Lakeside_runner Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Hey, how many of you when dating someone have 'the talk' to become exclusive (and after what time) and for how many of you it kinda happens naturally, i.e. over time you realize that your gf/bf ?
looking4 green grass Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 No clue, but I really want to know the answer!
Author Lakeside_runner Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 Seriously? 32 people read the thread and nobody replied? I take those 32 people never have been in a relationship or what? WTF?
icemann12 Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 ive had both, there was one girl i was seeing for a while but the time we realized we were bf gf was when we were at a party and someone said so are you guys bf/gf? and we both just looked at each other then said yeah.. lol and there has also been times when you have a talk with the person to make it official
justforfun Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Seriously? 32 people read the thread and nobody replied? I take those 32 people never have been in a relationship or what? WTF? Ok take a chill pill. Looking at the number of posts you have made since you have been on the board about the same time as me says you must be a reader as opposed to a poster to. Not only that why don't you actually put in the subject exactly what the post is about. You give your post a 'subject' that is a 'teaser' which means people have to click on it to see what the post is about. If it's not relevant then they will move on. And even for a thread that is interesting or relevant to a lot of people you can expect less than a 10% response rate. Your post is not really one that spans the age range of the posters on the board and would be unlikely to interest them. Or they probably don't think they have anything to add. I would say that you'll have to wait until some of the younger posters come online to get many responses.
jerseyboy Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 I decide pretty quickly. Usually after a few dates.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 OK, I took the pill... True - the topic could be less teasing and more to the point but I thought the question is a simple 'yes' or 'no' thing. It's either you had cereal for breakfast this morning or you hadn't. I don't think the age range has anything to do with the question. It's not like the issue is something that pertains to people of certain age... Thanks for your remarks though and I'll try to better myself in the future.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 I decide pretty quickly. Usually after a few dates. Yeah, but do you sit down and talk about it with the second party or do you just wait for them to bring it up?
D-Lish Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 I prefer not to bring up "the talk" with someone I am dating. I also don't like it if a guy does it to me before I am ready ~ it's too much pressure in my opinion.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 I prefer not to bring up "the talk" with someone I am dating. I also don't like it if a guy does it to me before I am ready ~ it's too much pressure in my opinion. So, in other words it happens naturally, right? One day you just assume that you're exclusive?
EarthGirl Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Seriously? 32 people read the thread and nobody replied? I take those 32 people never have been in a relationship or what? WTF? yep, never been in a relationship..but I just saw this thread for the first time just now. of course there is not much I can add to it.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 yep, never been in a relationship..but I just saw this thread for the first time just now. of course there is not much I can add to it. Not true! You could say which one you'd prefer...
NopeNah Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 It's always varied with me from girl to girl. Some would bring it up after a a few months of "dating". While others would bring it up after a few dates(Not good!). Then some just developed on their own. Impossible question to answer, everyone being different and all. Me personally have NEVER brought it up..
jerseyboy Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Yeah, but do you sit down and talk about it with the second party or do you just wait for them to bring it up? Nah I bring it up I think Usually at some point within the first few dates the girl will ask if you are dating other people. I think it probably happens then. But I usually know if I like someone pretty quickly. Also Im not a chaser. Im not the kind of guy who is going to sit around wooing you along wiht a few other guys. Id move on I suppose. Its never really been an issue. Some of it is more theroetical as Ive never had a girl say Im not ready,w ant more time. But if they had I imagine Id find it hard to invest too much emotionally in her, and would probably start asking out other people in the interim until I found someone I liked.
amirpc Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Jersey: If she doesn't bring it up, do you take that as a sign she's not that interested - or that she's seeing other guys? If so, do you ask her?
jerseyboy Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Jersey: If she doesn't bring it up, do you take that as a sign she's not that interested - or that she's seeing other guys? If so, do you ask her? No, I dont think I would. But Im very straightforward. Ive never been the kind of person to patiently sit around and try to read the tea leaves about what someojne else is thinking. You know what Im thinking, and I expect the same. I think that makes it easier on women in whom I have an interest. Im not pretending to be their friend. Im not sitting there holding back afraid that she doesnt reciprocate. I dont do that whole " I cant let her know how I feel in case I like her more than she likes me " nonsense. Im more your typical Mediterranean. Were very emotional passionate touchy feely type people. I think by comparison to others we come on pretty hard. Noit too much subtllety lol
jerseyboy Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 clarification. I dont think I would take it as a sign of disinterest. I would still ask whatever it was I wanted anyway
amirpc Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 No, I dont think I would. But Im very straightforward. Yeah I'm very straightforward too actually. I'm also Mediterranean I'm resisting the urge to hijack this poor guys thread so bad here. Thanks for the info, I think you've got a good perspective on things.
jerseyboy Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 Yeah I'm very straightforward too actually. I'm also Mediterranean I'm resisting the urge to hijack this poor guys thread so bad here. Thanks for the info, I think you've got a good perspective on things. LOL So you know it. Last thing a girl is wondering is if we like her lol I watch these guys go through life in terror of women. Its funny
amirpc Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 LOL So you know it. Last thing a girl is wondering is if we like her lol I watch these guys go through life in terror of women. Its funny Oh, they know. Question is can they handle it...normally, no. To be fair, women are the scariest thing I encounter on a daily basis. I guess Texas drivers are up there too.
PinkToes Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 I've been in six relationships that lasted between 6 months and 4 years, and I've never had The Talk. Seems we were always on the same page from the beginning.
ADF Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 It has never really been an issue for me. I would never ask out someone I knew was seeing someone else. Nor would I consider entering into a relationship with some who was playing the field, so to speak.
EarthGirl Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 Not true! You could say which one you'd prefer... eh...too painful to think about right now I guess...I feel like I'm way past the point of daydreaming or even just throwing out ideas...sorry.
purplehouse Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 The guy i am seeing and I had 'the talk' today. I initiated it because i was confused about some aspects of our time together and what it all meant. He was so great about it, opened up and answered my questions. To be honest i prefer to 'go with the flow' and i think he does too, but the talk was kind of needed due to some confusion. i think it depends on the people/situation.
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