MY GF keeps hanging out with her X

[robert]

My GF had a 3 year relationship with a guy before me. Maybe I am exagerating but, they still get together, and sometimes he drives her to work, ##### like that. I trust her, but what the ##### does he want?

 

Is he still hoping to get her back. Why would a guy, after breaking up, do all this #####, why cant he just move on and get a GF. That pisses me off. When I say ##### about it, my GF tries to say that I am taking it seriously. I want that ASSWAD out of her life, he has hurt her enough........

 

And my GF is very naive, and trusts too many people too much, does not learn lessons. I dont want his idiot ass hanging around with her, and discussing with her his currently f***ed up state of mind, not being able to find the right person...what the ##### should I do???

 

help!!

[Ninja Extraordinare]

My GF had a 3 year relationship with a guy before me. Maybe I am exagerating but, they still get together, and sometimes he drives her to work, ##### like that. I trust her, but what the ##### does he want? Is he still hoping to get her back. Why would a guy, after breaking up, do all this #####, why cant he just move on and get a GF. That pisses me off. When I say ##### about it, my GF tries to say that I am taking it seriously. I want that ASSWAD out of her life, he has hurt her enough........

 

And my GF is very naive, and trusts too many people too much, does not learn lessons. I dont want his idiot ass hanging around with her, and discussing with her his currently f***ed up state of mind, not being able to find the right person...what the ##### should I do??? help!!

Don't be Jealous.

 

It's a waste of time.

 

You say you trust her? You wouldn't be writing this if you did trust her.

 

The mind is a gearbox, it has 5 gears.

 

YOUR mind is in 67th gear.

 

Shift back down to 1st or 2nd and just ENJOY THE RIDE.

 

If you do trust her as you say. Then she'll do the right thing. If she doesn't....Let it go.

[Tony T]

While you cannot control who your girlfriend sees, hangs around with, or what she does, I think it is not out of bounds for you to ask her to respect her relationship with you by dropping out of her ex's life. As a matter of fact, considering your feelings here, she is being pretty rude.

 

NEVER, EVER chalk up a woman's behavior as naive. I have seldom met a lady who didn't know exactly what she was doing. So there is a purpose in this behavior.

 

I would tell her, in a very kind and gentle way, that her continued association with her ex in more than an occasional phone call is unacceptable to you. Let her know you feel it is part of a past she needs to move on from and that your relationship with her cannot grow if she's hanging on to that. If she balks, let her go.

 

You will never be happy or comfortable with this going on and I wouldn't either. She very well may have no other intentions but to assuage her guilt or otherwise just conduct a friendly conversation with this dude. But now she must consider YOUR feelings over HIS and if she won't, give her the boot. Your post has a bit of an angry tone to it and you don't need to live like that.

 

I am assuming that you don't attempt to assert control over other aspects of her life, which wouldn't be right on your part.

[robert]

Maybe the purpose is she just does not want to loose completely what she had for 3 years, and i respect that, but do you think i am being overly concerned? Because I am getting this feeling that this guy does not wish us to be together, and maybe is still allowing one more possibility that we break up, and they will get back together.....

 

I have noclue, this is what sucks about dating someone how has been in a long term relationship....

 

I dont know what to do! Everytime i bring this up, she goes: Hey , dont worry about it, why are you acting like a child, you dont trust me...bla bla bla....I trust her, but I dont trust this idiot....

 

While you cannot control who your girlfriend sees, hangs around with, or what she does, I think it is not out of bounds for you to ask her to respect her relationship with you by dropping out of her ex's life. As a matter of fact, considering your feelings here, she is being pretty rude.

 

NEVER, EVER chalk up a woman's behavior as naive. I have seldom met a lady who didn't know exactly what she was doing. So there is a purpose in this behavior. I would tell her, in a very kind and gentle way, that her continued association with her ex in more than an occasional phone call is unacceptable to you. Let her know you feel it is part of a past she needs to move on from and that your relationship with her cannot grow if she's hanging on to that. If she balks, let her go. You will never be happy or comfortable with this going on and I wouldn't either. She very well may have no other intentions but to assuage her guilt or otherwise just conduct a friendly conversation with this dude. But now she must consider YOUR feelings over HIS and if she won't, give her the boot. Your post has a bit of an angry tone to it and you don't need to live like that.

 

I am assuming that you don't attempt to assert control over other aspects of her life, which wouldn't be right on your part.

[Tony T]

I stand by my earlier post. Read it again. Myabe others can give you a different perspective. But you have to go with how you feel and you simply have to put your foot down to her rudeness.

 

You may or may not be correct about her ex. But if they had a three year relationship and now are "buddies" you can bet there are some sort of feelings there.

 

Take some action today.

[magicklady]

No.. you don't trust her! If you trusted her you would just let this go. She is going to do what she wants to no matter what you have to say about it. Tell her that it makes you uncomfortable for her to do all these things with her ex. 3 years is a good deal of time and it is still a comfort zone for her and him as well. He might not want her, but he might not want anyone else to have her either.. You are just going to have to talk to her in a non accusing way and tell her how you feel. If she continues to do this and it makes you feel this way continually, you need to let the relationship go and find someone that cares more about your feelings than her own..