pureinheart Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 "she was feeling alone and neglected in her marriage, by me being there for her for 2 years she found what was missing in me and thus helping her stay in her marriage" you are her savior,from this agony....could you tell me who is there to save that H " if i could knowingly ruin her marriage, if the child is her husband's how could i break up a family" oops...what is there to ruin.. you already ruined everything in her M...now telling her H ruin nothing...unless you are sh*t scared about how this guy is going to react.... "her husband to stop emotionally abusing her " classic...she is the one abusing him mentally/physically(stds) with your generous help for last how many years.... "we spend so much time together i think she spends more time with me then her husband" her H seems to be the real abuser... what if it's your child....you are willingly wiping your hands off...if that is your intention then this is the right time to detach yourself from her....god save that H Wow, Scorp...you are like way right...I couldn't sleep at all knowing my kid was with an abuser....wow, good point and insight... Link to post Share on other sites
Author friend Posted February 7, 2010 Author Share Posted February 7, 2010 "she was feeling alone and neglected in her marriage, by me being there for her for 2 years she found what was missing in me and thus helping her stay in her marriage" you are her savior,from this agony....could you tell me who is there to save that H " if i could knowingly ruin her marriage, if the child is her husband's how could i break up a family" oops...what is there to ruin.. you already ruined everything in her M...now telling her H ruin nothing...unless you are sh*t scared about how this guy is going to react.... "her husband to stop emotionally abusing her " classic...she is the one abusing him mentally/physically(stds) with your generous help for last how many years.... "we spend so much time together i think she spends more time with me then her husband" her H seems to be the real abuser... what if it's your child....you are willingly wiping your hands off...if that is your intention then this is the right time to detach yourself from her....god save that H i am not wiping my hands of the child, if its mine i will do anything i can to get custody. He will not raise my child, he will probably try to beat her up in the hospital and leave her (hes put his hands on her before). God save that husband? Hes cheated on her 4 times, choked her, thrown her against a wall, neglected her, talks down to her and more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author friend Posted February 7, 2010 Author Share Posted February 7, 2010 telling him wouldn't ruin there marriage, cheating does that. You willingly slept with his wife and now you are worried about their marriage? Im not worried about the marriage, im worried about her. She decided to keep the baby, it is not going to be mine, it will be her husbands, if i tell the H about the affair he will leave her, she will have to raise the baby alone, im not sure i could do that to her even after everything that has happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Author friend Posted February 7, 2010 Author Share Posted February 7, 2010 How do you rescue someone from themselves?:confused:She is where she wants to be and you are willing ride the roller coaster of torture. Do you like the drama? No i dont like the drama. This isnt the situation i would like to be in, i fell in love with her while we were just friends. I listened to her problems and believed her when she told me she was leaving him and getting a divorce. I fell further in love with her over time, you dont think i've tried to leave her before? i've tried, its not as easy as you think. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 i am not wiping my hands of the child, if its mine i will do anything i can to get custody. He will not raise my child, he will probably try to beat her up in the hospital and leave her (hes put his hands on her before). God save that husband? Hes cheated on her 4 times, choked her, thrown her against a wall, neglected her, talks down to her and more. You have proof of this? It is the law that if she went to a doctor and these injuries were observed, they are obligated to call the police. Then from there the system would have taken over an prosecuted with or without her cooperation. That is if she is in the US. Seems to me you are being feed more crap than a toilet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author friend Posted February 7, 2010 Author Share Posted February 7, 2010 "He will not raise my child, he will probably try to beat her up in the hospital and leave her" i would do the same....i see nothing wrong in it "Hes cheated on her 4 times" you talking about cheating...looks odd....she is been cheating him for the half of their M(2years of affair in 4yrs M)....ya....cheating Nice glad you see nothing wrong with beating up a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author friend Posted February 7, 2010 Author Share Posted February 7, 2010 You have proof of this? It is the law that if she went to a doctor and these injuries were observed, they are obligated to call the police. Then from there the system would have taken over an prosecuted with or without her cooperation. That is if she is in the US. Seems to me you are being feed more crap than a toilet. I went out with her 2 best friends a couple times, they both know about the abuse and spoke about it. Its true, she didnt go to the police though. They are trying to get her to leave him also. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 you don't see anything wrong taking pleasure from OM's w you don't find anything wrong in getting her pregnant you don't see anything wrong in cheating in on your exW but you really find it offensive when a cheater gets beaten up....yup..you definitely got a point it's never ok to beat anybody up. Well, maybe child molesters. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused4Now Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 etr.......I don't see any value in what you have to say. Friend just ignore this person.... Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 i am not wiping my hands of the child, if its mine i will do anything i can to get custody. He will not raise my child, he will probably try to beat her up in the hospital and leave her (hes put his hands on her before). God save that husband? Hes cheated on her 4 times, choked her, thrown her against a wall, neglected her, talks down to her and more. And you know this how? because she told you ? Where is her family? her friends? do they all know about this alleged abuse? Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 I went out with her 2 best friends a couple times, they both know about the abuse and spoke about it. Its true, she didnt go to the police though. They are trying to get her to leave him also. Then back to the question I asked earlier.....how do you "save" someone who doesn't want to be saved. I don't think you met abuse with abuse to solve a situation(yes I consider an A abuse) it only escalates (if she is telling the truth)what you think is a dangerous situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Joe Normal Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Hello all, I am currently the OM, have been for about 1 1/2 years. My MW has been seeing a therapist to help her leave her husband for about 4 months now. She tells me she doesnt love him and wants out but that she needed help on how to break things off since they have been married for 4 years. Recently there was a community service event that i really wanted to go to and i asked her if she could go but said she couldnt get out of the house. Today i found out that she went...but with her husband. I am very upset at this. Could it be that she is seeing the therapist to make things better with her husband and leaving me in the dark? How am i supposed to know that she is seeing the therapist to leave him? in the 4 months i really havent seen any changes with her marriage. She still lives with him, goes home to him, goes home after work at the same time, etc. Wouldnt a therapist try to get her to distance herself from him by now? Do therapist give them steps and things to do to try to leave a marriage? like leave the house more on the weekends etc? I am just confused and not sure what to do. Any help or info would be great. Thank you very much. 95% of married people don't divorce to be with their affair partners. Most married affair partners lie to the singletons they are involved with. Chances are she does not love you and won't leave for you, she probably just wants fun on the side and a bit of attention/affection, no more. Sorry but the overwhelming likelihood is that you are being played for a fool. She has already blatantly lied to you once - that alone is enough reason to leave. Remember, the very fact that she is screwing you on the side means she is a dishonest liar. It is silly and naive to expect a dishonest liar to be honest and truthful. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 95% of married people don't divorce to be with their affair partners. Most married affair partners lie to the singletons they are involved with. Chances are she does not love you and won't leave for you, she probably just wants fun on the side and a bit of attention/affection, no more. Sorry but the overwhelming likelihood is that you are being played for a fool. She has already blatantly lied to you once - that alone is enough reason to leave. Remember, the very fact that she is screwing you on the side means she is a dishonest liar. It is silly and naive to expect a dishonest liar to be honest and truthful. I'm not arguing with you, but with the D rate at 50% in the US, and 60% in some states, how do you figure that 95% of M people don't leave for the singleton? I'm just curious as to where you get your figures. Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Originally Posted by friend i am not wiping my hands of the child, if its mine i will do anything i can to get custody. He will not raise my child, he will probably try to beat her up in the hospital and leave her (hes put his hands on her before). God save that husband? Hes cheated on her 4 times, choked her, thrown her against a wall, neglected her, talks down to her and more. Wow if this is true no wonder she is out cheating. She should really leave him and get out of the abuse. Link to post Share on other sites
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