I'm such a fool...

[Soru]

I've been beating myself up a lot lately for my stupidity...My hesitation, and idiotic ways. I overcomplicated our situation, and now she says she's through with me. I dont wanna lose her because she means so much, but my stupid hesitation is what made this ****ing happen...well heres the deal:

 

I've had deep feelings for this girl for a while now, right? She has an attraction for me as well, but not on the same level as I do for her. She tries to get close, and as stupid as I am, I get far too clingy way too fast, and push her away.

 

Okay, now fast forward a month after no talking. Yeah I feel terrible, sad as hell, and in pain...The usual stuff a heartbroken fellow goes through. But as new classes come by, the two of us are in there together. As much as I tried to move on from her, I couldnt...Especially when I see her a lot more often since she's in the class.

 

Even though I pushed her away, there was still a mysterious attraction between us in the classroom, even though neither of us spoke often in there. I still felt like a complete mess because I thought I had ruined things, and eventually the girl noticed I was feeling this way, and she wanted to know what was wrong with me. Me, being the complete difficult dumbass that I am told her that i didnt want to tell her in fear of pushing her away again. WTF?! What was I thinking? She was trying to connect to ME and I rejected?!

 

"I dont want you to keep your emotions bottled up"

 

But I still dont tell her out of fear. A spineless fool I am. Throughout this specific time period, she's shown signs of affection, but I dont accept them out of nervousness, and fear of coming to her too strong like I did before. The end result? Her telling me that she is done with it. That she's done with it, and she's done with me. I understand full on that I'm the fool. I did exactly what I was trying to avoid.... Pushing her away. She started to show concern for MY feelings, but you know what? How could I not second guess myself when I see her all over some other dude at one point? But even then, I should've opened up to her, and told her how I felt. Now she doesn't want to bother with it, and that I made things too complicated.

 

I don't know how I can fix this. I really care for her, and I want to get her attention back, but I dont want to seem like a wounded puppy crawling to its master. I dont want to seem pathetic, begging for forgiveness. The day in class when she told me she was through with my nonsense (last friday), i txted her asking her if there was any way I could fix it, and she never txted back. ):

 

What do I do? How can I possibly gain her affection back?

Edited November 23, 2009 by Soru

[lookingatyou]

hey, i didn't want to read and run. i'm in a not too dissimilar situation ( i apologized to my friend, thread) As somebody who is on the other other end of this friends/feelings mess, and also in your position too, i can understand your agonies. If i were you, or i were her, i'd do this. Write her an email or a letter- not a text, too short. And just tell her how you feel. lay it on the line, let her know its cool either way, whatever her answer is, but that the truth is always the right answer.

 

you need to hear the truth, not some bullcrap. its no good for either of you. what has been happening is game playing. i know you don't want to scare her off and you're shy- i feel the same way. but this has been going on for long enough. if shes showing signs and you cant accept them out of shyness, i can dig that too, you can solve that by TELLING her, properly, then you will never be able to keep saying "well maybe she misunderstood me". get the truth, then you can start to work with it. good luck, keep us updated.

[WTRanger]

I don't think this girl will give you a third shot. You're lucky she gave you a second shot. Most girls don't even do that. Yes, she liked you. She had to of, if your story is correct. But, and to be as brutal as possible, you blew it.

 

You need to learn to take down your walls. Get help if you have to. But this girl is gone for good. Once you hear a girl tell you she's done with you, that's pretty much her throwing dirt on the grave.

 

The more you chase her, the more you will push her away. If you feel that you must tell her everything, do so. But do NOT expect a response. Expect her to gut you even further. Expect her to be brutal with you, telling you exactly where you failed. That is, of course, if you even get a response.

 

The best thing you can do right now is to move on from her. At this point, she doesn't exist to you. Work on yourself, work on taking those walls down so you can have healthy relationships in the future.

[BeautifulMan]

Stop being emotional and tell her you want to be with her and see where it goes from there. Start out by talking to her as a friend, have fun with her after a week or two lay it on her. If she liked you that much this should be a breeze.

[Jordanjames]

First thing I want to say to the OP you are NOT a fool. You have simply fallen for this girl you can't help it the heart wants what the heart wants. However, maybe if you step back and process the situation you will see you deserve better.

 

 

I have a question for the OP I know this might sound blunt but what is so special about this girl? As you waste your time and energy thinking about her you could be meeting someone else. I know this is hard for you but you got to get back out there.

 

You may be having good days and bad days thinking that something may happen between you and this girl but it sounds like it is a difficult situation.

 

The OP is in a tough situation I think he should "try" to take his mind off of this girl and work on himself. Do you have friends? Why not hang out with the guys go to a bar or something? You need to get out there and try to meet people. The more you hang on to this "one girl" the harder it will be for you. Sometimes in life things don't go the way we want to.