hitnf Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 Hi all, just like to give my situation on all this love bs. I am a very unattractive 19 year old, who never had a date, or even a girl as a friend. Even at College, and at work, pretty much ignored outside of those places. The only place where they talk is at work and its very little, and like they seem more interested in other guys, this happens with all of them. I talk, have fun, and make them laugh, sometimes,(as in not every moment i am there, but enough to get my sense of humor across). It's stuff like they rather spend their break times with any other guy, and working at a cinema get free passes to movies, and i see the other guy co workers, with dates, or going out in group of girls and they dont seem to be a "player". I tried asking out a few girls for 6 years, i tried, failed, in between tried talking to a lot of them and it always seems like they do not want to talk much, i mean i ask them questions to get to know them more, and find a interest and try talking to them, and after that its like it does not matter, they rather talk to someone else. I mean i find this very strange if you find a interest and like they still do not want anything to do with you. In all times i tried being myself, as in sticking to certain things. Thing is i try respecting woman as much as possible even though stuff like this pisses me off. Now you could ask the reasons why i want a gf, well damn, to start a proper relationship, need to be friends first, and thats not happening. Also the reason is that, would like emotional support, someone to talk too you get the point... I don't want to get one just cause everyone else wants one and goes to the cinema and show off(couples making out in front of everyone or on the escalator.. Another thing is i am not white, and not black, which some girls go for, cause its the looks that matter more to them then how the person is on the inside, then you could say i got crap inside me also. I try to express myself never works out, having my self confidence crushed by my family when i was growing up 14-18, and still now every now and then. Then i go out in this world looking for girls as friends cause i think they can provide support that i use and feel better, but no get rejected by the opposite sex. You can say i dont smile that much, but i do try and damn like another thing is if ever i go out with any of my friends or even my brother or dad, girls look at them more (paranoia) i dont think so. The funny part is that even though i do not know any girls i am in the peace studies and womans and gender studies certificate program at school. Woman seem to only like any other guy friends,bf, etc.. Honestly there is nothing much i can do, now its getting late also. People are getting older and have gone out for years, and so on, at least progressing, and meanwhile i have to watch the world go by.. and i guess you could argue the negative energy, i try to hide it cause girls only want guys who are self confident, and etc,,,, who are attractive, so i guess if your very unattractive like me, i can forget having any friendship with the opposite sex.. Thanks for any input, Hitnf Link to post Share on other sites
CostumeSmile Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 Look hun...#1. Different people have different taste, one girl may not think your attractive but I'm sure the other does. There's a spanish saying that I know it's "Para los gustos se hicieron los colores" translation "Colors where made to satisfy different taste" What makes you think your so unattractive? I suggest you just relax and let them come to you. Your absolutely correct about the whole "self confidence" thing, we girls do like that and can spot an insecure man a mile away too...not very appealing and I think that you may be just trying too hard. Smile more often it makes you more approachable. What nationality are you? You said not black or white....which by the way I think has nothing to do w/ your problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hitnf Posted December 13, 2003 Author Share Posted December 13, 2003 Trust me they all find me unattractive, if i have no friends, or dates. Nationality is indian, and i am born and raised in Canada. Another thing is that i do have fun also and smile, but comon if a person is torn within they wont be smiling all the time and MAYBE it takes getting to know the person and then the Person could be happy, but no people only want their happiness right on the spot especially for woman. The just relax part, ya i do it for the last year or so and guess what NOTHING. Insecure, not entirely my fault being bashed down by family, then by way some girls are, maybe it takes a little FRIENDSHIP to get things going in the right direction, but no girl wants to do that. Later, H Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 13, 2003 Share Posted December 13, 2003 CostumeSmile is correct....there is someone for everyone....and sometimes waiting on the two to bump into each other feels like an eternity. You are only 19.....you have lots of time left. Till then, check out the way you dress, your hair, your smile, the way you say 'hello'....and see what you can do to perhaps improve upon what the world sees when they meet you. Insecurity has a way of shadowing over the most brilliant smile or shining eyes. Everyone has something about them which makes them unique and special. You just haven't pinpointed yours yet. Somewhere out there is a girl just for you.....and believe it or not....you WILL find her! Arabess Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted December 13, 2003 Share Posted December 13, 2003 The problem could be in yourself, and by that I mean, it is. If you see yourself as unattractive, others will pick up on that. Don't resign, find something that you like about yourself and use it to put yourself in situations that will further build your confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted December 13, 2003 Share Posted December 13, 2003 always have high self esteem....ppl can see through you if you have low self esteem, c'mon you can see the same of others too right? smile more often, it'll make you feel more attractive and sociable/friendly, it will help you make friends of any gender. go here where you read my replies, i think this should address your situation : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t29510/ Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 The fact that you are Indian has nothing to do with it. I am Indian, and I didn't date until I was 19. I had a lot of the thoughts that you do, I built my self coinfidence and now I am dating a great person, who is probably the person you would least expect to, a german descent, blonde girl who was a cheerleader in HS and only dated football players Link to post Share on other sites
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