow Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 maybe you should buy your gf a vacume cleaner or an iron for her birthday to show her how much you really care about her. break it off with her, it's clear you only really care about yourself and your needs. p.s Isnt life a bitch, now that woman have the vote and can drink in public?? ...but don't bottles of alcohol say something like: WARNING: According to the Surgeon General, women should not drink alcoholic beverages? Link to post Share on other sites
mushmush Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 (edited) [/b] ...but don't bottles of alcohol say something like: WARNING: According to the Surgeon General, women should not drink alcoholic beverages? Not sure how to take this comment. In Australia.. Our advertisments say "Enjoy in moderation" Anyway you do realise that sex-segregation did exist in public bars around the turn of the 20th century? Edited November 19, 2009 by mushmush Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Regardless of your opinion of this, she obviously sees this as a monumental screw-up on your part. Remember to treat it as such. I'm afraid that cognac is so scared of losing her right now that he will hide his insecurity and fear behind a defensive wall made of blaming, anger, and attacks. If I can offer any advice to you now, cognac, it is to realize that those defenses are useless and powerless to defend you -- you might lose her if you let them down, but you will definitely lose her if you don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cognac Posted November 19, 2009 Author Share Posted November 19, 2009 I'm afraid that cognac is so scared of losing her right now that he will hide his insecurity and fear behind a defensive wall made of blaming, anger, and attacks. If I can offer any advice to you now, cognac, it is to realize that those defenses are useless and powerless to defend you -- you might lose her if you let them down, but you will definitely lose her if you don't. What can I say , I prefer to go out with gun's blazing. Regardless, I have a feeling this is an attempt to question my will or see if she can manipulate me. I will extend the olive branch tomorrow once more (the day we usually see eachother) and if she revokes it, to hell with her. I will delete her from my lists, phones , and from my life in general. Nobody should make me feel this crappy without a good reason, or atleast telling me the reason. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 What can I say , I prefer to go out with gun's blazing. Regardless, I have a feeling this is an attempt to question my will or see if she can manipulate me. I will extend the olive branch tomorrow once more (the day we usually see eachother) and if she revokes it, to hell with her. I will delete her from my lists, phones , and from my life in general. Nobody should make me feel this crappy without a good reason, or atleast telling me the reason. Are you serious? She's grieving. You stated she lost her step dad whom she was close to. In many families that's like losing a parent. And you make all these nasty comments about her? Did it occur to you whatever you said to her made her feel crappy? Link to post Share on other sites
NotNow Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Not sure how to take this comment. In Australia.. Our advertisments say "Enjoy in moderation" Anyway you do realise that sex-segregation did exist in public bars around the turn of the 20th century? I was being sarcastic...US warning labels do say "GOVERNMENT WARNING: (1) According to the Surgeon general, women should not drink alcoholic beverages during pregnancy because of the risk of birth defects." However, (here at least) it's a VERY common misogynistic "joke" to quote that warning, but cut off the pregnancy part so it just says women shouldn't drink. Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Well close enough. Australia is only slightly less effeminate and lame than the USA, the entire anglophone world has become matriarchal. Lol....Cognac, you are making a fool of yourself by saying stuff like this. So ignorant. I am sure the girl in question heard so many of these types of insults from you that she just got sick of you and wants to be left alone (which you're not doing, even when she swears at you. Leave her alone before the restraining order comes out!!) And no, I'm not a 36 year old virgin, haha! :D Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 What can I say , I prefer to go out with gun's blazing. Regardless, I have a feeling this is an attempt to question my will or see if she can manipulate me. I will extend the olive branch tomorrow once more (the day we usually see eachother) and if she revokes it, to hell with her. I will delete her from my lists, phones , and from my life in general. Nobody should make me feel this crappy without a good reason, or atleast telling me the reason. YES! Do this. Offer the olive branch, so then she'll cuss you out YET AGAIN and then you'll delete her from all your lists and she'll be really, really relieved to not hear from you again. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 after an intense investigation with my friends who were there came up that I didn't say anything bad AT ALL! Lol so you drug other people (your friends) into the picture, into her business? Smart move. Then when she became upset at that, you lost it? Lol dude, I'm speechless. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Everyone makes mistakes and I promised it wouldn't happen again (and my word is my bond). I think that's an interesting statement. Your word is your bond. Let's take a look at that for a moment. I think she's indeed taking your word as solid. She's taking the words you said when you were drunk as reflective of who you really are, and they probably are. Alcohol loosens us up so the inner beast can reveal itself. And then when you had a chance to show your real, sober self, you did this:Tried apologizing but was being a bit of a smartass about it. ... and once again she took your word as solid: your words reflected who you really are inside. At the moment when it would have been quite easy to swallow your pride and be genuine about recognizing that you might have hurt her feelings, you were a smartass. Let's face it: your word is your bond, and after seeing who you really are, she's decided that she's not interested any more. Her becoming uninterested in you doesn't mean there's something wrong with her, unless you need to convince yourself of that to preserve your self-image. (And "womanly hysteria?" Really? Are you turning to 1880's psychology texts for guidance here?) What can I say , I prefer to go out with gun's blazing. Wonderful for you, if you're under attack. But a little dramatic, in this case, don't you think? Almost borders on... what is it... can't put my finger on it..... hysterical? Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Lol so you drug other people (your friends) into the picture, into her business? Smart move. Then when she became upset at that, you lost it? Lol dude, I'm speechless. Adding to what I just said, since I can't edit it: You think she's being illogical, a drama queen, having her period... You say you are going to forget all about her and delete her from all your little lists like it matters or something, and find a new girl - yet %90 of your posts are about not being able to find a girl because of, according to you, your height. Do you really not see these things that we do when we peek over the wall and into your situation? Stand on your tip toes if you have to - because it's obvious to everyone else. Yes, a lot of what is said are veiled attacks, you are not the only one that sees it. But really, there has been some good advice given. She wants you to be more mature, more manly. She doesn't know how you would go about doing it, she just knows what she wants from you. Texting, losing your patience with her, involving other people in the mix, resolving to 'drop' her from your life - these are all moves in the opposite direction you should be going. At this point, what you said and if you said it doesn't matter. What she needs is genuineness, realism and a comforting maturity she can only feel from a man. Sometimes part of being a man is humbling yourself and losing your pride - if that's something that isn't a 'part of your personality' then you are in fact not a man yet. Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 I kind of feel a little bit bad for you if you're short... know that's tough for a guy to deal with in the dating world. Just stop being so angry else people will say you have short angry man syndrome. Just take this as a learning experience...try to be a nicer person and girls will like you more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cognac Posted November 19, 2009 Author Share Posted November 19, 2009 OK she finally cracked and told me what happened. She claims that in my vmail I said something insensitve about her dying father (I don't remember it) but she couldn't make it out. She claims that all i'm going to do is keep hurting her despite asking her to forgive me (i sincerely feel sorry) and she can't be around me at the moment and was crying on the phone. I felt pretty crappy. She said to give her space, that she appreciates my apology, and that she'll call me when her self-esteem is back to normal. She says I'm too much for her to handle right now and that my personality is very brute and apologized to me for storming away from me when I was trying to talk to her the other day. I'm going to do as she asks. I just get worried because she's shutting everyone out and going through a lot at once (losing her job, dad dying, broke up with her annoying boyfriend, moving out, etc) and I want to help her. I don't think she knows what she wants, and she claism she can't talk to me because I'm always joking about everything. I guess i'll just have to do as she asks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cognac Posted November 19, 2009 Author Share Posted November 19, 2009 You say you are going to forget all about her and delete her from all your little lists like it matters or something, and find a new girl - yet %90 of your posts are about not being able to find a girl because of, according to you, your height.[/Quote] Finding a girl to date and love you for you is hard if you're a shorter than average, but sleeping with a woman is not that hard. All it takes is offering a bag of cocaine (which I don't use btw) and the women all flock. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Finding a girl to date and love you for you is hard if you're a shorter than average, but sleeping with a woman is not that hard. All it takes is offering a bag of cocaine (which I don't use btw) and the women all flock. So your plan was to go f*ck another girl? Is that what you mean when you say 'find' girl? Because I said absolutely nothing about a lay. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cognac Posted November 19, 2009 Author Share Posted November 19, 2009 So your plan was to go f*ck another girl? Is that what you mean when you say 'find' girl? Because I said absolutely nothing about a lay. Um yeah. I don't really have an urgent need for relationships unless I really really really like the girl (like the one this topic is about), I find the vast majority of women to be extremely annoying and seldom are even half as fun as my male friends are. I only really care about sexual interactions with women when I am single. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Um yeah. I don't really have an urgent need for relationships unless I really really really like the girl (like the one this topic is about), I find the vast majority of women to be extremely annoying and seldom are even half as fun as my male friends are. I only really care about sexual interactions with women when I am single. That's dandy. But not the case here. 'Another' girl in this case means a girl other than the one you do like. So that's all irrelevant. Your statement of finding another girl was another immature factor, which was my point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cognac Posted November 19, 2009 Author Share Posted November 19, 2009 That's dandy. But not the case here. 'Another' girl in this case means a girl other than the one you do like. So that's all irrelevant. Your statement of finding another girl was another immature factor, which was my point. No, your point is to troll me with your self-righteous BS. Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Having just read through this entire thread I come to only 1 conclusion Cognac.. you're being a dick. ...that is all Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 No, your point is to troll me with your self-righteous BS. Lol, ok kiddo. Link to post Share on other sites
BobSacamento Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 This chick sounds like a total lamer prude. It's like she's never been drunk dialed before. Link to post Share on other sites
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