Do the "get them back" ebooks work?

[HeavenOrHell]

How to train your girlfriend! OMG I've heard it all now

 

Is there a how to train your boyfriend one too?

 

 

I'd like to chime in on this one.

 

I bought the Ex2 system before I found this site. Alot of the concepts were good, but it didn't work in my situation because I was getting strung along which it has no real advice for, it's good for complete breaks... Maybe. But it did have good concepts to follow.

 

However, the supplemental ebook, how to train your girlfriend is solid gold.

It goes into great detail about how to be a man, behave, set bounderies, develop your role... I mean it's REALLY good stuff. It helped me grasp what I need to be like in any future relationship, and it uses no manipulation or mind tricks or anything bad. It's a blueprint for bettering yourself and doing things for you and keeping control of yourself. And it teaches you all the behaviors that will cause your ex to leave, which I did most of them though I didn't realize it till it was too late. If that is sold seperate get that one, so you don't lose your next girl (or ex if they come back, which is highly unlikely).

[HeavenOrHell]

Scam definitely. How could it possibly work for everyone! I imagine most couples which split will never reconcile, some people just aren't compatible.

 

 

Whenever I see these sites.. I think.. SCAM right away.

 

But during an awful breakup a few years ago I gave in and actually bought one. That ex is a complete buffoon so needless to say it didn't work with him, but then again he's so emotionally cold I doubt anything will even be able to make a dent on his heart.

 

Now during my current breakup, I found it on my harddrive and re-read after a few years later. Surprisingly, it had little fluff (at least the one that I had gotten) - but instead common reasons why guys leave relationship, the woman's contribution.. re-reading it again really made sense in the context of this relationship.

 

The thing is the ebook didn't advocate strict NC like on this site. It said not to contact him first (unless its been over 2 months and you still want him back) but otherwise, the advice was to be happy, in control, slightly detached from the situation, and to be able to walk away if he doesn't treat you right even though you want to get back with him - basically, to bring back the value and respect he had for you when you first started dating but then for whatever reason he lost.

 

It makes sense to me, but on the other hand, its also a little counterintuitive, since I'm more of a NC person, so I was wondering what other people's opinions or experiences on this.

[red_cloud]

Scam definitely. How could it possibly work for everyone! I imagine most couples which split will never reconcile, some people just aren't compatible.

 

Actually, I read in a psych book once that like over 90% of relationship problems are communication issues, not compatibility issues.

 

So while it might be true that they might not reconcile..its not necessarily a compatibility issue.

[ADF]

I think they are a scam in that they target people who are emotionally damaged and try to exploit that pain for profit. Most people are ambivelant follwing a breakup. Even if they initiated it, they are bound to have mixed feelings. They often see getting back together with the ex as a way of making the pain go away. These books play to that ambivelance.

[name witheld]

Actually, I read in a psych book once that like over 90% of relationship problems are communication issues, not compatibility issues.

 

So while it might be true that they might not reconcile..its not necessarily a compatibility issue.

 

i agree with that, it is certainly true in my situation. Lack of communication not lack of compatibility.

This is why I think reconcilliation is possible as long as the lines of communication are open.

 

Thats not meant as an excuse to break NC, I am back in LC after she broke NC. Read my other posts.

[horridus]

Well, there are some ways to definitely get your ex back if you step outside the bounds of legality.

 

Are you suggesting that they kidnap, detain, torture, murder and ultimately mutilate the corpse of their lifeless ex? If so I would also like some advice!

[bluestraps]

The information can certainly work. Because people are basicaly the same psychologicaly speaking. These guides are based on stuff like the Law of Attraction, and basic Psychological principals. I especialy like them for a guide in new relationships or when you start to see problems occouring.

 

Ive found that its better to not screw up in the first place. When they leave you it's usualy too late

 

Some of these also give you tips on how to be more romantic,how to communicate better, ect...

 

There may be the ocasional instance where someone is just really flawed and you just may be a bad fit and It might be a bad idea to "make up"

 

The sucess of the guides to me, like The Magic Of making Up" or " Fight for love." or "Reunited Relationships" depends on the other person and if they are dating someone else or if there is totaly a really good reason why they broke up with you.

 

I think if the person who breaks up with you stays single, the ebooks work best for that situation. Because at some point you will contact them and try to get them to meet you for a casual get together. I won't comment any further because you may want to try one of these ebooks.

 

 

 

I have experence in this . About 6 years ago my ex girlfriend and I broke up. She met a some what older guy ,even older than me. At first he was funny and she really liked him. She thought they were so compatible. They ocasionaly got together for casual dates. I think I was able to somewhat know how things were going because he worked with a friend of mine. In fact thats how they met .

 

I was dumb and let my girlfreind around other guys, which proved to be a problem even now. In my case we would have other problems later.

 

 

I basicaly talked to her maybe once or twice in about, I think, two months. Well I hear that they talked on the phone mostly and His work situation was such that he could not get away to see her . This made her rethink the relationship. Also other things must have happened to make her realize it didnt work.

 

also Eventualy I found out that she needed to go to the hospital and stay for a few days. He went to visit her and I got the story that he came and he smelled really bad because he was sweaty and he tried to cover it up with cologne and deodorant. ANd it made him smell even worse.

 

He would kiss her and he always like hold her hand and he just would be so carefull with her. He would always say how great she was .

 

She would say that he always put her on a pedestal. She got tired of not seing him and him always making excuses for his not being able to see her. They lived quite far away.

 

So she told me how much she missed me. She wished I was at the hospital with her , and we were ok for about another two years.

 

This is a really good example of a rebound gone bad.

 

So as you see I did NC. for a while and it worked . You can't get out of controll right away and start panicking and trying to get them back by begging or geting angry texting or emailing or Facebooking.

 

Many of these guides focus on the rebound relationship. If the person that broke up with you did it because they met another person, this could be a good thing if the new person turns out to be a flop.

 

During the rebound stage. The person will be comparing you to the new man or woman in their life. At first they probably wont really realize it , but as things start going bad they will become more aware of the differences and it may allow the chance for a reconciliation

 

In relationships, Many factors may be involved for a breakup. I see it this way you can either wait and see or you can be more active in trying to get your ex back. Ive been through both.

 

I think the guides are pretty good for a new relationship or after getting back together actualy. Because there are alot of good tips for not doing some of the dumb things that people do in relationships. I have bought two different guides. And I actualy wish I had gotten these a long time ago. i could have used them for my benefit. I will continue to do so.

[bluestraps]

That's an interesting point. I always thought it was easier to leave newer relationships b/c there is less history. In a longer one you shared so much there is more motivation to work it out.

 

Its easier to break up than get divorced.

 

Like, if we were married, we'd pretty much solve this right away. But b/c we're just dating and there isn't that much history, there's less motivation to try.

 

Just the opposite. The longer the relationship the more problems that may be involved. Women mostly do the dumping. In my case The main reason my girl and I broke up is because I didnt ask her to marry me after a 10 yr LTR. and she decided to move on and shes seing and living with a ex close friend. The different ebooks dont give any advice on that. A time goes by it can work both ways . I would keep going and try to get to the finish line. She got tired of running the race !!....