"call me when you grow up"

[dreamergrl]

The girl is going through a loss, grieving, you say some stupid drunk comment to her, you upset her, and then belittle her.

[cognac]

The girl is going through a loss, grieving, you say some stupid drunk comment to her, you upset her, and then belittle her.

 

I'm human too. Women are allowed to get away with anything, if she did it to me I wouldn't give it a second thought and probably say "what a dumb bitch" and leave it at that. Yet if i do it it's a crime worthy of the Hague.

 

Do I feel bad? yes. Do I want to make it up to her? Yes. But come on, I'm human too. SORRY if I'm not "perfect", find me someone who is and i'll find you a green dog.

[torranceshipman]

This chick sounds like a total lamer prude. It's like she's never been drunk dialed before.

 

Bob, did you realize her father just passed away, and Cognac called her when he was crazy drunk, and made a joke about her dying father? That really is low....just leave her alone Cognac - she's reacting in a healthy way - you're something unhealthy in her life and that's the last thing she needs right now when she's going through uch a horrible, hard time.

[Edward10]

With some people it is all about them, all the time. And the pity party starts when someone calls them on their b.s.

 

There is no appreciation for the untold support provided up until that point, including time spent and throughful analysis (time taken away from other critical activities).

 

Nope. That support is just expected, with reciprocal needs ignored.

 

Maybe I just need sleep. I'm off to bed.

[dreamergrl]

I'm human too. Women are allowed to get away with anything, if she did it to me I wouldn't give it a second thought and probably say "what a dumb bitch" and leave it at that. Yet if i do it it's a crime worthy of the Hague.

 

She told you to leave her alone after you do this to her. You keep at it though, and then degrade her because she isn't okay with what you said to her.

 

You claim that you apologized as a last resort? What is that?

 

It is quite apparent that you have some bad feelings toward women in general (based on your posts), it wouldn't surprise me if that showed through in real life, when you're drunk and calling her up.

 

When your SO is grieving and dealing with a loss, the last thing you should be doing is drunk calling them, being a jerk to them, and expecting them to understand this or that. You are being selfish. She needs support not more stress.

 

Do I feel bad? yes. Do I want to make it up to her? Yes. But come on, I'm human too. SORRY if I'm not "perfect", find me someone who is and i'll find you a green dog.

 

Then quit badgering her, quit making excuses, quit degrading her on here (maybe she can't read it, but your true colors most likely shine through), own up to what you did and respect her wishes to leave her alone.

 

No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, but it is what we do about it that makes a difference. Also many people deal with loss in their own way. If she's not up to forgiving you right now, because she's processing other emotions that hold a higher priority (as they should, it was a parent in her life who she was close to) then deal with it. Put your big boy undies on and accept that right now you are not her #1.

[Trimmer]

Then quit badgering her, quit making excuses, quit degrading her on here (maybe she can't read it, but your true colors most likely shine through)...

Yes, I bet they do, and he doesn't even realize how his attitude shows itself:

 

...if she did it to me I wouldn't give it a second thought and probably say "what a dumb bitch" ...

Yeah, that's an easygoing, healthy attitude toward your girlfriend...

 

My word is my bond.

[cognac]

She told you to leave her alone after you do this to her. You keep at it though, and then degrade her because she isn't okay with what you said to her. [/Quote]

 

Well a lot of times when women say "leave me alone" it's just a knee jerk emotional reaction, not what they really want. Another thing is that when she said "leave me alone" I assumed that if I didn't do anything it would be it, but she said she still liked me and would call me back some other time when she gets her life figured out.

 

 

You claim that you apologized as a last resort? What is that? [/Quote]

 

I didn't know what I had done and she only recently told me, and I apologized sincerely.

 

It is quite apparent that you have some bad feelings toward women in general (based on your posts), it wouldn't surprise me if that showed through in real life, when you're drunk and calling her up.[/Quote]

 

I have bad feelings towards most women (or rather, realistic feelings, not really "bad"), except the ones who prove to be exceptions like her.

 

I make sure that she knows her place in the relationship and I don't personally believe in an "equal partnership". I believe men and women both have unique gender roles and any woman I go out with has to accept this . So maybe some fat feminist may say "ABUSE" at this, but we both do not agree. However since she acts like a lady she gets treated like one as well.

 

When your SO is grieving and dealing with a loss, the last thing you should be doing is drunk calling them, being a jerk to them, and expecting them to understand this or that. You are being selfish. She needs support not more stress. [/Quote]

 

I agree completely. It's not like I'm the only person she's shutting out either, all of her friends haven't heard from her in days, so I don't feel that bad.

[Trimmer]

I have bad feelings towards most women (or rather, realistic feelings, not really "bad"), except the ones who prove to be exceptions like her.

Until the moment she crosses the line, and then, she becomes "one of them":

 

...I wouldn't give it a second thought and probably say "what a dumb bitch" and leave it at that.

[dreamergrl]

You say that despite your bad taste for women, you don't feel that bad feeling towards her. Yet the following leads me to believe that it doesn't matter who the woman is, you have the same hatred.

 

Everyone makes mistakes and I promised it wouldn't happen again (and my word is my bond). I don't think it warrants this kind of reaction from her.

 

First off all, you can't promise something wont happen again when at this point you say you don't know what you said. You are making a promise to suit what you want (to have her back, I'm assuming). Then, how do you know it didn't warrant her reaction, when you claim you don't know what you did. This leads me to believe you did know what you did, or have an idea and are trying to make it into nothing and/or validate what you did.

 

Well in my opinion she is being extremely irrational. I am almost sure I didn't say anything that bad to her for her to react this way.

 

If you don't know what you did at this point, and really can't remember, then how do you know this? Further more, knowing that she is grieving and is on an emotional roller coaster, how is fair and supporting to call her irrational?

 

Maybe she is on her period? I told her what I can do to get her back and she said "You have to WIN BACK MY TRUST". I asked how and she said "you're a man, you figure it out".

 

How can you make comments like this, yet claim that you're being understanding of what she's dealing with?

 

What does that mean? Why must women be so cryptic and expect us to be clairvoyant. Maybe she's just being a drama queen.

 

She told you to leave her alone, you didn't, and she's the drama queen? Again, while she's grieving and you add more stress to her?

 

Thanks for this little "grrrlll power" Lifetime moment.

 

Now please, if you have no advice for me, get out of my thread.

 

Imagine if we men blew up in hysteria every time you women do something slightly disrespectful to us. I have done and received far worse treatment from my male friends, and never once did we react beyond maybe throwing something at them or laughing it off , it was never a 2 week (or forever) grudge.

 

One of her parents dies, instead of being supportive, you do something nasty to her, and you want her to laugh it off? You get advice from people, but you don't like it, probably because it interferes with your women hating attitude.

 

Is this how you win a woman's trust back? By buying them things?

 

By treating them how they deserve to be treated. By taking what you did seriously.

 

I was thinking more along the lines of taking her some place romantic and just talking about it. I could be wrong though.

 

How about by respecting her wishes? How about by not thinking about YOU and letting her be?

 

Neither can I. I was thinking she was just bored with me and didn't like me anymore and was using this as an excuse to break it off, but she told me she did still like me just was angry about that one thing. I find it hard to believe someone can be so hung up on a little thing like a drunken voicemail

 

You're still worried about you you you, and not what you did to her. People do have feelings, and when you do something to hurt them, especially if the person is supposedly important to you, you should learn to have some empathy.

 

This is what I was thinking all along, at first I demanded to listen to it and said "if it really is as bad as you say, you will have my sincerest apology", since I could've sworn (but am not sure) that it wasn't that bad probably just immature. She refused and got ANGRIER! "U DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT U SAID , DONT LIE TO ME".

 

I bet she got angry because you wouldn't leave her alone like she requested in the first place. You were making demands, and hounding her.

 

If she wants to wrap me around her finger or manipulate me, it will never work.

 

If she wanted to wrap you around her finger, she wouldn't be telling you to go away.

 

I asked her YET AGAIN, VERY NICELY what I said that was so bad and offensive, after an intense investigation with my friends who were there came up that I didn't say anything bad AT ALL!

 

Your drunk friends, who couldn't remember much more then you? So you still keep hounding her?

 

Her response? "Keep my personal life out of your ****ing mouth". At this point I lost it and told her how childish and stupid she was acting. I said if she told me what I said or would let me listen to the voicemail that was so offensive, I would apologize, but that I was not going to grovel for no good reason.

 

Maybe she was tired of dealing with your dramatics at this point. Perhaps she didn't want any more of the added stress you were giving her? Why did you not just let her be? If she is so important to you, why didn't you respect her wishes?

 

After this silence and I just said "I really hate it when youre mad at me, i don't like to fight" and left it at that.

 

If she wants to kiss and makeup, great. If not, screw her I'll just find someone else.

 

Yeah.. um this really sounds like she's unique to you.

 

What can I say , I prefer to go out with gun's blazing.

 

Regardless, I have a feeling this is an attempt to question my will or see if she can manipulate me. I will extend the olive branch tomorrow once more (the day we usually see eachother) and if she revokes it, to hell with her. I will delete her from my lists, phones , and from my life in general. Nobody should make me feel this crappy without a good reason, or atleast telling me the reason.

 

And what good reason did you have to make her feel crappy? Being drunk is not an excuse. What does she have to look forward to next time you're drunk?

 

OK she finally cracked and told me what happened. She claims that in my vmail I said something insensitve about her dying father (I don't remember it) but she couldn't make it out. She claims that all i'm going to do is keep hurting her despite asking her to forgive me (i sincerely feel sorry) and she can't be around me at the moment and was crying on the phone. I felt pretty crappy.

 

I would hope by now you do feel bad, although I have a hard time believing it. We all know you don't like women. It shined through for her when you got drunk and felt the need to say something nasty about the death of her father. I don't care how drunk you were, a real man would not have done this. A man who truly cares for a girl would not have done this.

 

She said to give her space, that she appreciates my apology, and that she'll call me when her self-esteem is back to normal. She says I'm too much for her to handle right now and that my personality is very brute and apologized to me for storming away from me when I was trying to talk to her the other day.

 

Do you find it odd at all that she has to stay away from you for her to recover her self esteem?

 

I'm going to do as she asks. I just get worried because she's shutting everyone out and going through a lot at once (losing her job, dad dying, broke up with her annoying boyfriend, moving out, etc) and I want to help her. I don't think she knows what she wants, and she claism she can't talk to me because I'm always joking about everything. I guess i'll just have to do as she asks.

 

You didn't seem to worried about her through this thread. I hope you've learned something through out this. There's definitely something not right when a girlfriend has to dump her boyfriend because she needs to get her self esteem back because he couldn't be decent to her while she was going through a hard ordeal.

 

The best thing you can do to help her is to let her be.

 

And really, IMO, the best thing you can do for your dating life is to get past your hatred for the opposite sex.

[thegreatmoose]

I make sure that she knows her place in the relationship and I don't personally believe in an "equal partnership". I believe men and women both have unique gender roles and any woman I go out with has to accept this . So maybe some fat feminist may say "ABUSE" at this, but we both do not agree. However since she acts like a lady she gets treated like one as well.

This is disgusting. Abosolutely disgusting. How do you expect to get into a relationship a good woman thinking like that? This is a man's opinion. I think most women will find your statements even more offensive.

[dreamergrl]

This is disgusting. Abosolutely disgusting. How do you expect to get into a relationship a good woman thinking like that? This is a man's opinion. I think most women will find your statements even more offensive.

 

Eh, I had missed that post. That is disgusting. OP, how do you make sure she knows her place? Just what is her place? And why does a women get called fat for finding this wrong?

 

I'm shocked that you've made it this far with this girl.

[thegreatmoose]

Eh, I had missed that post. That is disgusting. OP, how do you make sure she knows her place? Just what is her place? And why does a women get called fat for finding this wrong?

 

I'm shocked that you've made it this far with this girl.

I find that strange too. The women that I know would have not wanted to be within a mile of someone with those views, let alone date them.

 

He's still somehow managing to date women despite his beliefs about women. If he were to completely change those beliefs and treat women with respect he may very well have a lot of success with women.

[dreamergrl]

I find that strange too. The women that I know would have not wanted to be within a mile of someone with those views, let alone date them.

 

He's still somehow managing to date women despite his beliefs about women. If he were to completely change those beliefs and treat women with respect he may very well have a lot of success with women.

 

I'm guessing he's got some control issues and goes for girls who are more easily manipulated. Hence, making sure they know their place. I'm willing to bet the girls he dates are younger or used to controlling relationships. Maybe dealing with it during her loss, she finally found her ending point in this type of relationship?

[cognac]

LOL UPDATE:

 

I tried to contact her yesterday to go out, and i got a text message from a guy I thought was her EX boyfriend, "You better lose this number for your own sake". I find that hilarious as I do not let anyone threaten me over any medium , and there will be a face to face confrontation if I have my way. I have lost all interest in her. She probably ran back to her paper-thin personality 30 year old whigger boyfriend, she can have it her way.

 

 

This is disgusting. Abosolutely disgusting. How do you expect to get into a relationship a good woman thinking like that? This is a man's opinion. I think most women will find your statements even more offensive.[/Quote]

 

You'd be surprised. I've met plenty of smart, attractive girls, who agree with my views on gender and gender roles 100%.Not every woman is a money/career/status worshipping feminist.

 

Eh, I had missed that post. That is disgusting. OP, how do you make sure she knows her place? Just what is her place? And why does a women get called fat for finding this wrong?

 

I'm shocked that you've made it this far with this girl.[/Quote]

 

The woman's place in my opinion is following the man. The vast majority of women , no matter what they say, like it when a man takes charge.

 

He's still somehow managing to date women despite his beliefs about women. If he were to completely change those beliefs and treat women with respect he may very well have a lot of success with women.[/Quote]

 

I disagree completely. If i was a wimp or a goody 2 shoes I wouldn't be able to hold a woman's attention for a second, or if I did it would probably be to drink/eat/etc on my dime.

 

I am a man and I do not hide or apologize. Women are secretly attracted to this mentality more than anyone else. And the women who aren't attracted to me, well I don't really care since they wouldn't be attracted to me regardless of personality. My ways can be a little extreme sure, but it's just my personality and if people don't like it, screw them.

 

I'm guessing he's got some control issues and goes for girls who are more easily manipulated. Hence, making sure they know their place. I'm willing to bet the girls he dates are younger or used to controlling relationships. Maybe dealing with it during her loss, she finally found her ending point in this type of relationship?[/Quote]

 

She is older than me, financially independent and stable, and very intelligent.

 

Regardless you've got your wish. Now she is back with her doormat base-ball obsessed boyfriend

[dreamergrl]

LOL UPDATE:

 

I tried to contact her yesterday to go out, and i got a text message from a guy I thought was her EX boyfriend, "You better lose this number for your own sake". I find that hilarious as I do not let anyone threaten me over any medium , and there will be a face to face confrontation if I have my way. I have lost all interest in her. She probably ran back to her paper-thin personality 30 year old whigger boyfriend, she can have it her way.

 

So someone decided to actually be there for her while you belittled and hurt her. Good on her for getting a real man!

 

If you have lost all interest, why are going to face to face confront this. Why not grow up and let it go.

 

 

 

 

You'd be surprised. I've met plenty of smart, attractive girls, who agree with my views on gender and gender roles 100%.Not every woman is a money/career/status worshipping feminist.

 

You'd be surprised how many women don't share those gender roles but aren't worshiping money and career. It just means they want to be treated with respect and dignity.

 

 

 

The woman's place in my opinion is following the man. The vast majority of women , no matter what they say, like it when a man takes charge.

 

So you want your woman to follow you around while you get drunk and belittle her?

 

I disagree completely. If i was a wimp or a goody 2 shoes I wouldn't be able to hold a woman's attention for a second, or if I did it would probably be to drink/eat/etc on my dime.

 

There are plenty of men who can treat a woman decently without having to control them, and still have their full attention :love:

 

I am a man and I do not hide or apologize. Women are secretly attracted to this mentality more than anyone else. And the women who aren't attracted to me, well I don't really care since they wouldn't be attracted to me regardless of personality. My ways can be a little extreme sure, but it's just my personality and if people don't like it, screw them.

 

Not this woman.

 

 

 

 

She is older than me, financially independent and stable, and very intelligent.

 

And she left you. She is smart

 

Regardless you've got your wish. Now she is back with her doormat base-ball obsessed boyfriend

 

And you keep bashing this guy. Why? He obviously is giving her what she needs. That bothers you, or you wouldn't be resorting to name calling.

[carhill]

I have this unhealthy feeling that she'll be back.... keep us posted...

[cognac]

If you have lost all interest, why are going to face to face confront this. Why not grow up and let it go.

[/Quote]

 

Because nobody tells me what to do, especially with threats.

 

You'd be surprised how many women don't share those gender roles but aren't worshiping money and career. It just means they want to be treated with respect and dignity.[/Quote]

 

I have yet to meet them. Besides women who have that attitude and are always so uptight bore me and hence don't really care what they think . I could never live or be with a woman who thinks men are supposed to be submissive or expected to tolerate all kinds of crap without them doing something in return. I only like submissive women.

 

So you want your woman to follow you around while you get drunk and belittle her?[/Quote]

 

Yes and no.

 

There are plenty of men who can treat a woman decently without having to control them, and still have their full attention[/Quote]

 

Yes only when the girl has no other opportunities.

 

Only guys i've seen that work with is the extremely attractive guys who women will like no matter what their personality is. But women are even unsatisfied with them when they refuse to take their natural place as a dominant man.

 

Not this woman.[/Quote]

 

Don't care.

 

And you keep bashing this guy. Why? He obviously is giving her what she needs. That bothers you, or you wouldn't be resorting to name calling.[/Quote]

 

No, he's not.

 

I have this unhealthy feeling that she'll be back.... keep us posted...[/Quote]

 

Let's hope so, not because i care but just to spite dreamergrl

[Taramere]

Well What does that mean? Why must women be so cryptic and expect us to be clairvoyant. Maybe she's just being a drama queen.

 

Then it sounds as though you're well matched.

 

Why don't you just call her back and say "I don't know what I said the other night. You have to realise that the need for drama via blacking out from alcohol and insulting women over the phone in front of my friends is my way of coping with SMC. I also tend to spout sexist platitudes a lot. I like to think that this will encourage women to react with coquettish anger and and men to accept me into the fold of manliness. I wear my flaws with a transparent veneer of pride to fend off criticism. Did I mention that I'd blacked out from alcohol when I spoke to you the other night. I need the love of a good woman. I'm not a f*cking clairvoyant. I need a woman to predict the future for me. I thought I smelled something funny when we were talking over the phone. Did you have your period? I only ask because I love you."

 

Then you could throw up or something, and explain that it's because you had a lot to drink. That will make her want to take care of you, I'm sure.

[TheLoneSock]

There are few things funnier than a nice guy trying to pull off the bad boy/jerk attitude.

 

If you were such a 'dominant' and 'real' man you wouldn't be posting on an online forum complaining about how women don't like you because you're short, and that your grandma thinks you're handsome. Get real.

 

It's no wonder you have the problems you do. I think you've read too many "How to-" books that tell you in order to compensate for things you lack, you have to act a certain way: like a twat.

Edited November 21, 2009 by TheLoneSock
typo

[cognac]

There are few things funnier than a nice guy trying to pull off the bad boy/jerk attitude.[/Quote]

 

I am a nice guy without "jerk attitude" as long as you deserve my kindness.

 

If you were such a 'dominant' and 'real' man you wouldn't be posting on an online forum complaining about how women don't like you because you're short, and that your grandma thinks you're handsome. Get real.[/Quote]

 

What's this have to do with anything?

 

It's no wonder you have the problems you do. I think you've read too many "How to-" books that tell you in order to compensate for things you lack, you have to act a certain way: like a twat.

 

 

If that's the case than i think you're the one with this problem.

[cognac]

After ignoring me for 2 weeks I finally decided to stop trying to talk to her like a grown up and try the same old dumb games that always work on women. I told her a little fib that I met a new girl who I was starting to like very much and likes me, and that if she doesn't text me within 2 hours to never talk to me again.

 

Low and behold, 5 minutes later, my phone rings.

 

"OHHH IM SORRY, I didn't know you would take the space thing so personally, blah blah blah blah. You just bring out a bad side in me when we're together blah blah"

 

She then gave me the "its not you its me" speech about how she needs time etc. Then I asked her if she was coming to school tomorrow and she said "I dont want to spend any time before or after class" and I said "fine have it your way" and she said "WAIT i'll call you when I get there"

 

Even though she said she didn't care about me boning other women, I told her this girl (i sort of made up) is 18 years old and she said "well you can do what you want, I know you're not going to fall in love with her or anything". What does this even mean?!

 

Why do women play such dumb little games?

Edited November 30, 2009 by cognac

[Enema]

...I finally decided to ... try the same old dumb games that always work on women.

 

...

 

Why do women play such dumb little games?

 

Within the space of one post.

 

At this point, I think he's either literally deranged, or a troll.

[TheLoneSock]

Within the space of one post.

 

At this point, I think he's either literally deranged, or a troll.

 

I thought the exact same thing.

 

It's absolutely hysterical.

[muse08]

I can't do anything but drop my mouth on this one. This guy is off the chain...literally..."missing links".

 

 

I wish the girl the best and hope she finds someone more sane...

[muse08]

Only guys i've seen that work with is the extremely attractive guys who women will like no matter what their personality is. But women are even unsatisfied with them when they refuse to take their natural place as a dominant man.

 

that's it! you're extremely insecure and feel the need to control and abuse...check that and correct that , ASAP young...

 

hint: you'll appear more attractive and confident if you just humble yourself. her fall for you may be short lived at the rate you're going.

 

it's obvious you have lots of growing up to do or you're just trying to get people worked up in here...