TerryW Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 6 months out......I call them lies in play. Lies that he told me after being caught. The latest one....Who knew about your affair? He had told me noone. I reasked the question and he tried to walk around it by saying I hadn't asked before until I said "Yes I did, I wanted to know who else betrayed me." Must have rung a bell or sounded reasonable. He told me the truth (?) yes he had told one of his friends. Tells me that the only lies left are "guy lies" like going to have beer after work and just not telling me. He can't remember any others. He says that He understands that he will have to tell me the truth no matter how painful it is to me "when these come up." My question to MC is...Do I have to reask all the questions again or wait until one comes up? My need for the truth vs. Not being able to process this right now. I have dealt with 2 deaths, 2 family illnesses (my Dad's in the hospital with a heart attack as I type) Plus all the fallout from his affair all in the past 11 months. I'm on the verge of no feelings/numbness. Yes he's doing things to fix this. (MC, transparency with current things) It's like he wants to forget all the past things and only concentrate on what he's doing now. I feel like yes we have to go back. Just knowing that there are lies out there makes me not want to continue with R until they come out. He has to admit and accept responsiblity for whatever may come. It makes me mad that he doesn't even want to think about these (remember) and just get them out. Avoidance...his main problem coming back up again. I think I would rather go back and reask when I'm better equipted to deal than to just wait until my world is rocked again. Lies in play because on some level I guess I believed them. Any help? Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 Ideally MC will improve the open and honest communication between the two of you, which will bring you closer together. At that point, once you are truly communicating with each other about the present ...hopefully you will have learned the skills required to sort out both of your thoughts feelings and needs and be able to talk about them openly and honestly without hostility. Your MC may or may not want you to talk directly about the infidelity immediately. Its a tough road, but worthwhile to learn the skills. Link to post Share on other sites
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