How important is a womans naked body to men?

[StalledGirl]

Women care more than men do but it's hard dealing with body image problems(i've severe body issues) when it comes to sex.

I didn't care about an ex boyfriend who had stretch marks after losing weight as sexual attraction is about more than just skin.

As for vaginas , surely all genitals are quite ugly to look at?!

[Els]

how did i misinterpret your statement to look in cosmo for the perfect women? what we are seeing in the magazines in a false sense of perfection - a false sense of reality if those "perfect" women have been severely altered.

 

I think he was responding to JS's claim that porn is the sole culprit for the propagation of altered images of 'perfect' women.

[Jersey Shortie]

I never said porn was the sole culprit. But since we are talking about naked women and what that means to men, and how men view women, I think it's appriopiate to regongnize the importance porn and stereotypes play in the eyes of men.

[thegreatmoose]

Men will take what they can get but they are interested in women with perfect bodies. That's why so much of male media is just that, women with perfect bodies in a certain age range. THey don't want to see imperfection. Average guys think they deserve twin 18 year olds with implants.

 

There would have to be something really wrong to not turn me on.

 

I don't usually quote myself, but in this case it makes a point perfectly. An 18 year old with breast implants is not my idea of a perfect looking woman anyway.

[Jaytb]

I never said porn was the sole culprit. But since we are talking about naked women and what that means to men, and how men view women, I think it's appriopiate to regongnize the importance porn and stereotypes play in the eyes of men.

 

Can you please reread the thread and tell me some of the male responses? Or do you just troll the thread and spew your talking points autonomically?

[jerseyboy]

I never said porn was the sole culprit. But since we are talking about naked women and what that means to men, and how men view women, I think it's appriopiate to regongnize the importance porn and stereotypes play in the eyes of men.

 

 

Oh please

 

Women arent that much different or less shallow

 

In fact the only difference Ive known is women will place a much higher priority on status/money, something rarely ever a consideration with men.

 

I dont have a problem with it. Its how we are programmed.

[threebyfate]

Trial, you take two extreme cases and try to make some kind of outlandish point. I got to tell you, I am not hugely attracted to perfect looking men with stellar bodies and perfect Greek looking faces.

 

And I HUGELY disagree that people can seperate fantasy and reality as much as you you seem to think so. The whole reason people even buy into the feelings a fantasy cause is because their brains are tricked into believing the fantasy on some level. And most people do not know the man hours and work it takes to creat the fantasy. So no, I don't think people seperate fantasy and reality as well as they use to. Part of that is because of the overly extended media world we live in.

Oh, so JS, you would take the harelip guy with no discernible penis? Speaking of fantasies...

 

Come on, get off your soap box about men being such horrible creatures, solely focused on the superficial and being so intensely stupid, they can't differentiate between fantasy and reality.

 

I won't argue in the least, that there are men who are intensely superficial. Avoid like the plague, once you figure this out.

 

I also won't argue that there are men caught up in la-la land, incapable of separating fantasy from reality. Avoid like the plague unless you want to take on the mentally ill.

 

But why would you target these two anomolies, in manhood? Why not look to the men you're interested in, who are interested in you?

 

This thread like so many others, is an example of why people should stop zeroing in on solely the negative, until it becomes obsessive. Balance your perception by bringing in the positives. Most often, you'll find that the positives outweigh the negatives, sometimes almost tipping the scale.

[Jaytb]

Oh, so JS, you would take the harelip guy with no discernible penis? Speaking of fantasies...

 

Come on, get off your soap box about men being such horrible creatures, solely focused on the superficial and being so intensely stupid, they can't differentiate between fantasy and reality.

 

I won't argue in the least, that there are men who are intensely superficial. Avoid like the plague, once you figure this out.

 

I also won't argue that there are men caught up in la-la land, incapable of separating fantasy from reality. Avoid like the plague unless you want to take on the mentally ill.

 

But why would you target these two anomolies, in manhood? Why not look to the men you're interested in, who are interested in you?

 

This thread like so many others, is an example of why people should stop zeroing in on solely the negative, until it becomes obsessive. Balance your perception by bringing in the positives. Most often, you'll find that the positives outweigh the negatives, sometimes almost tipping the scale.

 

seriously, i don't even know if she reads threads before spewing her diatribe. Most or possibly even all the male responses were something like I don't mind stretchmarks or wrinkles or other imperfections and she autonomically posts how men only want perfection from women and are interested in "18 year old twins with implants". I don't think any guy desires an 18 year old with implants , lol

[AD1980]

Oh please

 

Women arent that much different or less shallow

 

In fact the only difference Ive known is women will place a much higher priority on status/money, something rarely ever a consideration with men.

 

I dont have a problem with it. Its how we are programmed.

 

Exactly..Plus lets not act like Women dont salivate over six pack abs and that image is used to sell things..

 

Men have insecurities too its just not to the obessive level of women and its usually fear of not beign bale to attract te oppsoite sex wit these things

 

A women seems to be different..She can be told by 100 guys that shes attractive and they dont care and shell still complain

 

Thast why i dont buy thats its simply these poor women who dont think theyre good enough because of the medias view of women i think allot of it is narcisistic and self absorbed traits allot of women have

 

I tihnk allot of it is women fishing for compliments from guys saying "im so ugly" and expecting tme to say no youre beautiful

 

And i also think part of it is competiton with other women..A attratcive girl knows shes attractive no matter what little flaw she sees but i think women see another wome nand want to look betetr then her and see her as competition..

[threebyfate]

seriously, i don't even know if she reads threads before spewing her diatribe. Most or possibly even all the male responses were something like I don't mind stretchmarks or wrinkles or other imperfections and she autonomically posts how men only want perfection from women and are interested in "18 year old twins with implants". I don't think any guy desires an 18 year old with implants , lol

Jay, I went through a phase, similar to JS's, where it bothered me that men objectified women. This came from my own issues, where I would focus on a few men that pursued me, their attitudes, and couldn't get out of my head that the other men who pursued me, didn't think the same way. I wanted to be loved for all of me, internally and externally. It came from the experience of my previous marriage, where my looks were THE most important thing to my ex. And then, he cheated on me. So I hated being valued for the superficial, hated it to the point of detrimental.

 

It took years to realize that the power was inside of me, that I learned how to differentiate someone who valued the superficial, over the composite person, that I always had that inside of me. So I learned to trust in my own instincts and as of yet, they've never been wrong.

 

I sincerely hope that one day, JS can move away from this kind of detrimental thought process. The difference between our issues, is that she's trapped in gendercide, where my previous focus was with men who pursued.

Edited November 22, 2009 by threebyfate

[jerseyboy]

Exactly..Plus lets not act like Women dont salivate over six pack abs and that image is used to sell things..

 

Men have insecurities too its just not to the obessive level of women and its usually fear of not beign bale to attract te oppsoite sex wit these things

 

A women seems to be different..She can be told by 100 guys that shes attractive and they dont care and shell still complain

 

Thast why i dont buy thats its simply these poor women who dont think theyre good enough because of the medias view of women i think allot of it is narcisistic and self absorbed traits allot of women have

 

I tihnk allot of it is women fishing for compliments from guys saying "im so ugly" and expecting tme to say no youre beautiful

 

And i also think part of it is competiton with other women..A attratcive girl knows shes attractive no matter what little flaw she sees but i think women see another wome nand want to look betetr then her and see her as competition..

 

 

I think as a whole there are far more attractive women than there are attractive men. Maybe its gender biased and I just cant see it myself, but when the topic has come up most women tend to agree. So by sheer default things end up the way they do.

 

Women do have to settle more for practical reasons as well. If I meet a 30 yr old woman living with her parents, and unable to support hersle financially, I dont think great, but it wouldnt be a deal breaker. Her income or career prospects arent important to me.

 

Now a woman faced with that choice.....

 

Those realities aside, women are just as visual as men I think.

[AD1980]

 

Those realities aside, women are just as visual as men I think.

 

Oh easily,the idea that women arent visual cretures is hillarious..

 

 

Id say theyre even more visual then men.. They voted presidents on how good looking they are at times..

 

Ive seen married women in my circle of friends all fawn over some good looking guy who was out..

 

Women are extremely visual..

 

 

.

[Jaytb]

Jay, I went through a phase, similar to JS's, where it bothered me that men objectified women. This came from my own issues, where I would focus on a few men that pursued me, their attitudes, and couldn't get out of my head that the other men who pursued me, didn't think the same way. I wanted to be loved for all of me, internally and externally. It came from the experience of my previous marriage, where my looks were THE most important thing to my ex. And then, he cheated on me. So I hated being valued for the superficial, hated it to the point of detrimental.

 

It took years to realize that the power was inside of me, that I learned how to differentiate someone who valued the superficial, over the composite person, that I always had that inside of me. So I learned to trust in my own instincts and as of yet, they've never been wrong.

 

I sincerely hope that one day, JS can move away from this kind of detrimental thought process. The difference between our issues, is that she's trapped in gendercide, where my previous focus was with men who pursued.

 

ugh. So how do you help someone like that? Do they have to learn on their own?

[threebyfate]

ugh. So how do you help someone like that? Do they have to learn on their own?

They first have to realize it's detrimental to them. Then they have to anchor to something, preferably something inside of them, since if you rely on external anchors, there's no guarantee the external anchor will always be there. After that, it's just a matter of changing thought processes that create inaccurate perceptions, which is why it's important to bring in positive thoughts, to balance the negative thoughts.

[Ruby Slippers]

I think as a whole there are far more attractive women than there are attractive men.

 

Interesting study on the subject: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/science/article6727710.ece

 

FOR the female half of the population, it may bring a satisfied smile. Scientists have found that evolution is driving women to become ever more beautiful, while men remain as aesthetically unappealing as their caveman ancestors.

 

The researchers have found beautiful women have more children than their plainer counterparts and that a higher proportion of those children are female. Those daughters, once adult, also tend to be attractive and so repeat the pattern.

 

Over generations, the scientists argue, this has led to women becoming steadily more aesthetically pleasing, a “beauty race” that is still on. The findings have emerged from a series of studies of physical attractiveness and its links to reproductive success in humans.

[carhill]

Yeah, men never inherit genetic qualities from their mothers....oh, wait, insanity??

[james123]

of course, it is important.

certain things can be really off putting, although stretch marks and all are no big deal.

[tigressA]

I'm one of those naturally thin girls, kind of a 'hard body' in that I don't have a whole lot of cushioning. I'm generally confident in my body, though once in awhile I do feel a little insecure and have wondered if a guy I'm with is feeling like he'd like to have more to hold on to--especially if he has a history of dating women with more meat on their bones.

 

BTW, I love my stretch marks. I call them my tiger stripes.

[laRubiaBonita]

my experience with men (in a general sense) is that they don't tend to notice or concentrate on a gals deficits when it comes to her physical traits. women do that more than men.

 

men tend to appreciate good overall visual effects a woman can deliver... which includes clothes that accentuate her positive features and downplay her unattractive areas. some women are better at this than others.

 

i have found that men that are more mentally mature will appreciate a woman for her intelligence as well as her physical qualities which he admires - deficits and all - he is more adept at tuning in to the things he finds quality in - rather than noticing things she may find unattractive about her.

 

lesson learned - women - DO NOT point out things you dislike about your body to men... they probably will never notice what you do. they have their own personal preferences in viewing and interacting with women. some things they just don't need to know.

 

also, if a man is highly critical of LOTS of things - this should be a HUGE red flag that he will just be impossible to please - even given a woman with a perfect body. we cannot expect to please everyone - we only need to be accepting of ourselves... what they do with their own opinions is none of our business.

 

2sure has summed it up well i think

[Jersey Shortie]

Oh, so JS, you would take the harelip guy with no discernible penis? Speaking of fantasies...

 

Come on, get off your soap box about men being such horrible creatures, solely focused on the superficial and being so intensely stupid, they can't differentiate between fantasy and reality.

 

Trial, why don’t you try using a more realistic comparison? Your over the top comparison does very little for your own point. I would take a bald man, a pudgy one, a bald AND pudgy one. I am not one of those women that are turned on by perfect teeth. He could even have a crooked tooth or two. He could have a crooked penis. I would take a man with a harelip. With a hairy back…now I sound like Dr. Seus.

 

The things that turn me on, aren’t perfect Greek-God types. You want to wrongly over-exploit my opinion and try to ply it off as me being on a soap box, or try to say that I think or have said men are horrible creatures, you do that. But it’s really quite twisted and false.

 

Lets also clearly define something about fantasy and reality here. I never said men or women couldn’t differentiate between fantasy and reality. You making the insinuation that I did is clearly wrong. You’re over simplification is either an inability to understand a deeper psychological analysis, or a purposely misrepresentation of my thoughts because of ignorance.

 

I think men and women can both differentiate between fantasy and reality on many levels. I think we all know the book definition of these two words. What I think you and others fail to admit, is the reason that fantasy is so successful, is that it has an ability to “trick” the mind on certain levels. That’s why people buy into the fantasy to begin with. That is why people feel a variety of emotions when scoped with a fantasy. That is why they are titillated and tricked with the possibilities. Some fantasies and titillations are more easily to spot, some are trickier and the mind does not distinguish between them as easily. We all know porn is fantasy. However, more and more men are asking for more porn-like sex acts. More and more men and women have certain expectations about sex, love and life, based on some fantasies we have decided to entrench ourselves in. I don’t think men or women understand the extent to which images are airbrushed, scenes in movies are re-shoot to appear a certain away, or the million other tricks used to dupe us into fantasy world. When people don’t have a clear idea of what it takes to create the fantasy world, they develop misconceptions about what reality is. You want to dispute my point? Please do. I would love to see you try and counter the points I am making. I don’t think you can because I think you see truth in my words. That is why you choose to attack me and over simplify or make untrue statements about me.

 

I wanted to be loved for all of me, internally and externally.

 

Why is that a bad thing? I want to be loved for all of me too, internally and externally. We always talk about what is "natural" for men to do. Well it's darn well natural for women to want to be beautiful and loved.

[threebyfate]

Trial, why don’t you try using a more realistic comparison? Your over the top comparison does very little for your own point. I would take a bald man, a pudgy one, a bald AND pudgy one. I am not one of those women that are turned on by perfect teeth. He could even have a crooked tooth or two. He could have a crooked penis. I would take a man with a harelip. With a hairy back…now I sound like Dr. Seus.

 

The things that turn me on, aren’t perfect Greek-God types. You want to wrongly over-exploit my opinion and try to ply it off as me being on a soap box, or try to say that I think or have said men are horrible creatures, you do that. But it’s really quite twisted and false.

 

Lets also clearly define something about fantasy and reality here. I never said men or women couldn’t differentiate between fantasy and reality. You making the insinuation that I did is clearly wrong. You’re over simplification is either an inability to understand a deeper psychological analysis, or a purposely misrepresentation of my thoughts because of ignorance.

 

I think men and women can both differentiate between fantasy and reality on many levels. I think we all know the book definition of these two words. What I think you and others fail to admit, is the reason that fantasy is so successful, is that it has an ability to “trick” the mind on certain levels. That’s why people buy into the fantasy to begin with. That is why people feel a variety of emotions when scoped with a fantasy. That is why they are titillated and tricked with the possibilities. Some fantasies and titillations are more easily to spot, some are trickier and the mind does not distinguish between them as easily. We all know porn is fantasy. However, more and more men are asking for more porn-like sex acts. More and more men and women have certain expectations about sex, love and life, based on some fantasies we have decided to entrench ourselves in. I don’t think men or women understand the extent to which images are airbrushed, scenes in movies are re-shoot to appear a certain away, or the million other tricks used to dupe us into fantasy world. When people don’t have a clear idea of what it takes to create the fantasy world, they develop misconceptions about what reality is. You want to dispute my point? Please do. I would love to see you try and counter the points I am making. I don’t think you can because I think you see truth in my words. That is why you choose to attack me and over simplify or make untrue statements about me.

Your points are valid but only for "some" individuals. So what does it matter that a percentage of the population is strongly affected by external pressures? Why not avoid individuals like this? Why must society have solely one perspective?

Why is that a bad thing? I want to be loved for all of me too, internally and externally. We always talk about what is "natural" for men to do. Well it's darn well natural for women to want to be beautiful and loved.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be loved for all of you. But focusing solely on the negative for the entire other gender, isn't rational and is extremely detrimental to your ability to find a partner. Why not just trust in your own instincts, instead of believing that the majority of men are worthless cretins who are solely superficial? While sure, men are visual, they're not all cretins, who prioritize the superficial at the cost of the rest.

[justforfun]

I've read the thread and come to the conclusion that stretch marks don't matter, big boobs are not necessarily important, big butts are desirable and an ugly face is preferable over an ugly vagina.

 

Have I got it thus far?

[thegreatmoose]

I've read the thread and come to the conclusion that stretch marks don't matter, big boobs are not necessarily important, big butts are desirable and an ugly face is preferable over an ugly vagina.

 

Have I got it thus far?

No, an ugly face is a huge turnoff to me. The majority of women have beautiful faces.

[jerseyboy]

No, an ugly face is a huge turnoff to me.

 

 

Yeah me too:)

 

Faces are much more important to me than bodies.

[Lishy]

Yeah me too:)

 

Faces are much more important to me than bodies.

 

The most important thing, according to this thread is confidence

 

The thing is that you cant fake confidence in the long run ... You have to feel it!