Krazyj2 Posted June 14, 2000 Share Posted June 14, 2000 im having a problem with my ex-g/f. i still love her and so does she i want to get back with her but i kinda screwed up i am an angry person and can't help it. Also i can't express my feelings to her. right now we are best friends but i know shes hoping to get back together and so am i can you give me some advice!! Please Help. She says if i change we will get back but i think i have changed what should i tell her and can you give me some advice on expressing my feelings i got my anger under control please help!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 14, 2000 Share Posted June 14, 2000 You need to see a really excellent psychologist to help you get over some emotional issues that will destroy almost any relationship you enter. You say in your post you are an angry person and "can't help it" and two sentences later you say you think you have changed. I DON'T THINK SO!!! You have total and complete control over you emotions. YOU CAN HELP IT. Every person everywhere in the world is totally and complete responsible for their behavior unless they are mentally retarded or have a serious brain or neurological dysfunction. People get angry because things don't go their way or people don't say things the way they demand they should be said. So what makes YOU think you're so great that everything should go your way all the time??? You need to cool your jets and a professional counsellor can help you. I have found that people with anger and control problems usually have unresolved issues from a screwed-up childhood. These are very common and very treatable. If you can't afford counselling, go to a bookstore and read a good book on handling anger. A nearby university may offer free counselling as part of their psychology program. There are also excellent anger management programs everywhere operated by local social service agencies. Give them a call. Don't wait until you are put in one by a court. As far as communicating emotions, many men find it difficult. You have to take baby steps. Start with just short, affectionate pats on the back...then a gentle kiss on the cheek now and then for no reason...and work up the ladder from there. Verbally, start complimenting her now and then (sincerely), increase the frequency a bit, then more and more let her know what you love about her. Just a word or two at a time, one day at a time. Men always have a tendency to make temporary changes under crisis situations, such as the one you're in now. But without proper professional help you will revert right back to your old angry, controlling, emotionally uncommunicative self. It sounds like you want to change, although you have the opinion you can't. But you CAN and now's the time!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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