any1 Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 ...remember you may be the only person s/he feels s/he can talk to. Hearing this phrase will often effectively shut them up. Permanently. I had only one person to confide in, a relative who, as it turns out, doesn't want to hear any of it. Too much drama. So I finally learned to give her the answer she wants to hear, when she asks how I'm doing: "Oh, just fine." And if the hopelessness and isolation become too much to bear and I ultimately follow in the steps of my sister, she will be left behind wringing her hands and saying, "Gosh, why didn't she try to talk to anyone?" Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Hugs, any1. I'm sorry you're having a difficult time of things, and I'm sorry about your sister. The problem is that other people do not have the mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and material resources, nor the time, to just always "be there" if, when and how we want and need them. They have their own issues, challenges, pain, disappointments, responsibilities and obligations to deal with, and their own lives to live. That does not mean that YOU do not deserve to have the support and guidance that you need, though. I would urge you to speak with a trained professional who will be able to make you a priority during your time with her or him, and will be able to offer you comfort and assistance. You could check at school, or through local churches or community-based service organizations. If you are in crisis, you can also call a hotline or go to your local emergency department. Even though it may be difficult, there are things that you can, and must, do for yourself. (Sometimes, that's the part that sucks the most about growing up ) It does sound as if things are rough for you right now -- here's hoping that things will get a bit better soon! Link to post Share on other sites
Author any1 Posted November 26, 2009 Author Share Posted November 26, 2009 I am probably decades older than you; I am no child. Nor was my sister. If I had the resources of which you speak available to me, do you not think I would have used them? Have you never heard of that entire segment of the population who fall through the cracks? Re-read your statement: "The problem is that other people do not have the mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and material resources, nor the time, to just always "be there" if, when and how we want and need them. They have their own issues, challenges, pain, disappointments, responsibilities and obligations to deal with, and their own lives to live." And that, right there, says it all, doesn't it. Yes. Your own lives to live. That's what "paid professionals" are for, after all. Not family. Not friends. Isn't that a much easier, more convenient, and cleaner way to live? I pity your family and your friends. I pity you, too. And I pray that some day, you need not reap the bounty of your own words and attitudes. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 any1, It's encouraging that you've found some anger (or hostility, or whatever you were feeling at the time.) So much better than self-pity, really, because at least with anger we have a chance, however slight, that we'll get off our asses and actually do something instead of just whining about all that is wrong in our lives and with the world in general. Thank you for your prayers. I will hold you in mine, too. I do not fear having to take responsibility for my Self in the future (I'm doing that now), but your thoughts about that are nonetheless appreciated. God bless. Link to post Share on other sites
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