Author McGrupp Posted November 21, 2009 Author Share Posted November 21, 2009 hmmm...because im not pinning really for the girl so much, especially because i cant face the facts, which if i look at them clearly say its over and that she has moved on. what i want back (in the letter) is the companionship, the comfort and the dream of having a family and a partner through life. but that being said, i never pedestalled her until the breakup. maybe a touch. maybe. not sure about that. i have to attack my whole way of thinking for a bit, but that also means thinkng about her some more... Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted November 21, 2009 Share Posted November 21, 2009 (edited) hmmm...because im not pinning really for the girl so much, especially because i cant face the facts, which if i look at them clearly say its over and that she has moved on. what i want back (in the letter) is the companionship, the comfort and the dream of having a family and a partner through life. Yep And would add that there is cognitive dissonance between the girl in your realtionship and the one we learn more about...all the questionable behaviors...and your willingness to push that stuff aside. but that being said, i never pedestalled her until the breakup. maybe a touch. maybe. not sure about that. i have to attack my whole way of thinking for a bit, but that also means thinkng about her some more... but your wrong about the thinking about her more, just the opposite, its not about her, so more thinking about her the more your traveling down the wrong dead end road. It is about thinking why you find being alone so unsettling (most of your post is more about that then sending letters, breaking NC, ect... you already know the answer you will get before you post. In fact your given that advice to others), Think about who was the important person in your life who was not there when you need them (abandonment), Think about where did you learn this pattern of being the care taker(co-dependency)? How about where did you learn to take blame for the things out of your control? And why you feel if your not perfect your not any good? These are a few better things you can work that bean in your head. And trust us, as you do we will be here to listen. Edited November 21, 2009 by GrayClouds Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts