Timing Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 Do most people find that love is something that is present in a relationship right from the beginning or is it something that grows with time? My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 months. We get along great and I enjoy our time together. But I can't say that I know that I love him at this point. I find that I'm starting to miss him when we're not together and look forward to when I'm going to see him again. But I also still need and enjoy my time alone right after we part. It's been a number of years since I've been in a relationship, so I think maybe this is just all an adjustment for me. What do you think of my situation and what has your experience been? Link to post Share on other sites
CostumeSmile Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 I think love is definitely something you grow into b/c w/ time you get to know the person more and more and either feel more for them as you get to know more about them or not. 2 months is still early, there still a lot that you to can find about each other and with time you can either grow to love each other or decide that your not for each other. I mean I've also gone through the whole "love a 1st sight" thing but turned out to be more like "lust af 1st sight" and when I got to know the person it turned out that I didn't really like who he was all that much. I think that the best and longest lasting relationships are the ones the form with time. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 I think that the best and longest lasting relationships are the ones the form with time. Having now had both sorts of relationships, I cast my vote for this type. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 I think there is definitely a separation between infatuation and 'love.' Those pesky brain chemicals can sure cloud the distinction between the two. I prefer not to even define my feelings for a person as "love" until after the weak knees and butterflies have faded. If, with the passing of time, he can still tug at my heartstrings without me wanting to rip his clothes off... when just being in his company affords me as much gratification as sex ... when my happiness and contentment becomes as important as his...Then, and only then, do I now define it as 'love.' Link to post Share on other sites
trulyme Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 Well said Enigma!!! I want to hear more replies. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 Enigma - you hit it bang on. That last para should be made required reading for every human. Maybe it should be an obligatory screen saver!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 I don't believe in love at first sight, but I've definitely fallen in love very quickly before, I can tell when it'll happen, almost right off the bat, really. I've never had it gradually happen before, now that I think about it. Curious. Although looking at CostumeSmile, maybe I do believe in love at first sight... Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 ...(blushing) Gee, thanks guys! But you know, it took me forty years to finally figure it out. For the first time, I can honestly say "I am in love."... but it took experiencing it for the first time to understand what it was all suppose to be about ... what it was really suppose to feel like. Can't say that I've ever been at this place in my life before. Just wish I had learned it sooner. But I'd gladly go through the crap all over again just to be where I am now. Even if just for a day. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 But I'd gladly go through the crap all over again just to be where I am now. Even if just for a day. I LOVE it when people end up happily (wiping away tears) Ahem. Don't tell anybody I'm so sentimental. It'll totally RUIN my rep as a beyatch for folks like Bark LOL Link to post Share on other sites
dlb311 Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 I think that love with in two months depends on how much time you have been spending with the person. I have been in love twice the first time it took me a couple months and the next time it took me 8 months. You have to wait till the newness and the electric atraction fades then you can tell if its love or not. Love is different the infatuation. Infatuation is the start you have to see if the feelings just keep growing or if the just slower fade as time goes on. If you feel you get happier and happier each day you know you have him in your life you are probably headed for love. Its such a wonderful feeling to be in love! Link to post Share on other sites
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