elijah64 Posted November 21, 2009 Share Posted November 21, 2009 I don't know if any of you can help me. If not, then I'll just say this is to vent. But I'm incredibly depressed right now, because of my friendships and lack thereof. I do have a lot of friends, though I'd say I'm only REALLY close to two of them. When I go out with these friends (which is rare), I have a good time, we laugh a lot, etc. But I never get invited to do anything when my friends go out as a group. I usually find out about it through someone's status on facebook or from a conversation later. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't tend to bitch around my friends when we're out, so it can't be that they think I drag them down or whatever. I don't have B.O., so it's not like they feel like they're gonna vom around me. Also, I have A LOT of trouble making new friends. People tend to just walk right by me, no matter what group or clique they're in, without saying a word. I've heard some people think I'm a snob, but I'm really not; and besides, there ARE people who are genuine snobs. Wouldn't they WANT to be friends with other people who are snobs (not that I would want to befriend a snob; I'm just trying to make a point)? I'm just so tired of being ignored by the friends that I do have and not being able to make new ones. I've never felt more alone, and I don't really know what to do. If someone could help me, I'd greatly appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
LonelyGuy85 Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 I understand your frustration, and it's a difficult situation for you. I went through a similar thing last year, and i waited to be invited out but in the end i lost those friendships. Your friends might not be aware that you want to go out with them, so the only thing i would suggest is for you not to be afraid of being too forward. Text them and ask if they fancy doing something with you, or if they are up to anything. Show that you are very much interested in being their friend. Link to post Share on other sites
flosskel Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Echoing what lonelyguy85 said, maybe you should be a little bit more forward. Ask them periodically if there are any plans or whatever. The same exact thing has happened to me several times and it's usually been because my friends have assumed that I wouldn't hang out for one reason or another. Once I cleared that up, things got better... until it happened again later because I passed up a few hang outs. Had to clear up again. haha, kind of a cycle which is annoying but it shouldn't be that big of a deal for you to bring it up. Link to post Share on other sites
temple Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I understand what you're going through and I agree with what the above posters have said. I would add that if nothing changes in time, these are toxic friendships anyway and you're better off finding new friends. Don't worry, people grow out of these 'gang mentalities' once they get older. Link to post Share on other sites
Miko Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I think if you read 'how to win friends and influence people' by Dale Carnegie you will get all the answers you need. It was written over 70 years ago, it's cheap, simple, a fairly quick read and you'll better understand why you like the people you like and why they may or may not enjoy being around you and what you can do about it. Over 15 Million copies sold. Trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
Peaceful Guy Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 well, i can really relate to your situation.. a couple of years ago i felt a very similar way. though it was tough, it didn't last forever. one thing i know now that i didn't know then, was that though it was hard to meet new people, now that i am making a bunch of new friends there's the excitement that goes along with it. its really sort of like being a kid again in a way. the hope, humor, new heart to heart connections.. it really is better now than it was then. i feel like i could go on and on about this because i dont want you to feel like i did for so long!! for me, the key was to get back into stuff that i had moved away from because it was hard to get the group i was with into it... like.. impossible! stuff that i loved so much but sort of let slip away.. like how much i LOVE to go dancing. i mean i really do, but no one else was into that. when i started to really get back out there, listening to the music i love with the people that felt the same way as me.. it was like starting over! but it took some doing.. it took some feeling snubbed.. two years! i just recently posted "when you feel as if your not wanted" also in the friendship section.. if youre getting back out there, it might help. and hey, people DO like you! p.s. it doesnt have to take you so long!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Peaceful Guy Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 I think if you read 'how to win friends and influence people' by Dale Carnegie you will get all the answers you need. It was written over 70 years ago, it's cheap, simple, a fairly quick read and you'll better understand why you like the people you like and why they may or may not enjoy being around you and what you can do about it. Over 15 Million copies sold. Trust me. god i ****ing hate it when people say you HAVE to read this book.. how many of you people work for publishing companies? and also, all those books seem to be about manipulating people.. written by someone that's making money off your perceived shortcomings.. really think about that people!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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