A Question About Faith and Prayers Being Answered

[Ash20]

Hello everyone, I was hoping for a few thoughts on this situation, as it means a lot to me and I really need help figuring this out. Thanks

 

So here's the background to the situation:

 

I met a guy who I fell completely in love with. I have never felt this way about anyone, and he has told me he feels the same way. Well, to make a long story short, he has a friend/ex gf who was jealous of the attention I was getting from my bf and she tried to tear us apart, and while that factor didn't really break us up, I couldn't get over it, and our fighting broke us up.

 

I was very upset by the breakup because, although we had our issues, I know we still really cared about each other, and I felt like we were meant to be together. So, not knowing where else to turn, I began praying for he and I to work things out and eventually get back together. I had faith that this would happen. And in time, he and I began to talk and work things out and now we're back together. The problem is, the girl who tried to break us up is still in his life, and she continues to hurt me (although not as much as she used to) and she continues to play games with my bf and she hurts him and uses him, but he won't admit it. It really hurts me to see this girl hurting both my bf and me and I just want the pain to stop. I find myself getting upset and crying often because I care about him so much and I feel powerless against the situation. I know he cares about me, but he won't end his friendship with her. Since my prayers were answered with my bf and I getting back together, I began to pray very intensely about this situation, praying for her to go away and for her games to stop so my bf and I can move on with our life together. I have a few friends who I've been confiding in about it and they are also praying for me. My prayers have been unanswered so far. I know I've only been praying about it for a few months and I know prayers aren't always answered right away. But I'm at a point where I'm beginning to lose my faith and I don't know what to do. I fear that I'm beginning to go down a bad road, and I don't want to. I'm beginning to wonder if my bf and I will ever be rid of this pain and game playing, and I wonder if I should just give up and end the relationship or keep fighting for the relationship and keep praying. I just don't think I can take this girl much longer. Although I've only been praying about the situation for a few months, I've been dealing with it for almost 2 years now.

 

I really need help and support in this matter, as I am greatly suffering. I would like to hear your ideas on faith and prayers being answered please based on my situation. Thank you so much for your input

[Tony T]

You're not very good at psychology. The more you let this bother you, the more your bf is going to be entertained. You have absolutely no control over his ex. You need to trust your bf and simply ignore her. The more you let her bother you, the more she will do so. If you're so insecure that you feel your bf is going to go back to her or otherwise be tempted, you need to exit the situation. There is no good reason for you to be uncomfortable in the relationship.

 

She is the one showing her immature butt. Don't do so yourself!

Edited November 21, 2009 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[quankanne]

yep, it's really more about this woman showing her rear than prayers going unanswered, IMO.

 

at this point, maybe the best thing to do is to pray for patience as you sort this situation out; eventually, something's gonna give, and it'll probably be her when she realizes y'all refuse to play her game, you know?

 

meanwhile, don't let this be a deal-breaker between you and God, because that fruitcake is not worth losing your faith over.

[Malenfant]

lots of people pray for loads of stuff and dont get it.

 

It could just be that it was mere coincidence that you and your BF started talking again after you were praying.

 

or maybe you're being greedy and asking god for too much stuff? like you got what you wanted, knowing full well that his ex was still on the scene, you got the guy now you have to deal with the cr*p that goes with it.

 

bit much to say 'thanks god, you granted my wish, now can I have another one please?'

 

its a bit of a cop out trying to pray for something like this situation to go away. life isnt always easy, and in order to get what you want sometimes you do have to sort problems out on your own.

 

if it was as easy as praying for stuff, and it was just granted, we'd all have everything we want, but there would be no sense of achievement in life.

and life would loose its meaning. you have to sort out your own problems.

[Ash20]

Ok, I understand what you are saying, and I know you can't just pray for everything and it'll happen. I know you can't pray for stupid stuff, like your favorite team winning the game. Before I started praying about it, I had been trying to sort this issue out for the past 2 years. Nothing is really working. Everytime I make a little bit of progress, she ruins it by threatening my bf and he gives in to her demands. I am tired of it, and I saw praying as trying to take a new approach to it, and since this is only the second thing I've ever really asked god for, maybe he would help me out a little bit. Besides, even if I'm not with my bf, I still think he deserves better than this girl in his life and hope god can at least help him out. I don't think I'm being greedy about it. And I don't think I'm being lazy by expecting everything to be taken care of for me, because I don't. I go to school, have a challenging major, and try to take care of every other problem myself as best as I can. But in this situation, there's nothing I can really do anymore, and I don't think it's wrong to ask for a little help.

 

And Tony T, I've been trying to ignore her, but she is an impossible person to ignore, especially given that she is always around and is friends with my mutual friends with my bf. I know I have not clearly conveyed the whole situation because it would take hours, but I have every reason to be uncomfortable. But it's not because I'm afraid he's going to leave me for her. I know that wouldn't happen. He doesn't want a relationship with her because he knows it wouldn't work out because she would drag him around again...he has said this. He does want to be friends with her though. I know she doesn't want a relationship with him because she doesn't want to be tied down to one guy. This is how she is. She likes much attention from guys. She has also messed with other guys' girlfriends, but seems to be especially targeting me and my bf for some reason. She doesn't care how many good relationships she steps on...as long as she gets what she wants, and I'm tired of this mindset of hers.

[Malenfant]

Ok, I understand what you are saying, and I know you can't just pray for everything and it'll happen. I know you can't pray for stupid stuff, like your favorite team winning the game. Before I started praying about it, I had been trying to sort this issue out for the past 2 years. Nothing is really working. Everytime I make a little bit of progress, she ruins it by threatening my bf and he gives in to her demands. I am tired of it, and I saw praying as trying to take a new approach to it, and since this is only the second thing I've ever really asked god for, maybe he would help me out a little bit. Besides, even if I'm not with my bf, I still think he deserves better than this girl in his life and hope god can at least help him out. I don't think I'm being greedy about it. And I don't think I'm being lazy by expecting everything to be taken care of for me, because I don't. I go to school, have a challenging major, and try to take care of every other problem myself as best as I can. But in this situation, there's nothing I can really do anymore, and I don't think it's wrong to ask for a little help.

 

And Tony T, I've been trying to ignore her, but she is an impossible person to ignore, especially given that she is always around and is friends with my mutual friends with my bf. I know I have not clearly conveyed the whole situation because it would take hours, but I have every reason to be uncomfortable. But it's not because I'm afraid he's going to leave me for her. I know that wouldn't happen. He doesn't want a relationship with her because he knows it wouldn't work out because she would drag him around again...he has said this. He does want to be friends with her though. I know she doesn't want a relationship with him because she doesn't want to be tied down to one guy. This is how she is. She likes much attention from guys. She has also messed with other guys' girlfriends, but seems to be especially targeting me and my bf for some reason. She doesn't care how many good relationships she steps on...as long as she gets what she wants, and I'm tired of this mindset of hers.

 

ok Ash, i wasnt implying you're lazy, just that even though your prayers were answered before, it doesnt mean that they always will be, or that you should loose your faith if they aren't.

 

i'm not a believer, but i think that you should use your faith to give you the strength to do what you need to do, which is to put your foot down with your bloke. take charge of the situation. he is your man, and he's doing stuff thats allowing this girl to come between you.

tell him you're not going to put up with it anymore, and mean it.

[RA1]

I'm not a believer so obviously would not spend any time praying myself. I do find meditation useful to clear the mind, understand the bigger picture, and help make better decisions.